61. Hawk
Iwas so fuckin’ nervous, I thought I might pass out.
After our talk—and after I’d reacquainted myself with the pussy of my literal dreams—I’d taken Wren to get her car from her office, then followed her back to her place. Charlie had agreed to wait at the rental house, his disappointment that we hadn’t eaten his prepared lunch lessened by the fact that Wren asked him to join us for dinner at her place later.
I tried not to be jealous of their easy camaraderie, even after all the years that had passed, but I failed. Wren seemed so comfortable with him, while she always appeared to be guarding her words with me. I knew it was a trust thing, that the bullshit lies that Tori had fed her had severely damaged her opinion of me, but I held out hope that it wasn’t irreparable.
My mother would tell me to let my actions speak louder than my words, so that was what I was gonna do.
In the meantime, I was about to meet my daughter, officially, for the first time.
Wiping my sweaty palms on my jeans, I sat in the cozy living room, waiting as I had been told while Wren went down the hall and asked Cooper to join us. I could hear them, their low voices just a murmur floating down the hall, and I wondered what she was saying. Was he telling her who I was, or did she plan to wait until we could tell her together.
I suddenly wished I’d asked Wren what her plan was before we arrived at the house, but I’d been so eager to get here, I hadn’t thought about anything else.
“I’ll be right there,” came the disinterested teenaged voice, and I felt the corner of my mouth kick up in a grin.
The girl was sassy, that was for sure. She reminded me of myself at that age. I knew everything there was to know, and no one could tell me any different.
Unable to sit still any longer, I stood, making my way around the tidy living room and inspecting the array of photographs and artwork displayed on various shelves and tables.
There were a few portraits and candids, as well as some sketches that I knew right away had been done by Wren, the confident strokes so familiar to me from the countless hours I’d spent staring at her envelopes.
There was also a ton of what looked like school photos, showing Cooper through the years, her hair in different styles, even one with her two front teeth missing. My chest tightened as I took in the proof of all the years I’d missed, all the little moments and milestones I’d never experience.
All the things Wren had been forced to do on her own.
I made my way around the room until I stopped on one photo in particular, leaning in to look closer.
It was Wren and Cooper, this time on what looked like her first birthday. Cooper had her hair in two adorably short pigtails, each one pointing straight up off the top of her head so they looked more like a pair of antennae than anything else. She was wrapped in Wren’s arms, the two of them seated at a table behind a cake covered in bright pink icing, a single candle standing in the middle. Neither of them was looking at the camera, instead focused on the cake before them where Cooper had both her fists buried, too impatient to wait for a slice.
Both my girls were grinning from ear to ear, looking like they’d never been happier.
I was glad, but I felt the loss of that experience like a shot to the heart.
“She’s on her way,” Wren said, and I spun to see her standing in the middle of the room, arms crossed tightly over her chest. “Apparently, you can’t just walk away from a video game like you could when we were kids. There are too many other people involved, I guess.”
“I guess,” I echoed, sounding as awkward as I felt.
Jesus Christ, I just wanted this to go well. I needed Cooper to give me a chance.
We stood there in silence, waiting on the whims of a fourteen-year-old girl, and I couldn’t think of anywhere else I’d rather be.
Finally, after what felt like forever but was probably only a few minutes, Cooper’s bedroom door opened and she came down the hall, head bent over her phone as her thumbs moved a mile a minute.
I was once again struck by how beautiful she was. She had her mother’s face, the delicate bone structure and high cheekbones giving her an elfin appearance, but she had my dark hair, only missing my gentle wave. Where I wore mine just long enough that it could tuck behind my ears, Cooper had hers flowing down her back, long enough that it nearly brushed her elbows.
She was incredible, and I couldn’t believe she was mine.
“’Sup, Mom?” Cooper asked, dropping down onto the couch, almost exactly where I’d been previously sitting.
“Coop, I need to discuss something with you,” Wren started. “Can you please put the phone down?”
She huffed, but after a few more quick movements of her thumbs, Cooper complied. When she lifted her head and saw me standing there, she sat up straighter.
“You.”
