Chapter Seven #3
At this point, he was going to ignore the fact he’d been a dick all afternoon. And she was such a good person, she hadn’t even called him out on it. Even though he totally deserved it.
He was just so fucking confused when it came to her that he didn’t know if inside was up or downside was out. Before he’d come to Seattle and met Alex and Em, he’d had focus. Get in shape, get back in the lineup, win the championship, prove he wasn’t a fuck up.
But now, for some reason he didn’t understand, those things didn’t seem as important as they had even a few weeks ago. Which was stupid.
He needed to win the championship. The championship was what he’d spent his whole life training for.
Winning would prove it hadn’t been a mistake for New England to draft him first over all, all those years ago.
He could finally show them the time and effort, the trust they’d put in him, was justified.
And worth it.
He stepped up the final step and into the hallway. It was dark and it took a moment for his eyes to adjust. A single strip of light shone underneath a door partway down the hall. Alex stood in front of it, her back to him.
She knocked softly and pressed her ear to the door.
He smiled. She’d mentioned Em had been caught doing something she shouldn’t have. That could be anything, although he’d gotten the impression it was something pretty compromising. Teenagers weren’t known for their good choices. Not that he’d ever had the chance to rebel.
The smile slid off his lips. He didn’t like the idea of Em being in a compromising position, not one bit. She was way too young to be doing stuff like that. Kissing or making out or anything of that nature could wait until she was at least… what? Forty? Yeah, that sounded about right.
Alex pushed open the door and then disappeared inside. She left the door open.
Most likely because she wasn’t expecting you to be skulking around in the dark.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever. It wasn’t like he was creeping… much. He walked over to the door, staying pressed against the wall, and strained to hear what was going on in Em’s room. Part of him wanted to peek, but that would be a step too far.
Yeah, because that’s too much. You’re still a fucking creeper.
Yeah, but he couldn’t seem to stop. He’d unpack all of that psychology shit later.
Or maybe never. Besides, with his luck today, if he did peek, he’d probably get caught and then need to come up with an excuse.
Since he wasn’t necessarily all that good on the spot, he’d probably fuck it up. Just like everything else.
Rustling drifted through the door.
“Hey.” Was that Em? Why was her voice so croaky? Had she been sleeping?
“Hey, baby.” That was definitely Alex, but he’d never heard that tone from her before. Soft and sweet, braided through with love. Something about it made the area just above his heart hurt. “Not feeling well?”
Aw, was she sick?
“Just a headache. And I’m really tired.” She sounded so young. The urge to soothe her welled up inside him, which was weird, because he was not the nurturing type. He had no idea where all of these weird feelings were coming from, but he was starting to feel suffocated.
“You’ve got a bit of a fever. I’m going to get you something for it, okay?” Alex’s voice still held that soft and sweet tone, but now there was a thread of concern woven through it. The ache in his chest flared bright.
He couldn’t remember his mother ever using a tone like that with him or his brother, Nathan. She definitely hadn’t been the nurturing type, and his father was so far from nurturing he probably didn’t even know the meaning of the word.
Footsteps padded across the carpet. Shit, Alex was coming this way.
He slipped back down the hallway a bit, ducking into the shadows.
If she turned on the hall light, he was fucked.
He needed to come up with a reason why he was sneaking around in the dark, but his mind refused to work.
His scalp prickled, his fingers tingling.
He squeezed his hands into fists, trying to center himself.
She rushed out of the bedroom and into a room across the hall. The light came on and there was shuffling and rattling. Then the tap came on. She snapped off the light and hurried back across the hall.
He waited a beat, taking in a deep breath, and letting it out slowly, quietly. The tingling in his fingers and hands ebbed.
Alex and Em were talking too low for him to hear anything. Even though he should probably turn around and go back downstairs, he didn’t. He slipped back over to the door. His curiosity got the better of him, and he tilted his head to peek into the room.
Alex was helping Em lay back against the pillow.
She pressed a kiss to Em’s forehead and placed the glass of water on the nightstand.
She stood there for a minute, her back to him, but he swore he could feel her love for Em all the way across the room.
The ache above his heart exploded, radiating through his chest, snatching his breath.
She reached over and snapped off the lamp. The light from the window was enough for him to keep track of shapes.
Em reached out and grabbed Alex’s arm.
