Chapter 5
"Ethan just likes you so much. He's been asking about you almost every day even though you two have only met a couple of times."
I thought it was sweet that he mentioned Ethan. I smiled at him, still wanting him to ask me out and thinking he was still building up to that.
"I wanted to ask you about babysitting," he said.
(That was the jab. It stung because I was embarrassed for thinking he liked me.)
"I was talking to your brothers about you the other day. My mom was too. We were asking about you because I'm looking for another babysitter. They told us your story, and honestly, we all make choices we regret. I don't want you to think I would judge you for any of that. I was telling my mom that as long as you're clean now, I definitely think you would make a great babysitter."
(These statements were the final crushing blow—like a big right hand to the jaw, causing me to feel stunned, hurt.)
I blinked, staring away from him.
So much about what he had just said was wrong. I had been looking at him and smiling at him like I actually had a chance with him romantically, and here he was, asking me to babysit. He was barely doing that .
Had he said that he hoped I was clean now?
The thought of that word made me cringe. I was not a drug addict, and I had never ever heard that word used in reference to me.
I tried to continue to smile. "Did my brothers tell you I was a drug addict or something?" I asked, making a casual face, trying to act nonchalant and unoffended.
"Wh-no, I mean, they, they were telling me about your story."
"What story?"
"That you had wrecked your car and got arrested and charged with a DUI and everything."
"My friend got the DUI, not me. It was just my car."
"Oh, okay, well, they said you had run into some trouble, and I thought they said you were getting clean."
I winced when he said it again.
"I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have put it like that. It's just that I need some help with Ethan and he loves you. I thought it was perfect. I actually need someone this weekend. Your brothers didn't say bad things about you. If they had, I definitely wouldn't trust you with Ethan."
I glanced at him and he made an apologetic expression that seemed quite sincere. He was a beautiful human, physically, and on that level, it was difficult to deny him anything. But one, he basically said I need to 'get clean' which implies that he saw me as dirty. Secondly, I didn't make it a habit to babysit.
"I don't babysit," I said out loud when the thought crossed my mind. "Thank you for the offer and everything, but I do school, and then I work at night, and, I… never have babysat anyone, not even in high school. No offense to kids, but I don't usually love hanging out with them. Your son's really cool, and I actually liked chillin' with him, but he's the exception and not the rule."
"Oh, okay."
"And I'm not a junkie or anything. I don't know what my brothers told you, but I don't have a drug problem. I have a good job. I have responsibilities that I keep up with—lots of them."
"I'm really sorry if I offended you. I didn't expect to run into you on campus. My mom's planning to give you my number the next time she sees you."
"I went to the hospital and then to jail with my friend that night. My brothers had to bail us out at six in the morning, and they were not happy. That's the day you saw me. I made choices that night, and I'm living with them. I was too out of it to handle the situation better, and I'm suffering the consequences for that. I do want you to know that I'm not actively on drugs, though. I would never do drugs around your son. I was just coming away from a big party, and even then, it's rare for me to be that messed up. "
That part was a bit of a lie. I partied nearly every weekend, but I knew saying that would make my drug use sound worse than it was.
"Like I said, I trust you or I wouldn't have asked you about watching him. I guess it really doesn't matter since you're not interested, anyway. I'll still walk you by the bookstore. I'm headed that way."
"It's crazy that you're a teacher here. You so don't seem like that's what you do for a job."
"Why?"
"I don't know—just the way you look. What kind of teacher?"
"Math," he said
"You definitely don't look like a math teacher. Maybe art or psychology."
"What are math teachers supposed to look like?"
"Squares."
"I'm pretty square, don't you think?"
"No, I don't. Not at all. You're young, too. You seem young to be a math professor."
"I'm still a student, too. I developed an app with my college roommate. We sold it and made a bunch of money."
"Ah-ha! That's what it is," I said. "I knew you weren't a regular teacher."
"What are you studying?" he asked.
"I was a communications major—getting a degree for my parents. But I switched to photography."
"Were they okay with it? "
"No, not at all. I told them it was either that or quit so that I could pursue photography full-time. Switching my major was the lesser of the two evils, I guess, so they went with that option."
"You said you work in addition to going to school. Where do you work? Is it taking pictures?"
