Chapter 40
Devyn
A nd just like that, Devyn Campbell became Devyn Isaac. With a swift flick of a painted finger on a mouse hovered over the word Print.
The paper’s still warm, and the pep in my step is probably evident to everyone within a mile, as I practically leap over the stoop and sashay to my Jeep, throwing kisses behind me in the wind to my brother and, weirdly enough, my mother .
I have won twenty-seven titles since I was in middle school. All of them came with sparkling tiaras and glorified titles like Princess or Queen. I was given the trendiest diets to follow and the prettiest ballgowns to model. I was even provided with the finest education in the city and a built-in fan base to follow.
But happiness isn’t in career success, reputation, or crowns.
The most beautiful smile is still held up by the same set of jaws. And mine were clenched. Maybe even wired shut.
It doesn’t matter if it was by me or anyone else. The fact is you can’t lie to yourself. You have to be you.
The fact is, with Hunter and Ellie…
My mouth opens, and it sings.
I rev the engine, the rumble beneath my bones filling me with a sense of urgency. I throw on my playlist, Can’t Stop Me Now, and I know in my heart everything up to this point has been for a reason.
In my heart and in my gut, I feel it all shift. Today is a new beginning for all of us.
My tires glide across the road, hugging the parts that matter and adjusting to the twists that require give. I smile because Hunter had these aligned and rotated for me when he took it to his friend’s shop. He paid for all the extras of course, causing me to become infuriatingly more attracted to him. But I didn’t want it going to his head.
I searched everywhere for the bill. Even called up the shop to ask what he’d paid so I could sneak it back into his wallet, but they wouldn’t tell me. My grin widens.
Hunter and I go back so far that the whole town has been rooting for us from the get-go, and I hadn’t even noticed. Lemon with the not-so-fake marriage, Katie for allowing it to go on despite her pretty serious conflict of interest with being Ellie’s social worker, and don’t even get me started on Shana for being complacent as all get-out for the goody-goody she usually is.
But sometimes you don’t know what you need like your friends do. And that just warms my heart further. The fact that I have such amazing people around me. Ones who love me for me, the bitchy parts and all. And ones who want to see me succeed, who see the best parts of me, despite the worst ones.
They tried to point me in the right direction even when I wasn’t ready to see the way. That’s friendship.
My heart soars almost as fast as the numbers on my dash, and I glance down, relieved to see that even though I’m pumping it hard and fast to some dub-step instrumentals I have no idea the name of, I’m not speeding.
Just three more miles until I reach the courthouse.
Katie is there today, preparing, and I want this done and filed before Ellie’s bio mom even wakes up tomorrow morning.
The marriage certificate and ticket to Ellie’s freedom sit directly on the seat to my right, and nothing has ever looked more intentional. I clench my hands tightly around the steering wheel, ready to get this done once and for all as I fly past Mullins Road and—
Crash!
I’m jolted.
I hear the screeching of tires, feel the scraping of metal, smashing of glass, the impact throwing me to the side faster than I can blink.
The sound reaches me from within, bursting from my eardrums, and the beat of my heart pounds with the same intensity as the song that plays on repeat through the speakers. My body curves unnaturally upward, the air rushing from my lungs like it was stolen. It fights its way out of me, clawing the inside of my throat, and my body cracks, smacking hard against the interior of my Jeep. I distantly gather that we must be upside down.
Blood rushes to my head as time slows, and my neck whips violently to the left, smacking my skull against the window. We’re rolling.
I feel the pain in every nerve ending upon impact as my brain thrashes within the crevasses of my skull, and the fullness lulls my head from side to side with the direction of the vehicle. It’s fuzzy. Everywhere I look I see blood, slowly dripping down my forehead, into my eyelashes. Sticky. Thick. Paint from a barn door before the summer rain, spattering, dripping from the sky.
For a fraction of time, it’s just me, the air, and a floating paper that represents my purpose.
That, and the beat of my heart.
The car falls to its side, my vision in and out in colors and pain, and it’s not exactly slow motion, but it is long enough for Abel’s words to run through my head. A chance to choose again.
And I chose them .
Even if that chance ends today, with my last breath, I have no regrets. I’d do it all over again. I know what Hunter means when he says that now. I’d choose the time spent with Hunter and Ellie all over again despite any heartache life throws my way.
Because in the end, that’s choosing the most important thing of all.
It’s choosing individual moments you can’t replace. It’s choosing the here and now, even if those things are hard and scary.
Imperfect. Or broken.
It’s choosing to make them whole again with love.
The earth shifts in an instant when the car comes crashing down to the pavement, the shards of metal, glass, and plastic exploding like fireworks across my vision. And I know nothing in this moment other than the abrupt smack of all-encompassing pain, as my body slams hard against space and time.
And there is only darkness.