28. Hawk
She was so fucking sexy.
The intriguing mix of innocence and hard edges was mesmerizing, and after that brief taste, I wanted to consume every part of her. Having her in my arms was a revelation, like she was made to fit there, all her pieces meshing perfectly with mine. I couldn’t wait to see how well we’d fit in other ways.
I probably would have gotten her there, too, if it wasn’t for the fucking line of people now making their way onto the bus.
“Where the fuck you been, bro?” Alex called, his arm around one of the groupies from earlier. “It’s not like you to leave a party early.”
“Had something I needed to take care of,” was all I said.
“I can see that,” he replied, his voice laced with innuendo. And, yeah, he wasn’t wrong, but he wasn’t entirely right, either. “Hello there, beautiful.”
I felt Bird stiffen in my arms at his words, the girl currently clinging to Alex throwing her a death glare as though Bird somehow threatened her claim. Stupid chick needed to realize she was already on borrowed time; Alex would be on to the next girl in the next town before this one could even wash all her makeup off.
I frowned, knowing that my time with Bird was just as limited, and for some reason, I hated that idea.
Reaching to the floor, I grabbed up my bottle of vodka, taking another healthy swallow. The idea of discarding Bird before sunrise wasn’t sitting well with me, but I didn’t know why the fuck that would be.
I always let them go. Why would this girl be any different?
Glancing at her again, seeing her sitting primly between my legs, I smiled. She was such a contradiction. Dressed the way she was, anyone would assume this was not her first rodeo. Most of the girls Charlie acquired for us for the VIP were seasoned veterans of backstage, some of them bagging rock stars like trophies, lining them up for display.
But not my Bird. She was as fresh as a spring rain, and the guys around her could smell that like blood in the water.
Eyeing up the room, I watched as the rest of the guys in our inner circle made themselves comfortable, splaying out in the living and dining areas of the bus, with other girls perched on their laps when the seats ran short.
I noticed Gavin standing awkwardly next to a chair, staring down at the girl I remembered was Bird’s friend, a puzzled look on his face. For her part, she was completely ignoring him, instead talking animatedly to the girl next to her, who was sitting on the lap of one of the roadies.
Last to enter the bus was Charlie, scowling at Victoria as she sauntered up the aisle before him. If I disliked Tori, Charlie fucking hated her.
I could feel her glaring at me, but I didn’t want to give her the satisfaction of knowing I had even noticed her; the woman thrived on that shit, and I was in no way wanting to indulge her bullshit tonight.
And to be honest, she was ruining my fuckin’ buzz.
The atmosphere of the small crowd was raucous, with drinks and joints making the rounds as everyone tried to wind down after the show. One girl, a skinny brunette in a pair of tight jeans, was proudly showing off a tattoo she’d recently gotten.
“Isn’t it just so awesome?” she said, holding up her arm and displaying the design inked on her inner wrist. “I got it in honor of my favorite band, Black Kite.”
Bird snorted lightly, and when I caught a glimpse of the tattoo, I could see why, adding my louder laughter to the mix.
“What’s your problem?” the brunette asked snottily, her glare aimed at Bird.
“Nothing,” she replied, shaking her head. “It’s just that you do know that a black kite is...a bird, right? Like, it’s a species of hawk.”
The woman gaped at her, her mouth and eyes going wide as her gaze darted back and forth between Bird and her brand-new tattoo.
A tattoo of an actual kite. A black diamond shape with the string and tail with little bows and everything.
I could see the moment it clicked for her, when she realized the connection. That my name was Hawk, and a black kite was a hawk, and her cheeks turned a bright shade of pink.
“I knew that.” She pouted, crossing her arms. “My tattoo is ironic, or whatever.”
“Of course,” Bird said, turning her head away to hide her giggle. “I love it. It’s super adorable and totally unique.”
The praise seemed to satisfy the girl, and she flashed a smile before turning back to the room and rejoining the party.
“That was nice of you,” I said, nuzzling my nose into Bird’s hair, loving the feel of her silky strands on my face. Everything about her was just so fucking soft, and I couldn’t seem to get enough of it.
“I felt bad. I didn’t want to hurt her feelings, and she was so proud of it.” Bird shrugged, her fingers sliding along the fretboard as she stroked the neck of the guitar. “People shouldn’t be made fun of for the things they like. The tattoo was cute, and even if it was wrong, it was well intentioned.”
I paused, my lips against the tender skin of her shoulder as I considered her words. She’d gone out of her way to make that girl feel better about her mistake. Selflessness like that didn’t exist in my world.
It made me even more grateful for the fact that I’d found my little Bird tonight.
“What the fuck is that?” Lewis shouted over the general hum of conversation. He’d been posted up near the bar, a girl under his arm—a different girl than the one he’d been fucking earlier, I thought—but when I went to answer him, he was staring at Bird, a shitty look on his face. “Tell me that bitch is not touching your guitar.”