“Me,” I agreed, offering her a smile and hoping I didn’t look like a complete psycho. “How are you?”
“Fine,” she hedged slowly, her gaze darting from her mom to me and back again. “Am I in trouble?”
I choked, my fist coming up to cover my mouth as I tried to wrap my head around her answer.
“No, Coop. Of course not,” Wren said lightly, her reaction to Cooper’s statement much more chill than mine. “But it is important.” Wren looked to me, her expression hesitant, and I took a step toward her, hoping I could offer some support.
In that moment, I actually kind of wished that Alex was here; the guy didn’t know the meaning of awkward silence. He’d have blurted out something completely inappropriate to break up the tension, and the whole thing would have been easier.
As it was, I stood silently, waiting for Wren to break the news in a way she thought appropriate. I knew I was the outsider here, and I didn’t want to push my luck.
“Cooper,” Wren finally said, taking a deep breath. “Cooper, this is Hawk. He’s, um, well...”
“Mom,” Cooper cut in, her eyes narrowed at me, glaring, before she looked back to Wren. “What’s going on? Why is he here? Are you going to tell me he’s your boyfriend now or something?”
“No!” Wren barked at the same time as I said, “Yes.”
Wren shot me a glare.
“Cooper, no. Hawk is not my boyfriend.”
“Seems like he wants to be your boyfriend.” Leaning back on the couch, Cooper smirked at her mother. “Could be good, you know? You haven’t been on a date in a really long time. Auntie Sabrina said she thinks your virginity grew back.”
“Cooper!”
“What?”
“That’s not appropriate or even possible. And that’s not what’s happening here.”
“Well, what is happening here? I have homework, and my guild needs me for a raid tonight.”
I had no fuckin’ idea what she was talking about, but I couldn’t stop staring at her while she said it. Everything about her was fascinating, from the way she spoke to the confidence with which she behaved. I was beyond charmed. I couldn’t help but think about how much my mother would love her.
I fuckin’ needed this to go well.
“Your guild can wait, Cooper. I have to talk to you.”
“Fine.” She drew the word out long, rolling her eyes to the ceiling like it was the most inconvenient thing that had ever happened to her.
“Cooper, Hawk is someone I met a long time ago, and we’ve only just reconnected.”
Yeah, that was good. Reconnected. It sounded like we’d just lost track of each other, not that we’d been kept apart by a malicious harpy of a woman hell bent on ruining my fuckin’ life.
“Cool.” Cooper offered me an assessing look, and I felt myself straightening my posture under her scrutiny.
“It is cool. It’s cool because Hawk is someone that’s very important to me. To us, really.” Wren faltered again, and I reached for her hand, trying to offer some semblance of support. “What I mean is—”
“Holy crap, Mom,” Cooper cut in, her exasperation clear as she stood, phone in one hand as she gestured between us. “I mean, just spit it out already. He’s my dad. Big whoop. Can I go now?”
My heart stalled in my chest as her words dropped like a bomb in the living room. In the silence that followed, you could have heard a pin drop.
“What? How?” Wren eventually stuttered. “Cooper, how did you know?”
Cooper hesitated, her eyes cutting to the side for a second before she looked back at Wren.
Cooper hesitated, looking like she was considering her answer before she finally offered a dismissive shrug.
“I mean, anyone with a brain could probably tell. Just look at him. We have the same hair.” She turned her gaze on me, gesturing to the exact feature I’d just been contemplating. “Add in the fact that you’re kind of freaking out and you’ve never brought a guy home before. There weren’t a whole lot of options, were there?”
“I guess not,” I said, and she narrowed her eyes at me briefly before sliding her uncaring mask in place again as I watched her closely.
She may be acting like she was unaffected, but I could see the tension in her shoulders, the redness of her eyes.
Cooper was also freaking out, even if she didn’t want anyone to know.
“It’s nice to meet you, Cooper,” I said, extending my hand and taking a step toward her, trying not to take it personally when she took a clear step back.
“Yeah, well. You’re about fourteen years too late,” she said, and as she spun away from us, I saw the tears she tried to keep at bay spill over.
And I felt each one of them as though they were my own.