Chapter Sixteen
Willa
I hated being sick.
I mean, I guess everyone does. And while my family usually teased my cousin Violet of being the terrible patient—because she bemoaned her fate loudly and often—I was right up there with her when it came to being difficult when I didn’t feel well.
I was just more quiet about it. I cuddled up and wallowed. Usually whimpered and whined a lot. As a kid, I had my parents to fuss over me. But as an adult, I was always on my own to suffer, so it didn’t really matter if I was miserable about it.
I honestly hadn’t given much thought to the idea of being sick with a small baby. My immune system was supposed to protect her. But I guess if my immune system was compromised too, what could be done?
At the sound of Owen’s voice, my head whipped up.
“You called my parents?” I asked.
“They called you at the exact right moment,” he explained. “I asked them to come over. I was having trouble waking you up, and Adelaide felt way too hot to me.”
“I can’t believe I didn’t realize she was getting sick.”
“How could you? This is your first time doing this.”
“I guess. But she was intolerably fussy. And I wasn’t feeling right either. I thought it was just because I was tired.” And I wrote the body aches off as, well, soreness from straddling him.
“There’s nothing to blame yourself for. You’re sick. She’s sick. It happens.”
“But what if you weren’t here? How long would I have slept? How long would Adelaide have gone without someone realizing she was off?”
“Hey,” Owen said, coming into the room, toeing off his shoes, then climbing up on the bed.
“Let’s not do that. I was here. I did notice.
You would have woken up eventually and done whatever needed to be done.
There’s nothing to beat yourself up about.
Now, your mom sent me up here to make sure you take this. ”
“I don’t like taking anything when I’m breastfeeding.”
“Your fridge and freezer are full of milk. Adelaide won’t starve. Besides, I don’t think this really matters for that. But it will stop you from hallucinating.”
“My dad told you about that?” I asked, wincing as I took the pills and swallowed them back with half the bottle of water.
There was a scratchy sensation in my throat that I knew was going to turn into soreness sooner rather than later.
If that was what Adelaide was feeling, it was no wonder she was fussy and didn’t want to nurse.
“Yeah. He said it came on outta nowhere like this too.”
“Yeah. I kind of wish my baby didn’t inherit that particular trait,” I said, sighing.
“Your mom is cooing over Adelaide. Your dad ran to the store for supplies.”
“They’re the best.”
“Yeah, they seem like it. I gotta ask you something.”
“Sure.”
“Paine?”
I shot him a small smile.
“Basically, his dad named him that because my grandmother was in so much pain when she was in labor. It was a name that has served him well in both his jobs, though.”
I mean, if there was ever a time to broach this topic, I guess it was now.
“How’s that?”
“All my life, he’s been a tattoo artist.”
“Ah,” Owen said, nodding. “That does make sense.”
“But before I was born, before he met my mom, he’d been wrapped up in a street gang. Well, he’d… run a street gang. Back when he was young and poor and saw it as the only way out of a rough start at life. So… Paine. Sounds threatening.”
“How’d he and your mom meet?”
“Mom was caught up in something, and she was being chased down the road at night. He let her into his building. From there, it was a whole thing that eventually led to them living happily ever after.”
They were everything I’d secretly wanted for myself. My mom had a big, powerful career. My father had his own business and never felt less-than because my mom earned more money. Their marriage was something they always prioritized—which was why they were still one of the happiest couples I knew.
Unfortunately for me, any attempt to find someone to have that sort of life and future with had fizzled out and died.
The worst of the worst, of course, being Adelaide’s father.
“You look a lot like your mom.”
“Yeah. My brother is the spitting image of my dad,” I said, glad for something other than my crummy past relationships to talk about. “Did they… have questions about why you’re here?”
“Both of them. Your mom asked, then immediately told me not to answer.”
“Somehow I doubt my father did the same thing.”
“He basically asked if I’ve been here a lot. I did say yes to that. I didn’t want to lie to him. I know we haven’t had a chance to talk—”
“We don’t have to, if you don’t want to.”
His brows pinched at that. “What?”
“I mean, I know it was just… that things kind of—”
“Honey,” he cut me off. “We’re grown-ass adults. We talk about things. Even if it’s uncomfortable.”
“Okay,” I agreed. “Last night…”
“Last night,” he repeated. “Felt like it was a long time coming. To me, at least.”
“Yeah,” I agreed.
“I get that maybe you’re not looking for anything right now. You have a lot on your plate.”
“I’m not not looking for something. I just figured that, ha,” I huffed, “that being a single mom to a small baby might not exactly be what men are looking for.”
“Maybe not the wrong kind of men,” he agreed. “The right kind of man wouldn’t see it as some sort of flaw.”
“And you’re the right kind of man?” I asked, afraid to hope after everything I’d been through.
“I’m the right kind of man.”
“I mean, it’s not like I’m asking you to be my daughter’s father or anything—”
“But you need to know it’s something any man in your life would be open to.”
“Yeah.”
“I know you’re a package deal, Willa. I know that by being here, being with you, being a part of Adelaide’s life is part of it. A big part of it.”
