25. Wren
Hawk took my hand and towed me out of the greenroom, ignoring the few people that called after him. When we entered the hallway, I noticed that Charlie was still there, his face betraying a quick look of surprise as Hawk and I appeared before he quickly replaced it with his bland, stoic expression, falling into step behind us as we walked. We wove our way through the bowels of the arena, passing crew members who were hard at work disassembling the stage and packing all the equipment into large black cases which they then loaded on wheeled trolleys to be hauled to the next town.
The whole thing was rather impressive, and as we moved, I could see that everyone knew their job, doing exactly what they needed to do as efficiently as possible. It was like a well-choreographed dance where all the dancers were long-haired metal heads with faded tattoos.
“Phil!” Hawk called suddenly, dragging my attention from the busy work going on around us to an older guy who appeared to be directing traffic, so to speak. “Hang on a sec.”
“Hey, son,” the old guy said. “Who’s this you have here?” he asked, his smile wide.
“You pack up my baby yet?” Hawk replied, ignoring Phil’s question. “I need her.”
“She’s already on the bus, son,” Phil said, apparently knowing exactly what Hawk was talking about. “I know you like to have her with you when you travel.”
“Thanks, man. ’Preciate it.”
And with that, we were off again, this time making our way outside into what appeared to be the back parking lot. The space was packed with long-haul trucks and busses, but one stood out among the rest, its gleaming black and silver paint job loudly proclaiming who would be traveling inside.
Holy fuck. That was the Black Kite tour bus.
The wind howled across the parking lot as Hawk continued to drag me along behind him. It was so fucking cold, but Hawk didn’t seem to even notice, moving with long, determined strides toward the bus. I kept up as best as I could, glad that I’d worn my Chucks and not the stupid heels that Bri had tried to convince me to borrow. The door to the bus opened with a loud hiss as we approached, the driver giving Hawk and smile and a nod which Hawk also ignored.
Feeling bad, I offered the driver a smile and a wave, which he returned politely, before Hawk dragged me up the stairs and into the belly of the bus.
“Holy shit,” I breathed, taking in the insanity that was a rock star’s tour bus. It looked like it belonged on an episode of Cribs. The whole thing was sleek and black, from the carpet to the leather furniture to the freaking ceiling. Turning my head from side to side, I tried to take it all in, noticing all the fancy details that basically covered the entire space. There was a bar set up next to the couch, loaded with what looked to be real crystal glassware. The small kitchen space had granite counters and there was a booth style dining area which boasted a gorgeous wood table and even a vase with fresh flowers in it.
As if a guy like Hawk would notice if the Calla Lilies were fresh or not.
“Wait here,” he said, releasing my hand for the first time since we’d fled the greenroom. “I’ll be right back.”
Standing in the middle of the space, I hugged my arms, rubbing them up and down to try to ward off the cold. The bus was warm, but even the short amount of time we’d spent outside had chilled me to the bone.
“What the fuck?” Hawk’s startled shout caught me off guard, and I spun to see him standing at the very back of the bus, his body looming over the smaller figure of a woman who was just exiting what appeared to be a bedroom. “What the fuck are you doing in here, Tori?”
“I was—” she started, but paused when she caught sight of me standing awkwardly, unsure what to do with myself in the face of their confrontation. Her eyes narrowed, making me feel about two inches tall as she took me in from top to bottom. It wasn’t hard to see that this woman wasn’t a groupie. The fact that Hawk clearly knew her was one thing, but she was dressed like some kind of glamorous corporate Barbie doll. Her long red hair was sleek and well maintained and her outfit, an expensive pair of pants and a blazer that should have looked ridiculous but instead made her look mature and sexy and accomplished.
In that moment, I felt like a kid playing dress up in my stupid skirt and stockings, the streaks in my hair and my dark makeup just one more thing marking me as an impostor.
Out of the two of us, it was clear that I was the one who didn’t belong.
The woman took me in, her frown dissolving into a calculating smile as she smoothed her face and turned back to Hawk.
“I was just making sure the bus was stocked, is all,” she said lightly, and I could tell she was full of shit.
“In my bedroom?” Hawk asked suspiciously, but all she did was laugh.
“It’s not your bedroom, Hawk. It’s the band’s bedroom. I know you all use it when you bring your little friends back to the bus.” She glanced at me again, her judgmental look telling me exactly what she thought I was there to do. “It’s just that you boys had so many girls on here last night, I wanted to make sure you were all stocked up. You know as well as I do that this bus doesn’t run well if it’s low on booze and condoms.”
