CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
CADI
Cadi stirred as the shift of Elias’s body beneath hers brought her consciousness back into the room.
A sleepy smile tugged at her lips when she felt him press a kiss to her head, and she didn’t dare move, letting him think she was still asleep for just a moment longer.
It wasn’t until he settled back against the pillows that she turned and rested her chin on his chest to gaze up at him through sleep-blurred eyes.
“Sorry,” he whispered, running his hand over her hair. “I didn’t mean to wake you.”
“It’s okay,” she said, her voice gravelly with sleep.
Twisting her body, she extended her arms and legs as far as they would go, groaning at the way the movement pulled at her muscles.
She settled herself back into him, and a soft sigh escaped her as his fingers resumed their path over her skin.
If this was the closest she ever came to heaven, that would be just fine with her.
A cool beam of light filtered across the bed to mingle with the fading flicker of the low-burning pillars.
Cadi tipped her head to gaze out the window behind them and found that the blanket of black clouds had given way to stars.
Their distant lights twinkled and danced, almost as if the cosmos itself was winking at her after quietly bearing witness to the way Elias had her shaking less than an hour ago.
“How are you feeling?” he asked. His voice was soft, but she could hear the concern that drifted just beneath the surface of his question, like he could sense how much it had cost for her to let him in, to let him see her so unguarded and exposed.
He studied her face, searching for any flicker of regret or fear that she knew he wouldn’t find.
Opening herself to him had been the most terrifying thing she’d ever done, but she would do it again in an instant if he asked her.
She smiled up at him, letting her fingers skim his collarbone. “I’m good.”
“Good, like you’ll be fine? Or good like you’d gladly let me ruin you again?”
She laughed. “The second one. Definitely the second one.”
The low sound of his answering chuckle resonated through his chest, stirring the tiny flutter in her own.
A pleasant tingle remained on her skin where he touched her, the heat from their bodies coalescing in a way that made her belly go tight.
She thought his touch set her on fire before, but it was nothing compared to the pull she felt now, the need to be as close to him as possible, with nothing standing between them.
“By the way,” she said, walking her fingertips across his torso, smiling at the tiny twitch of his abs at each touch, “I’m on birth control.”
His stomach relaxed as he let out a breath, and his hand moved to cup her face. “And you trust me?”
Cadi lifted her shoulder, a half grin pulling at her lips. “I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t.”
Elias leaned forward and pressed his lips to hers. “Good,” he murmured against her, “cause that was my only one.”
Cadi’s mouth fell open in feigned offense. “Are you saying you only got one condom on the off chance that I would sleep with you tonight? How presumptuous …”
He let out a soft laugh as he tugged her back into him. “I like to be prepared, remember?” he crooned as he playfully nudged her chin with his nose so he could kiss her throat.
Her answering giggle floated through the room, and she slid her hand over his shoulder, feeling his muscles flex as he slowly traced his palm along her hip. If he kept doing that, she was going to melt straight into the bed.
“Speaking of being prepared,” he said, taking a break from driving her mad, “I have an impressive selection of dentist-branded toothbrushes for you to choose from.”
Cadi froze, her hand hovering at the curve of his neck.
She pulled her lips between her teeth as uncomfortable laughter brewed in her gut.
After the shit she had just given him, he was never going to let her live it down when he found out she had packed her own.
They hadn’t specifically discussed her spending the night, so she’d assumed she would just head home once the storm broke.
Throwing her toothbrush into her bag had been a last-minute decision as she walked out the door. Just in case.
Elias pulled back, his brows pinched at the sudden change in her posture. “You are planning to stay, aren’t you?”
“Yes!” she assured him, her eyes going wide at the confused look on his face. “Sorry, no it’s not that at all, it’s just … well, I brought mine from home.”
A mischievous smirk curved his mouth. “Now who’s presumptuous?”
Cadi grinned. “At least you know we were on the same page.”
He tipped his mouth to find hers, pulling a soft sound from her at the tenderness in his kiss.
His lips moved against hers slow, unhurried, nothing like the wild hunger from before.
Just soft caresses of adoration that quietly consumed her.
He pulled back, his eyes moving to where his hand now rested against her thigh, partially obscuring the colorful lines of ink embedded in her skin.
