CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX #2
His posture visibly changed with each bite.
The tension evaporated from his shoulders, his face relaxed.
It wasn’t until she felt the muscles in her own back settle that she realized how much tension she had been holding on to just trying to keep Elias’s bear- and teenager-induced fury from spilling out onto the unsuspecting citizens of Fiddler’s Green.
She sipped her drink and made a face when the mix of sugar, grease, and carbonation blended together to form a brick in her stomach.
Any more of that and she knew that her body would quickly revolt in a way she was not interested in experiencing with Elias so close.
Turning around to lean over the edge, she brushed her hands together and sent a flurry of white powder down onto the waves.
As she pulled in a deep breath, she let the sea air fill her lungs, savoring the salty tang that settled at the back of her throat.
A gentle prickle skimmed along her skin, and when she turned, her eyes met Elias’s.
The fervor she saw behind them, the way he still managed to look at her like he was trying to see and memorize every piece of her, stole her breath.
She thought she would be used to that by now, but heat pulsed under her skin when her gaze flicked to his lips, only for it to stutter at the dusting of sugar that clung to the corner of his mouth. She pressed her lips together to fight the laughter bubbling from her chest.
“What?” he asked, his brows creased.
“You have sugar right …” She reached up and used her thumb to brush the particles from his skin. “There.”
Her hand lingered at his jaw, and a soft warmth began to spread up her arm. Elias shifted closer, and she saw a familiar flash of longing spark in his eyes for a moment before he turned away, bracing his palms against the rail.
Through every coffee date over the past week, his touches had just teetered on the edge of bold.
A brush of a hand, the touch of a shoulder, a gentle hug.
She knew he would keep waiting, and it meant the world to her that he didn’t push, that he read each of her signals with careful intent, but the slight tremble in his shoulders and the way his fingers flexed against the wood told her everything he would never say.
He was unraveling, and she held the thread.
“How’s work?” he asked, his voice strained.
Cadi huffed a laugh and shook her head at the obvious redirect. “Work has been good. Busy. Like always.”
“Did they give you any grief? For missing days?”
Her mouth went dry. After what happened, even moving from Sera’s couch had felt impossible, so going to work had been completely out of the question. When he lifted his gaze to look at her, the pain in his eyes gripped her heart like a vice.
“No,” she said, with a forced smile. “No problems.”
His thumb brushed the edge of his ring, but he didn’t look away from her. The weight of her own ring pressed against her skin, its comforting presence shadowed by the reminder of why it was necessary.
Elias’s low grunt of pain invaded the peace as his hand flew up to press his fingers against his forehead.
“Is it him?” Cadi asked. She recognized the symptoms, the telltale signs that Oneirios had just tried to pull Elias’s string. He nodded, and squeezed his eyes tight.
“We’re down to only once every few days,” he said once he’d caught his breath. “So that’s an improvement.”
Cadi watched him for a moment, unable to hold back the question that had been burning through her mind for the last week. “What did he say to you? That night.”
Elias’s eye flew open, his form going rigid.
“Nothing worth repeating,” he murmured as he looked away from her.
“Elias,” she said, taking a step forward to rest her hand on his arm. “Please.”
His entire body seemed to shake as he pulled in a breath before he turned back to meet her eyes. He studied her for a moment, and Cadi began to worry he may shut her down again, but instead, he nodded. “He knows you were in his office. He said he—he wants you for himself.”
She sucked in a breath as a chill raced the length of her body. “What? Why?”
A muscle in his jaw flexed. “Because he knows the easiest way to hurt me is by hurting you.” Elias took a step forward, and all doubt and fear was gone from his eyes, replaced with a resolute fire. “I won’t let that happen.”
She swallowed hard. His promise did nothing against the slow dread that crept through her like a poison. What had begun as a war between cosmic siblings, a battle for power and influence, had just become personal.
And she was the new target.
“Do we have a plan?” she asked, trying to hide the tremble in her voice. “Anything that will stop him?”
Elias tapped his knuckles against the rail. “Just what you got us. Sera says it’s everything we need. She wants to talk Friday.”
His gaze drifted to the water, like he was suddenly reluctant to meet Cadi’s stare. A cold fist tightened around her gut. He wasn’t telling her everything.
“You don’t agree?”
He shook his head, picking at a loose splinter.
“It just doesn’t feel right,” he said, voice barely audible above the surf. “These sigils that you find in his office lining up perfectly with what we need? There’s another layer, something we’re missing, and after what happened, I—”
His voice broke, and with it, Cadi felt a piece of herself break, too.
“I don’t know if I can be a part of this anymore,” he whispered.
Cadi straightened, her face twisted in disbelief. There was no way she had heard him right. After everything they’d already been through, and knowing what Oneirios was doing to their friends, to him …
“We can’t stop, Elias,” she said, leaning in to catch his gaze.
“I’m done living in the shadows just because it’s safe.
Other than my parents, I never had people in my life worth going through the hard shit for …
but now I do. And I won’t be the person who hides anymore.
Sera needs us. You need us. We can’t just disappear because we’re scared. ”
Elias’s eyes raced over her face, his lips parting as if he may argue or try to convince her they didn’t need to take the risk, that they would find another way. But he didn’t say anything. He just turned to face the water again and rested his forearms against the salt-stained wood.
For a moment, the crashing of waves against the pylons below was the only sound between them.
Cadi settled in next to him, letting the breeze dance through her curls, unsure of what she could possibly say that might offer him even the smallest bit of peace.
She felt him shift beside her, and his growing strain captured her attention before he spoke.
“Do you remember when I told you my biggest fear?” he asked.
Cadi nodded, swallowing against the dryness that coated her tongue. She would never forget that night in his apartment with his arms around her as he held her close to the warmth and safety of his body. A time before she had any knowledge of the gods and their plans. Before everything changed.
“You said it was being forgotten,” she murmured, “that nothing you do will actually matter.”
“Yeah. It was.” His voice was quiet. “But now, it …”
The smallest crack of his voice echoed on the air, cutting off his words before he could finish.
“Now it’s what?” she asked.
He didn’t answer right away. His thumb brushed his ring, as if weighing what the confession might cost him. Then, he pulled in a shaky breath and turned to face her. “Having to learn how to live without you.”
Cadi froze, his words hanging heavy in the air between them.
“For a while I thought I was going to have to,” he continued, “I know I’m not strong enough to do it again.”
She didn’t know what to say. There was no response she could offer that would fully silence the fear behind his words. So she stayed quiet. Stayed with him. And let the stillness speak for her.
The world beyond the pier drifted by without them until Elias let his head dip toward his watch. He hissed a breath and pushed off the banister, bringing their time alone to a screeching halt.
“It’s getting late,” he said, “I should get you back.”
He smiled down at her, though the torment in his eyes lingered. Cadi just nodded, and let him guide her down the pier in a silent agreement to leave the conversation behind them.