32. Wren
It took me a moment to find my bra, but when I did, I scrambled back into my clothes, using the mirror on the back of the door to check my smudged eyeliner before steeling myself to head back out to the main room.
I needed some space, and while the bedroom was stifling—and it smelled like alcohol and sex—I doubted the crowded tour bus would offer any kind of solace either. I didn’t hate what had happened, but it hadn’t been the lovely, world-changing experience I’d dreamed about, either. Hawk hadn’t forced himself on me, but he hadn’t known I was a virgin, so it could hardly be his fault that he’d maybe gone a little rougher than I’d been prepared for.
Either way, I just needed out of the room. Glancing back at him, sprawled out on the bed, naked, the condom still in place on his quickly softening dick. I paused, unsure if I should do something or just leave him like that, but eventually I grabbed the edge of the blanket, throwing it over him before opening the door as quietly as I could and stepping out.
The bus looked exactly the same as it had before I’d disappeared with Hawk, except now it was cloudy with smoke. Sabrina was still there, a beer in her hand as she chatted with someone I didn’t recognize, Gavin still looking on from the shadows with a scowl on his face. When I entered the room, she looked at me, her face holding the question I knew she’d ask, and I nodded, offering her a smile as I made my way over to the kitchen area and snagged a bottle of water out of the ice bucket that had been placed on the counter.
“Hey, now,” came Lewis’s loud, grating voice. I turned, seeing him sprawled on the couch with one of the other VIP girls sitting beside him, her hand down his pants, jerking him off. “There she is! The newest member of the Holy Trinity Club.” Some of the guys laughed, but Charlie frowned, his eyes narrowed at Lewis before he looked back at me in concern. “How was it, babe?”
“How was what?” I questioned dumbly, causing Lewis to laugh even harder.
“Hawk’s dick.”
“Oh, please,” Tori snorted, uncrossing her long legs before standing from her seat and walking over to me. “Look at her, hardly a hair out of place and she can still walk. She didn’t fuck him. Hawk likes his women to have experience. To know what the fuck they’re doing in the sack.” She turned to me then, arms crossed and venom in her eyes. “This girl wouldn’t know what to do with a dick like Hawk’s if it came with an instruction manual.” The crowd laughed again, and I could feel my cheeks heating.
“Sounds like you have enough experience for all of us,” Sabrina called out, backing me up like always. “Maybe you should write that manual, seeing as you’ve probably been ridden more times than this fuckin’ bus, you crusty bitch.”
A chorus of low “ohhhs” came from the gathered men, and I could see Charlie try to cover his own smile.
“Who the fuck asked you?” Tori spat, her red hair flying as she whirled on Bri.
“The same person who asked for your loud and unnecessary opinion, I’m guessing.”
“Ladies,” Lewis cut in, ignoring the girl who was still trying to give him a hand job. “If you’re gonna fight, give us a moment to take bets. Tori here’s vicious, but this new chick looks like she might be a real scrapper.”
“Fuck you, Lewis,” Tori snarled, and for a second, Lewis’s bravado faded, hurt flashing in his eyes before he forced another smile.
“Any time, Tori.”
“No one’s fighting,” Charlie growled, and it seemed that his word was final. Standing, he made his way past me and headed to the bedroom, making me glad I’d covered Hawk up before I’d left him. I leaned back against the kitchen counter, opening my water and taking a big gulp as Sabrina approached.
“Hey, girl. You good?” she asked, setting her empty bottle on the counter and grabbing a fresh one. “I checked with Charlie when you guys disappeared together. He assured me that Hawk was a good guy, all things considered, and that you were safe with him, but I still kept an ear open. All I heard was music.” She bumped her hip against mine, a small smile on her face. “Did you make beautiful music with Hawk Jameson, girlfriend?”
“I did,” I answered, then bit my lip as I considered what to say. “Both kinds.”
“Holy shit!” she burst out. “For real?”
“Keep your voice down,” I hissed, looking around, but aside from a scowling Tori, no one was paying us any attention, and she was too far away to have heard anything anyway. “Yes, for real.”