“Hey,” I barked, sitting up straight and putting my arm back around Bird. “Fuck off, Lewis.”
“You never let anyone touch that thing. What the fuck makes her so special?”
All eyes were on us, and I could feel Bird withdrawing, physically pulling into herself, and my anger started to rise.
“Why don’t you worry about yourself for a fuckin’ change and leave us the fuck alone?”
“I’m just fuckin’ asking.”
“Well, fuckin’ don’t. Let’s go, Bird.” I gripped her by the hips, lifting her up off the couch and smiling as she squeaked a little at the sudden movement. Standing, I stepped out from behind her, all the bullshit of the last few minutes having done a fucking number on my boner anyway. “The bedroom’s taken,” I shouted over my shoulder as I used a hand on her back to guide her to the back of the bus.
“Hawk,” Tori called, and I paused, exhaling loudly.
“What?” I asked coldly, lifting the bottle to my lips and taking another drink without even turning to look at her.
“Can we talk for a moment? About business?”
She always fucking did this; had a tantrum about something personal, then pulled the ‘my daddy owns the label’ card and inserted herself back into my life under the guise of business.
And, unfortunately, her daddy did own the label, and as a result, I did have to fucking talk to her.
“Can it wait until tomorrow?”
“No.” She was such a fucking liar.
Rubbing one hand over my face, I shook my head, then ushered Bird forward.
“I’ll be right in.”
She stared at me, then looked over my shoulder at Tori before nodding and making her way back into the bedroom, still holding the Martin. Only when the door had closed behind her did I finally turn, finding that Tori had made her way over to me and was once again all up in my fuckin’ space.
“Listen, Hawk,” she cooed, running her fingers up my chest. I wanted to shrug her off, but the sensation of her touching me had me pausing, closing my eyes for a moment as I let it soak in.
Fucking Molly. I was gonna kill Ronnie.
“Why don’t we go over to the other bus? We can get away from all the noise and distractions and really connect, you know? Like we used to.”
Opening my eyes, I stared down at her, looking at the hopeful glint in her gaze and knowing this was a bad situation.
One I’d been in before.
I couldn’t let Tori get her fucking claws into me, not again. She’d been the cause of so much fuckin’ trouble last time.
“Not a chance,” I snarled, stepping back. “We aren’t going there. We will never go there again, so just fuck off.” My voice was loud, and I knew that everyone else was listening, but I was past giving a shit. I needed her to understand I was absolutely done. “When are you going to get it through your head that I don’t want you. I will never want you. So stop with this bullshit, Victoria, because desperate slut is not a good look on you.”
I turned to walk away, already missing my Bird, but in true Tori fashion, she had to have the last word.
“You are going to regret this, Hawk,” she snarled before pushing past Charlie and storming back to the front of the bus, scowling at one of the roadies until he stood and gave her his seat.
“I already do,” I muttered, reaching into my pocket for another one of Ronnie’s magic green pills. “I fucking regret everything.” Popping the pill into my mouth, I washed it down with another swig of vodka, ignoring Alex’s pointed stare as he headed my way.
“Hawk,” he called as I tried to turn away. “Dude, wait.”
“Fucking what?”
Alex circled me, coming to stand between me and the bedroom door, his faced etched with concern.
“You high?” he asked, and I looked away, hating the shame that started to crawl up my throat.
“Alex,” I sighed, trying to push past him, but he stopped me with a hand on my chest.
“No, answer the fucking question, Hawk. Are you high right now?”
“It’s just a little Molly,” I muttered, placing my hand over his. His skin was warm, and I could feel the hairs on the back of his hand where they tickled my palm. It felt nice. “It’s not a big deal, man.”
He studied me, his eyes searching mine, looking for the lie. It wouldn’t be the first time I’d lied to him about shit like this, but for once, I was telling the truth.
“You sure that’s all it is?”
“Other than this,” I answered, holding up the bottle, “and a little grass. Now, you gonna let me go see my girl?”
“Your girl?” he questioned, crossing his arms over his chest. “Considering how hard you’re rollin’ right now, I bet she feels like she’s yours, doesn’t she?”
He was right, but there was also something more to it.
I wanted to fuck her. Of course I did. I’d fucked a lot of women in the last decade.
But there was something special about my Bird, something that felt like more than just lust.
Even if that was the predominant sensation running through my body at the moment.
“I’m good, Alex,” I promised, and he nodded, accepting me at my word.
“Have a good night, Hawk.” He slapped his hand on my shoulder. “I’ll keep an eye out for that red-headed bitch. Make sure she stays out of your shit tonight.”
“Thanks, man. I love you. You know that, right?”
Alex laughed, his head thrown back, and the sound practically danced over my skin.
“I bet you do, you sappy fuck.”