"Yes, I'm a self-employed photographer. I take photos of party scenes. EDM gatherings, mostly. Sometimes I get hired for private parties and things like that, but it's always nightlife. That's what I'm famous for—if you want to call it famous. I'm famous in that circle, I guess. I dance and party and I take pictures of my surroundings. I don't make multiple prints. I make one copy of each photo, and that's it. My stuff is one-of-a-kind. I choose the size of the print. Most of the time, someone in the photograph buys the finished product. I offer it to them first. Anything that doesn't get purchased, ends up in a collection on Etsy."
"It sounds like you have your business model figured out. I'm surprised your parents gave you a hard time about college."
"They're like my brothers. They don't like what I photograph. They're strict and don't want me going out, partying. They think that's all I'm doing when I work. They want me to set up a stand in the mall and take family portraits like JC Penny."
"What's wrong with family portraits?"
"I wouldn't know where to begin. If you saw my stuff, you'd know how true that is. "
"Is that what the big movie-screen sunglasses were all about? An alter ego?"
I smiled. "If you want to call it that."
"Can you take pictures with those big glasses?"
"Yes, I'm actually really used to it. It's harder when I take them off. Sunglasses are part of my work uniform for sure. If it's not those, then it's another oversized pair."
"What was your stage name? Shy?"
"Yes. Sadie's fine, though."
"Well, I'm still glad I ran into you. At least now I won't be bugging you with a phone call about babysitting."
"I'm surprised you don't know anyone," I said.
It was a wonder that young women weren't lined up left and right to babysit for this man. Zoey certainly would have done it. I didn't say that to him.
"It's not that I don't know anyone. It's Ethan. He really likes you. I don't know what you said to him, but he talks about you for two days after he sees you."
"That's so sweet. What day do you need someone? I'm going to Charlotte Saturday night."
"It's for Sunday afternoon. I'll actually be home with him, but I have to be undisturbed in my office. We'll be recording an interview, so I can't be interrupted unless it's an emergency or whatever. I just need someone in the house with us for a few hours. I can ask one of my sisters. "
"I was planning on coming back Saturday night, and I usually only like to sleep till noon or one on Sundays since I have school the next day," I said. "If you're in a bind, I could probably come by Sunday afternoon."
"I won't be in a bind. I don't want you to feel obligated since you have plans this weekend."
"I'll just give you my phone number… just in case… since I'll be back by Sunday."
"If you give me your phone number, I'm going to use it."
Gosh. Those words coming out of his mouth. He meant he'd be using it for babysitting, but I wanted him to say that for reasons that weren't babysitting. He smiled when he said it and he was so good looking that I fell under his spell.
"I’m giving it to you, just in case," I said. I took a piece of paper out of my bag and jotted my number on it.
I handed it to John-Michael and he smiled. "Do you want to just plan on helping me out on Sunday?" he asked as he took it.
He was smiling and I could tell he was being funny, but I instinctually answered as if I were serious, "Yeah, sure."
"Really? I was just joking."
"Okay, then, I don't have to," I said with a shrug.
"Were you going to?"
"Yes," I said. "I was going to do it."
(He was that irresistible. )
"Then, let's do it. He would love it. That'd be amazing."
I smiled. "Okay."
"You're coming over Sunday? From maybe like three to six? Would that work?"
"Sure."
"Yessss. Thank you, Sadie. Thank you. I'll text you the address."
"Okay."
He was excited and adorable, and I was breathless.
"Thank you, Sadie."
I smiled and waved at him as he started walking away, leaving me on the sidewalk in front of the bookstore.
"You're welcome," I called.
What had just happened to me? What did I agree to? Where was I, for goodness sake? I didn't even need to go to the bookstore, yet I found myself walking inside feeling dazed.
I went on with my day, and I kept up with my classes as best I could, but I kept thinking about my conversation with John-Michael.
I was frustrated with my brothers for telling him I had been in trouble. But it wasn't the first time I had disappointed them. They downplayed this most recent incident to our parents and they were helping me out a ton, taking care of thousands of dollars in car repairs and letting me use one of their trucks in the meantime. I knew I wouldn't complain to them for talking about me, but it was embarrassing.