Chapter Six #3
Not that she wanted anything serious. She was not in a place where forever was even in her vocabulary. Could she do casual, though? It wasn’t something she’d ever considered before, because no one had even tempted her. Her inexperience was pathetic.
She snorted. Inexperience was the biggest understatement in the history of time.
He glanced at her. “What?”
“Nothing.” She shook her head. “I was just thinking something stupid.”
“Somehow I doubt that?”
“Why?”
“Because you’re the smartest, strongest, most amazing person I know.”
She snorted at his joke. Except, he wasn’t laughing or chuckling. Or even smiling. In fact, he was giving her a bit of side eye.
“You obviously don’t get out much.” She nudged him with her elbow, kept her tone light.
And now he gave her the full-on side eye, the corner of his mouth pulling down. “Why do you do that?”
Okay, now she really had no idea what he was talking about. “Do what?”
“Diminish your accomplishments.”
She sucked in a deep breath. “You don’t beat around the bush, huh?”
He turned to face her, leaning his elbow on the railing. “I don’t see the point in playing games. And you didn’t answer the question.”
She tore her gaze from his, looked out at the water. Facing him right now just felt like too much. “Mainly because I don’t feel all that smart or strong or amazing.”
“Why not?”
She laughed, but it sounded hollow. “Why do you think? I got pregnant at sixteen and then just continued to make a bunch of stupid mistakes after that.”
“Shit, haven’t we all made dumb ass choices?
” The bitterness in his tone made her look at him.
“It’s what you do after you’ve done something stupid that defines you.
” His eyes blazed with heat. “And you not only embraced your mistakes and made the best out of the consequences, but you turned your life around, created a great one for your daughter. I’m in awe of you. ”
Her chest squeezed tight, the unexpected declaration knocking the words right out of her. Tears made the back of her eyes hot. Now was not the time. But her body refused to listen to reason, and a tear slipped past and slid down her cheek.
Uncertainty lit in his ice blue eyes. “Shit, I’m sorry.”
She wiped the tear away with the back of her hand. “No, please don’t apologize. That’s the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me.”
He slipped his hand into hers and gave a squeeze. “Then you’re hanging out with the wrong people.”
She laughed and squeezed back.
He moved closer. “I’d really like to kiss you.”
“I’d really like to kiss you, too.” She tipped her head back.
He scanned her face, his gaze skating over her features, as if he was memorizing the moment. Heat flickered in his eyes, and they darkened in the bright sunlight. He leaned down. She held her breath.
The brush of his lips sent a tingle through her, bouncing along her nerves, right to the tips of her fingers and toes. His lips were soft, the kiss light. Nice, but not what she wanted.
She shuffled forward, into his space. A rumble reverberated in his chest. He wrapped his arm around her waist, pulled her flush against him. He slid his other hand into her hair, cradling the back of her head. His touch was light, careful.
He brushed his tongue against the seam of her lips. She opened without hesitation. His tongue dove into her mouth, seeking and demanding.
She tilted her head, deepening the kiss, thrusting her tongue against his. He tasted divine, like the most decadent dark chocolate mixed with spiciest of bourbons. She could easily get drunk on his kisses. Addicted to them. To him.
Leaning forward, she pressed herself completely against the long, lean length of him.
She couldn’t get enough of all of that solid strength against her.
Except, there were far too many layers of cotton and wool between them.
What would it feel like skin to skin? She just might spontaneously combust.
He slid the hand around her waist lower, so it sat just above her butt.
His thumb traced a back and forth arc against the fabric of her jeans.
Goosebumps popped up along her spine, a needy ache spiraled through her.
And then he slid his hand up and under her jacket and t-shirt, brushing his chilled fingers against the skin on her lower back.
She shivered and gasped, pulling away from the kiss. But she didn’t pull away from him. She felt safe in his arms, which was ridiculous and dangerous. But she couldn’t quite bring herself to move away.
The intensity in his gaze made her heart kick into a triple time tempo. His lips were swollen, his cheeks pink. This close, she could see he had a light smattering of freckles across the bridge of his nose. How had she never noticed before?
Bending forward, he brushed his lips against hers again in the barest hint of a kiss. She sighed and pressed her forehead against his chest. “Wow.”
He chuckled, the vibration of his chest sliding through her. She slipped her arms around his waist. It was an intimate embrace, a lover’s embrace. And it felt good. Too good.
His thumb brushed against her back in that same, distracting arc. The tight band in her belly slid lower and throbbed. She sucked in a shaky breath. Buried her face against his chest. He smelled like outside. Woodsy and clean, with a hint of the ocean. Intoxicating.
He placed a kiss on the top of her head. She would have melted into a puddle if it wasn’t for their embrace.
“I know this is fast, but would you like to come back to my hotel?”
She lifted her head, her breath trapped in her throat. Her brain and her hormones waged war, battering and bruising her on the inside.
The crossroads lay ahead and now she needed to make a choice.
Keep things casual and let whatever was going to happen, happen. And part of her really, really, really wanted all the things to happen. She couldn’t remember ever wanting anything more.
Or, bring this to a screeching halt. Tell him the kiss—although incredible—was a mistake and they needed to keep their relationship platonic. Professional. It was the most practical, and safest, option. Besides, she was used to not getting what she wanted.
Her mind was made up.
“Yeah, I’d like to go back to your hotel with you.”
So much for practicality. But she could stress about it later.
Now that she was committed, she was all about seizing the day.
And she was going to seize it so hard, the moment would be imprinted on her forever.
This was a once in a lifetime opportunity for a do-over, and there was no way she was going to throw it back.
Somewhere, deep inside, her teenage self was fist pumping like there was no tomorrow. Because she was doing this. Finally, after all these years, she was going to have sex with Nick Sadler.