“Babe!” she whisper-shouted, pulling me into a hug. “How was it? Are you alright? Tell me everything.”
“Honestly,” I said, shrugging. “It was alright. Fucking hurt, though.”
“That’s to be expected, girl.” Popping the top of her beer, Sabrina took a long swallow before she turned back to me, her eyes searching mine. “Seriously, though? Are you alright? He didn’t do anything I’m gonna need to kick him in the nuts for, did he?”
That right there was why Sabrina was my best friend.
“No, he was actually really sweet, for the most part.”
“Right,” Sabrina drawled, eyeing me over her bottle. “So that means you didn’t come, doesn’t it?”
“Bri!”
“What? It’s a valid question. Did he or did he not get you off?”
“He did first. With his fingers, I mean. But during the other part...I’m not sure.”
Sabrina gaped at me, her beer forgotten.
“You’re not sure? Woman, that is a goddamn tragedy.”
“I mean, it felt good.” And it had, before he’d shoved his massive dick into me, the things he’d done, the way he’d touched me, had all felt incredible.
“Good is not good enough.”
“Sabrina, it’s fine. Can we just go?” I asked, suddenly tired of the way Tori was glaring daggers at me. “I could use a shower.”
She studied me, taking one last sip of her beer before setting it down and straightening.
“Yeah,” she agreed, looping her arm through mine. “Let’s get the fuck outta here.”
Moving quickly, we made our way to the front of the bus, the driver helpfully opening the door once again. The night had gone from cold to absolutely fucking freezing, and Bri and I huddled close together as we headed away from the bus and toward the street, ready to look for a taxi and get to the shitty little motel we’d booked for the night.
“Wait!” called an urgent voice from behind us, and we turned to see Charlie jogging across the darkened lot, his arm raised as he hailed us. “Hang on a second.”
“It’s too cold for long goodbyes, Chuck,” Sabrina said, her teeth chattering.
“I know,” he grumped, his face looking carved from stone. “Hawk is, um, sleeping again,” he said evasively. “But when I talked to him, he said he wanted you to have this.” Holding up his hand, Charlie displayed the custom guitar pick I’d played with earlier. I took it from him, looking at Hawk’s name on the back one more time before closing it in my fist.
“Thanks, Charlie,” I said with a small smile. “For everything.”
“Listen,” Charlie said, running his hand across shiny bald scalp. “Hawk...he’s dealing with some shit right now, but he’s a good guy. Really.”
I stared at him, wondering why he was telling me this. It occurred to me that some of the girls who had been on the bus before me might have gone running to the press, ready to sell their story for a few bucks and a moment of fame.
That was why Charlie was standing in front of me; he was on cleanup duty.
“It’s alright,” I assured him. “I get it. I’m not gonna say anything to anyone.”
“What?” he asked, obviously confused. “No, that’s not—” He sighed, his frustration evident. “I’ve known Hawk since he was seventeen years old. The kid has a lot of shit in his life that he doesn’t deal with in the right ways. But for all that, he’s a good kid. When he was with you tonight, I saw a side of him I haven’t seen in nearly a decade. I guess I just wanted you to know that. To know that no matter how the night ended, he was different with you.”
I stared at him, Sabrina still shivering at my side, and thought back to the night’s events. The way Hawk had looked at me, held me while I played. The way he’d actually seemed interested in what I had to say. I’d had absolutely no expectations going into the night, and I was happy enough with how it had ended, even if it wasn’t quite the way the fantasy had gone in my head when I’d dreamed of meeting him over the years.
I knew Hawk was more than the way the media portrayed him. I just hoped he knew it, too.
Looking at the hand that held the guitar pick, I noticed the bracelet on my wrist, a black leather and pewter beaded creation that I’d made myself. Loosening the ties, I slid the bracelet off and handed it to Charlie.
“When he wakes up, give him this,” I said, offering the bracelet. “And tell him thanks.”
Charlie nodded, and that was that.