“I know she’s small and she doesn’t really know any better yet, but I’m not looking to bring a revolving door of men into her life. That’s not fair.”
“I’m a commitment-type guy. I wouldn’t try to be a part of your life if I didn’t hope it would be for a long time.”
“I know that, you know, things happen, obviously. I just want someone around who at least wants to be around, you know?”
“I want to be around. Even when you have a fever flush and a runny nose,” he said, reaching toward the nightstand to pass me a tissue.
“Guess the cold part is setting in.” I sighed and blew my nose. “Really, you don’t need to be here for this. What if I get you sick?”
“Then you can play nursemaid for me,” he said with a smirk. “You should be resting.”
“I can’t. Adelaide—”
“Is being cared for by her grandparents.”
“Yeah, but if they stay, I need to clean the guest—”
“I can get the other guest room ready for them.”
I was surprised how much of a weight that offer took off my shoulders. I didn’t want to complain too much, but my bones felt heavy. Just getting up to go to the bathroom sounded like a monumental task. Changing a bed sounded impossible.
“Yeah?”
“Just point me to the sheets.”
“They’re in the closet in that room.”
“I’ll get on that then. You finish your water and try to rest. Oh, and it’s garbage night, right? I’ll get the pails out. What?” he asked, catching me watching him as he got off the bed.
“Nothing. It’s just… kind of nice not to have to do everything.”
“You miss putting the pails out more often than you remember.”
“Oh, I remember. I just hate doing it.”
“Well, now you don’t have to. I’ll check in on you in a bit,” he said, then leaned over the bed to press a quick kiss to my forehead.
“And you’ll make sure my parents have Adelaide covered?”
“Yep. Now, get some rest.”
I didn’t. Not right away, anyway.
I lay there, listening to Owen moving around in the guest room, my mom singing to Adelaide, and, eventually, my father’s voice as he brought back supplies. And, finally, Owen dragging the pails down the long driveway.
“Hey, my girl,” my dad said, standing in the doorway with a tray. “How you feeling?”
I sighed.
“That good, huh? Your mother had me bring you tea, electrolytes, and some orange juice.”
“Thank you,” I said, sitting up and reaching for the tea. The scratch was steadily becoming an ache, and the tea might help soothe it.
“So,” he said, and I tensed, knowing what was coming. “Owen.”
“Owen,” I agreed.
“Is this a safe space?” he asked.
“Sure.”
“I hated that stuck-up, slimy, piece of shit ex of yours from the moment I saw him.”
“You weren’t overly discreet about that, Dad.”
“And that was before the whole truth came out.”
“Yeah, well, to be fair, I hated him a lot after that too.”
“That said, I like this one. Calm, stable, gentle with my grandbaby, and my baby, knows when he needs help, takes the bins out…”
“He cooks too.”
“Sweetie, you don’t need to sell me on him,” he said, giving me a smile. “I know that bastard did a number on you, and you’re probably not sure about who you can trust, but I think he’s one of the good ones.”
“We can just leave it there, you know,” I told him.
“You don’t have to enlist Aunt Alex and have her hack into all his socials or anything like that.
” My aunt was a hacker disguised as a private investigator.
She specialized in cheating husbands, but was known to run background checks on the men her nieces got involved with.
If only I’d had her run a check on my ex…
No.
Then I wouldn’t have Adelaide.
And I wouldn’t trade her for anything.
“Hey, Mama,” my mom said from the doorway. “Do you want me to give her a bottle, or do you want to give nursing a try?”
“My body is producing antibodies,” I said, holding my heavy arms out for my baby. “The more she can ingest through my milk, the better.”
With that, they made their way out to check out the guest room Owen had set up for them, so I could nurse in peace.
Adelaide was still a little fussy and didn’t get as much milk as she normally would have, but the medicine must have made her feel a little better because she settled down right after.
I was starting to doze with her in my arms when I felt her gently being lifted. When my eyes snapped open, I saw Owen there. “Your dad brought the bassinet up to the guest room. They’re going to take her in there and just bring her in if she needs to nurse.”
“Okay.”
“How are you feeling?”
“Meh.”
“Sleep will help. Do you know where Tuna’s fish toy is?”
“I think he stashed it under the couch pillow. Why?”
“He won’t settle without it. I’m trying to keep him out of your parents’ room.”
“They won’t mind,” I assured him. “You need to get some sleep. You have to be exhausted.”
“I’m alright. I’m just going to close down the house for the night, then turn in.”
“I’d offer for you to turn in here, but I don’t want to get you sick. Or keep you up all night with Adelaide. Or my nose blowing. Or hacking, since I’m sure that’s coming, too.”
“For the record, I wouldn’t mind any of that. But I don’t want to make things awkward with your parents in the house.”
“They’re aware Adelaide didn’t come from immaculate conception, you know,” I teased, getting a little chuckle out of him. “But you really do need some sleep. Go on.”
“I’ll check on you.”
“You don’t need to do that.”
“But I want to. Goodnight, honey.”
“Goodnight.”
I felt like garbage—sore throat, body aches, a fever, congestion that was causing a headache, and a bone-deep sort of exhaustion. But there was a warm, floating feeling in my chest as I drifted off to sleep.