“What is it, baby?” Alex whispered the words, but he was so focused, he heard them.
“Mom, would you stay with me?” And there was that young sounding voice again, the one that made every protective instinct in his body leap to attention.
“Of course, sweetheart.” Alex lowered herself to the edge of the mattress and from this angle, it looked like she took Em’s hand. Em made the sweetest little noise.
After a handful of heartbeats, Alex climbed into the bed and pulled Em close.
The need to wrap his arms around the two of them, hold them and never let them go, ripped through him.
The pain in his chest intensified, almost crushing his lungs.
The prickle in his scalp slid down the back of his neck and across his shoulders.
Alex kissed the top of Em’s head. “Feel better, baby.”
And then she started to sing.
The ache crawled up his throat, making it thick and hard to breathe. Heat burned the back of his eyes. He needed to get out of here right now.
He spun and hurried downstairs as quietly as possible.
His breath came out in gulps and gasps. The second stair from the bottom squeaked when he stepped on it and he stopped, his heart pounding so hard against his ribs he thought they might crack.
He strained to hear beyond the blood rushing through his ears.
Nothing.
He bolted through the townhouse, making a bee-line for the front door, snapping off the lamp in the living room on his way through. The light from the range hood cast an eerie, cold light through the main floor.
His emotions were all over the place, and he didn’t know why. He just knew he had to get out of here. Be by himself for a bit. Stop and think without the distraction Alex and Em were turning out to be.
He slipped on his shoes, quickly tying the laces, before reaching into the closet to grab his coat. The scent of coconut hit him. He closed his eyes. The ache in his chest pulsed, making him light headed. He grabbed his coat and slipped it on.
The doorknob was cold against his fingers.
He hesitated for a second.
Then he opened the door and stepped onto the front porch.
The freezing, damp, windy air rushed against him, making his cheeks and forehead sting. He stuffed his hands in his pockets and stepped off the porch. The walkway stretched in front of him.
He hesitated again.
But then, once again, he moved forward. It was, after all, what he’d always done. Put one foot in front of the other. So that’s what he did now.
He hurried down the walk and onto the sidewalk. The residential street was quiet, the streetlights highlighting the emptiness. Suddenly, he felt lost, adrift, and he didn’t know what to do with himself.
Closing his eyes, he took another deep breath.
The cold air burned his lungs, but it helped to clear his head.
He opened his eyes and blinked. The ice on the edge of the sidewalk sparkled in the light.
He took a step forward, and then another.
Kept his gaze forward. He’d call a cab when he got down the street.
And like always, he refused to look back. Even though he really, really wanted to.
Alex woke with the worst crick in her neck. She blinked her eyes open. It took a few moments to realize she was in Emily’s room instead of her own.
She rolled over and came face to face with her daughter.
“Morning.” Em mumbled the greeting through a yawn.
“Good morning.” Alex tucked Em’s hair behind her ear and pressed her palm to Em’s forehead. No fever. “How are you feeling?”
“Fine.” Em yawned again.
Alex glanced at the clock. 7:30am.
“How did it go yesterday?”
She glanced at Em. “How did what go?”
“Your date? With Nick?”
Nick!
Alex rolled off the bed and rushed downstairs, her heart thudding against her ribs with every thundering step. He had to still be here. She’d find him stretched out on the sofa, looking all disheveled and rumpled and yummy.
He wasn’t there.
She sank down onto the sofa, disappointment radiating through her, and tilted her head back to stare up at the ceiling. When had he left? She hadn’t heard him, but that wasn’t surprising. Snuggling with Em had been far too comfortable. She’d fallen asleep quickly.
“Mom?” Em shuffled into the room, her comforter wrapped around her.
“Yeah, baby?”
“What’s going on?” Em was lucky she understood the question through another yawn.
“Nothing, really.” She patted the seat beside her. “I was just checking to see if Nick was still here.”
Em snuggled in beside her and rested her head on Alex’s shoulder. “Nick was here?” She spread the comforter over Alex’s lap. The two of them snuggled under the blanket was very reminiscent of when Em was younger. It was nice.
“Yeah, he tweaked his knee yesterday and we ended up getting him an MRI. I wanted to monitor the swelling, so he came back here.”
“And?”
“And, I accidentally fell asleep with you.”