“Does this mean anything?” he said, his fingers tracing the details of the design.
Cadi gave a small shrug. “Not specifically. I’ve always liked phoenixes and the way they’re reborn after their destruction. I guess part of me wanted a reminder that I can come back from hard things, too.”
Elias stayed quiet, his gaze lingering a moment longer before his hand skimmed her side, then her arm, before he rolled her onto her back to draw his fingers against the rose on her sternum.
“And this one?” he asked.
Her breath trembled when his knuckles brushed against her breasts as he traced the outline.
“Survival. Strength.” she breathed, the two words all she could manage at that specific moment, prompting a low sound of acknowledgement from Elias.
“They’re beautiful,” he said, running his nose against the petals. “But I think this one is my favorite.”
He pressed his lips to her skin, letting them linger. Cadi breathed a laugh.
“Of course it is.”
His eyes flicked to hers with a smirk. “Can you blame me?”
Shaking her head, she ran her fingers through his hair, and let him continue to appreciate her artwork.
She hadn’t thought it was possible, but Elias had managed to crumble the last of her walls, stepping farther into her life than she had dared risk letting anyone for a long time. And even now, with the heat of his mouth pressed against her skin, he was still peeling back her layers.
Shifting her hand to his cheek, she paused his ministrations to bring his gaze back to hers. He had gently guided her across that sacred line, and now she craved more of who he was. From his smallest quirks to his biggest dreams, she needed him to know she saw him too.
“You never told me your fear.”
Elias went still as his hand paused against her hip.
She watched his face change, the soft affection dimmed by the shadow of something old and haunted as he shifted to lie beside her again.
For a moment, he didn’t speak, his eyes searching hers.
Then, he swallowed hard, and when his answer came, it was barely more than a whisper in the dark.
“Being forgotten.”
Something in the way he said it hinted at more beneath the surface, but she worried that digging would only force it deeper. So she waited.
“It terrifies me to think that one day, everything about who I truly am in this life will be left to the wind. Lost. Like I never existed in the first place.”
His eyes lowered, and a deep ache gripped Cadi’s chest at the pain she found in his voice. It didn’t seem possible that someone like him could ever fade away. Someone who had managed to mean so much to her so quickly. The idea of it was enough to make her eyes burn.
She took his face in her hands, guiding him back to her. “I don’t know what this is worth, but you could never fade from my life. Not now. Not ever.”
Elias smiled, but the sadness that still lingered kept it from fully taking hold. “It’s worth more than you’ll ever know,” he replied.
He opened his mouth again, but hesitated.
Almost like there was more he wanted to say, more he wanted to tell her, but something stopped him.
Leaning into him, she kissed him again, wishing for nothing more than to take away his pain and replace it with her devotion.
His hand drifted to her back before it slowly skimmed lower to grip her thigh.
Her surprised squeal split the silence when he pulled her on top of him, and he sucked in a hiss of approval at her wetness. She grinned when she felt him grow hard beneath her body, his hips moving against her with subtle urgency.
It would seem he was done talking.
“I’m not getting any sleep tonight, am I?” Cadi asked with a smirk.
Elias laughed and slid his hands over the curve of her ass to guide her into place.
“Not if I can help it.”
By the time the sky beyond the windows grew dusty and pink with the morning sun, Cadi had made the completely rational and levelheaded decision that she would simply live in Elias’s bed for the rest of her life.
She couldn’t stand the thought of moving.
Elias lay asleep behind her, the skin of his chest warm against her back with a protective arm draped over her to clutch her hand, as if even in his dreams he couldn’t bear to let her go.
His deep, slow breaths drifted across her shoulder, threatening to draw her back into the peace of sleep right alongside him.
But unfortunately, the realities of adulthood didn’t care about Cadi’s love life. It was Friday morning, the storm had passed, and she had to go back to work. Careful not to jostle the mattress any more than necessary, she scooted to the edge and lifted his arm to slip herself free.
Grabbing his hoodie from where it had been discarded the night before, she shrugged into the soft fabric, lifting the collar to her face to breathe deeply. Elias’s smell still lingered in the fibers, and she quietly made a note to sneak this particular garment into her bag before she left.