57. Wren
“Where are we going?” I asked, ducking my head as we drove through town. Grand Rapids wasn’t exactly small, but there were still too many opportunities to run into people I knew, people who would ask questions.
“I figured a bit of privacy was best, considering what we need to talk about,” Hawk replied, his hands tightening on the steering wheel. “We can eat at my place. Or, the place where I’m staying, anyway.”
“Good.”
“Yeah.”
The silence stretched on as we crawled through the mid-day traffic on the bridge, neither of us having anything more to say.
We were so pathetic.
In my head, I ran through the conversation we were about to have, preparing my questions and sharpening my accusations.
If I was being honest, I’d already had this conversation a thousand times. Hawk had just never actually been present.
No, I’d spent countless nights—countless angry, exhausted, melancholy nights—going over all the things I’d say to him if I was ever able to. How I’d tell him how much he’d hurt me, broken my heart at the way he’d so callously tossed us away. How he didn’t have to love me. Hell, he didn’t even have to like me, but none of that should have affected his treatment of Cooper, an innocent baby who deserved to know her father.
There were also nights when the sadness was the dominant emotion, rendering me a puddle of tears in my bed, whispering words of desperation, quietly begging the universe to just let him come to us. If he could only see her, I knew he’d care.
And now he was here, and my fear was a living, breathing thing inside me.
Would he try to take her? Would he be so cruel as to take the one thing in the world I cared about more than anything?
Or was he just here for a moment? Would he tease Cooper with his presence, then disappear back into the air, leaving her as heartbroken as I had been?
Well, he could try. He could try to take her and he could try to hurt her, but I wouldn’t allow it.
Hawk would have to go to war with me before I’d let him harm one hair on my sweet girl’s head.
By the time Hawk pulled the car to a stop, I was seething with fiery determination, ready to do battle. Exiting the fancy vehicle, I followed him up to the front door, laughing internally at the fact that he was renting Sabrina’s grandma’s house.
Because of course he was. He couldn’t have found some other random place, some house that I’d never have to go into again once he decided to pull up stakes and abandon us.
“Nice place,” I quipped, and he turned to look at me, his hand paused on the doorknob.
“Uh, yeah. It’s a rental.”
“I know.”
“It’s actually pretty great on the inside,” he added, opening the door, then stepping back to let me enter. “The owner is this sweet little old lady. Said her granddaughter painted it for her or something.”
“I know,” I repeated, crossing my arms and looking around. It had been a while since I’d been inside, but Maude’s place still looked exactly the same as it had the last time I had been over. “I helped her, actually.”
Hawk stared at me, eyebrows up.
“You know the old lady?”
“She’s my best friend’s grandmother. She used to make us cookies when we’d come over and play dress-up with all her old clothes.” I smiled, remembering those simple afternoons with Sabrina, wearing long gowns and gloves that went up over our elbows. “When Grandma Maude was ready to move out, Sabrina had the idea to turn the place into a rental property. I helped her decorate.” I’d spent three weekends in a row over at the house, covered in black paint and drinking wine while we attempted to make Sabrina’s vision a reality. Looking around now, I was proud of what I’d helped her accomplish. It was one of the first places she’d done on her own, from concept to execution, and it cemented the fact that she was headed in the right direction for her career.
“That’s kinda crazy.”
“That’s small-town life. You’d be hard pressed to find someone in this place that doesn’t know something about the person next to them.”
“Everyone’s a celebrity, hey?” he said with a low laugh. “That’s not much different from L.A. if you think about it. Except instead of spreading gossip by word of mouth, they rely on the tabloids to do it.” Running a hand through his hair, Hawk let out a breath. “Seems like everyone always knows my business, too.”
Before I could say anything, a sound came from the kitchen, and I turned to see a familiar face staring back at me.
“Charlie,” I said. “Long time, no see.”
Charlie offered me a sad sort of smile, but nodded just the same.
“Miss Blackburn.”
“How the hell do you know Charlie?” Hawk barked, his angry eyes narrowed at the older man.
“I had the pleasure of meeting Miss Blackburn once before,” was all Charlie offered, angering Hawk even further.
“And you never thought to say anything?”
“Say what, exactly?” Charlie asked, his voice low. “Up until recently, I had no idea of the significance of my knowledge. In fact, it wasn’t until I laid eyes on her yesterday that I was absolutely positive she was even the girl I remembered from that night.”
I watched Hawk, a muscle in his jaw ticking as he processed this information.
“You and I are gonna talk about this later, Chuck,” he finally said, pointing a finger aggressively at Charlie.
“Of course, sir.” His tone was sarcastic, but I could see the hurt in his eyes. Charlie cared for Hawk, and this tension between them pained him. “In the meantime, your lunch is served.”
Tossing down the dish towel he had been holding, Charlie stalked out of the kitchen, the front door slamming behind him as he left.
“Is he alright?” I asked, staring at the door.
“He’s fine. Now, come eat.” Hawk spat, pushing past me to head for the kitchen, and I frowned.
“You know, I’m not particularly hungry,” I deadpanned. “Seems I lose my appetite around arrogant jerks.”
Hawk stopped, tilted his head up to the ceiling, and blew out a breath. I stood there, arms crossed defiantly while I waited.
For what, I wasn’t sure.
“Bird,” he breathed, turning to face me with a pained look on his face. “I’m—this is hard for me.”
“What is?”
“This! Being here with you.”
The words hurt, even if I’d never let him know it. The fact that it was a problem for him to even be around me? No woman wanted to hear that kind of thing, never mind from the man who had fathered her child.
“I didn’t ask you to come, Hawk.”
“Yes, you did.”
“What? When?”
“In your letters,” he said simply, and my stomach clenched. “You said you needed me.”
“Hawk,” I said, gaping at him. “I sent that letter over fifteen years ago. That was when I needed you. Not now. Not when it feels like I’ve finally got my life together.”
“Bird—”
“No.” I cut him off. “I don’t know what you think you’re going to accomplish, being here now, but it won’t be anything good.”
Looking away, I took in the room we were standing in, the memories of the time I had spent in this house fighting for space in my head against the memories of Hawk’s hurtful words all those years ago. “I did what you asked of me, Hawk. I followed all the rules I was given to the goddamn letter. Every threat you made, I took to heart. I told you the other night I didn’t want any trouble, and I don’t. Please.” I hated the desperation that had crept into my voice, but I couldn’t help it. “Just leave us alone.”
“Threats? Rules?” he questioned, staring at me intensely. “Wren, I don’t have a fucking clue what the hell you’re talking about, but I think you should start at the beginning.”