She never took her eyes off Hawk, but I knew her words were meant for me. She was reminding me in a very blatant way exactly what kind of guy Hawk was and what kinds of girls he typically spent his time with.
It wasn’t like I didn’t know. In a very broad way, I was absolutely aware of rock stars and their philandering ways. Every magazine I’d ever read and every website I went to showed me nothing but bands and girls, different girls every night, sometimes more than one at a time.
I knew.
Hell, the whole damn world knew.
But to be here, in this moment, when it had just been me and Hawk, and to have gorgeous, perfect Tori throw that information right in my face had my stomach feeling sour. Suddenly, I wasn’t sure I even wanted to be here at all.
“You need to stop worrying about what I’m doing with my dick, Tori,” Hawk snarled, and his anger surprised me.
“It’s my job to worry about your dick,” she snapped back, not seeming to be at all concerned about his wrath. She gave me another round of side eye. “You aren’t exactly very discerning these days.”
And that was my cue to leave.
Spinning on my heel, I turned back the way I had come, passing the driver who helpfully opened the door without me asking. I could hear Hawk call after me, but I didn’t stop, flinging myself off the bus and back out into the cold, dark Minneapolis night.
“Shit,” I muttered, glancing around. All of the busy crew members from before had disappeared, the trucks all loaded and the guys probably headed inside to join the fun. As I stared around, the door to another bus opened, this one not nearly as flashy, and Charlie stepped off, looking at me questioningly. He’d lost the jacket and tie, now just in his slacks and button-down shirt, but that didn’t make him look any less intimidating.
“You alright?” he asked, frowning.
Before I could answer, the door to the band’s bus opened again and Hawk was there, looking concerned. Tori stood just behind him, arms crossed over her chest as she shot daggers at the back of his head.
“Hey, wait. Don’t leave.”
“I think I better find my friend,” I offered lamely, my thumb hiking over my shoulder in the general direction of the arena.
“But I wanted to show you my baby.” Behind him, Tori scoffed, rolling her eyes, but Hawk ignored her. “Please, just come back inside.”
“Let her go, Hawk,” Tori insisted, her nasal voice grating on my ears over the wind.
“Get fucked, Tori,” he snarled in reply, not even looking at her. “And from now on, you’re not allowed on our bus unless I’m there. I’m sick of you sticking your nose where it doesn’t belong.”
“Whatever.” She flounced down the stairs, her long hair catching in the icy wind when she stood beside him. “I’ll talk to you when you’re not totally fucked up.” She walked away from him and headed my way, pausing when she reached me. “You don’t matter to him,” she hissed in my ear so that only I could hear her. “None of you matter. Tomorrow, he’ll be in another town, with another stupid bitch on his bus and in his bed, and he won’t even remember your name.”
Her words struck me like a punch to the gut, but the joke was on her; Hawk hadn’t even asked me my name, so he wouldn’t even have the opportunity to forget it.
She watched me, her eyes holding a vicious glint as she waited for her words to take effect. Little did she know that I was a master at hiding my emotions; it had become a habit for me over the last few years.
“He’s gonna break your heart, you silly little girl. It’s all he knows how to do.”
With that, she stalked over to the other bus, pushing past Charlie and storming inside.
I stood there, shivering in the cold night air, considering her words.
She wasn’t wrong, but the thing she didn’t realize was that I had no expectations for how this would go. All I had wanted to do was see my favorite band play live, and I’d done that. Meeting Hawk had been an impossible dream, so the fact that I was standing here, staring at him as he held out one hand for me to join him?
That was something I’d never in a million years have expected for my life, and there was no way I’d ever get an opportunity like this again.
Did she think I was here to fuck Hawk? Absolutely, she did.
But that had never been my goal.
Looking at him now, though, his hair blowing across his face as he waited for me to make my decision, I knew that might be his expectation. But something about our interaction so far felt different. I’d been hit on by guys before; I could tell when they really only had one goal in mind, and this felt like something more.
Glancing over my shoulder, I caught Charlie’s gaze and gave a soft smile and a nod. He looked from me to Hawk and back again before he nodded in return and went back onto his own bus.
Then I stepped forward, and took Hawk’s hand, lacing my fingers with his.
“Show me.”