Cyrus
Chapter twenty-eight
Small Town USA
All four hundred American flags are hung, after the four a.m. wake-up call I received from Tucker, one of the city workers, begging me to lend an extra pair of hands.
The summer flu is going around, and it hit the team that was supposed to help.
I’m fucking exhausted. I take in our work, all along the roads red, white, and blue blow proudly in the breeze.
Twenty-two miles between the county line and where I stand.
Every power-line pole now hosts a flag. Damn.
After a long night pining for a woman who I genuinely believe would rather stab me than give me a chance, I lean against the pole, looking for a quick reprieve from the late June heat beating the fuck out of me. I chug the bottle of water, hydration my only ally today.
A firetruck’s horn blares—Jonah’s favorite way to announce his presence and steal my peace.
I’m grateful our friendship survived. Truly.
But damn, the man exists solely to test my patience.
Someone needs to sleep with him before I lose my last shred of restraint.
My oldest living friend, and most days I’m torn between hugging him and strangling him.
I stand, fully prepared for the mental gymnastics it’s going to take to keep up with whatever is on his mind.
Now that Fallon and I are officially co-parenting, he is making it his business to ask daily if Fallon deems me worthy of her yet. It’s a slap in the face, a hit to the ego, and most importantly, it reminds me that Fallon is the one who is too good for me.
Weeks have flown past. Our mornings beginning with coffee on the porch, our days filled with adventures with the kids, our evenings ending in her little glass room addition.
She’s really built a life for herself, and I stress her life doesn’t have room for me in it.
Damned if I give up, though, every day, whether it’s a chore, an errand, home improvement, or…
fucking begging to take her trash out. I bask in the resentment and anger of Fallon Lawson.
I thought I was making progress with her, especially after how thoughtful she has been with Liam.
But, no. That grace only extends to the kids when they aren’t looking.
Or when she doesn’t think I’m watching her…
her face morphs into one of despair, resentment, or even anger.
She’s too expressive to hide her emotions from me. It’s when she looks her most beautiful.
She’s magnificent
“Hey homie. How’s life in paradise today?”
“The sun is shining, my civic duty is complete, and Fallon hates my guts. Life’s a peach.”
He pulls his shades to the brim of his nose; the feigned pity makes it all worse. “Dude scored two kids, great job, and the perfect woman to obsess with, and you’re still not happy? Humble thyself, homie, it takes time.”
I wipe the sweat from my brow before giving him a look that conveys my feelings. “Believe me, Fallon Lawson humbles me every chance she gets.”
I lean against the light pole as I watch, along with a group of ladies, as Jonah leaps down from the fire rig. I’m confident enough in my sexual preference to admit it. The guy’s fucking gorgeous. He turns, giving the women a dramatic bow before zeroing in on me.
“So what have you guys done as a family unit?”
Now it’s my turn to raise my brows. “We’ve been doing stuff almost daily.”
“Enlighten me?”
“BBQs with Mom and the ladies, breakfast at Fallon’s, we went to the park, though it was a bit crowded, so the kids hung out by the stream where it was quieter. We went to the caves.”
He considers me; his demeanor changing the longer I talk.
“Do you have something to say?” I question.
“Dude, are you embarrassed to be with Fallon and Billy?” I bracket my hips, not appreciating the accusation.
“Actually, it’s she who is embarrassed to be seen with me.”
“So you’re doing things privately? That’s shady behavior.”
I’m genuinely perplexed; he doesn’t give me time to explain, and he keeps forging on.
“Fallon has always been an outcast in this town. Now you’re back, she admits you’re Billy’s father, and you do BBQs in the backyard and hide down by the river with them?
No, asshole, you pick them up and strut around town, open doors for them, and make sure the whole damn city witnesses the four of you together.
Climb on a ladder in the middle of downtown and beat that beefy Neanderthal chest of yours.
Dude, I’m disappointed. If I were Fallon, I would be an asshole to you too. ”
Huh. Hiding them is not my intention; I’m trying to get to know them. This town always gets involved in everything. I’m a private person. I tug the strands of my hair before resting my hands back on my hips. Jonah gives me a knowing look.
If Fallon believes the same as Jonah, that I’m somehow embarrassed by them. Well shit. Her growing hurt and anger make sense now; it wraps around my heart like barbed wire.
“That couldn’t be further from the truth.”
“Truth is merely one’s perception.”
“When did you become so wise?” I joke. Jonah gives me a small, resigned smile.
“Time changes us.”
“You’re keeping secrets, aren’t you? What’s up, man?”
He dodges my question by asking. “What are you going to do about Fallon?” Nosey busybody, all in everyone else’s business.
Yet, I can’t get him to open up about his life, and who put that look on his face.
It screams, ‘someone kicked my puppy.’ Sighing.
That’s just how Jonah is. If he doesn’t want to share—he won’t.
Doesn’t stop him from being in my business though.
It isn’t Fallon I’m worried about. It’s my own insecurity.
I always thought of myself as a solid man who does the right thing.
What if people see us together and see how I failed her and Billy?
That’s some shit I will have to deal with in time, for now.
Fallon needs to know it’s not her that’s the problem.
Hello, it’s me. I’m the fucking problem.