Chapter 35
Chapter Thirty-Five
SORROW
I put down the book when I see his fingers twitch. I stare at them, wondering if I’m hallucinating. When they move again, I jump to my feet and run to the door, yanking it open.
I spot a nurse, a couple of feet away from me, and call out to her. “He moved his fingers.”
She looks up at me before hurrying over. As soon as she’s close enough, I start babbling. “I was reading to him, and he wiggled his fingers. At first, I thought I was imagining it, but then he did it again. I don’t know if he was telling me he liked the book or to pick something else—”
When she lightly touches my arm, I shut up. “Take a deep breath, Sorrow, while I look him over.”
“Right, sorry.”
“Nothing to be sorry for. You’ve spent most of your days here over the last two months. Sometimes we want things so much we think we see miracles.”
I take a deep breath so I don’t snap at her. The woman is making it sound like I’m crazy. I take a step back and let her do her thing. She looks him over before calling his name. When she gets no response, she looks at me with pity in her eyes.
I know what people are thinking. They think he’s already gone, that his body is here but his soul is flying above us, sighing in exasperation as I read smutty books to him.
I can’t explain why I feel differently. Perhaps it’s because Wade was convinced he had signed a DNR, but no one has been able to find a record of it.
Maybe it’s the fact that he has been shot in the head and yet he’s still breathing and functioning on his own.
He’s being as stubborn as he can be and taking an extended nap.
I’m not looking for a miracle because I believe we’ve already witnessed one.
There is no way this man should be alive, and yet he is.
So it seems crazy to me that people are so willing to write him off.
“It happens, Sorrow. You just need to adjust your expectations.” She pats my shoulder as she passes. Dear sweet baby Jesus, are all nurses this patronizing, or just the ones who like to eyeball my boyfriend?
I shake my head and look back at Stephenson, gasping when I see his eyes are open. “Oh my God.”
The nurse turns at my gasp and rolls her eyes, but then looks at Stephenson and slips into professional mode. I fumble in my back pocket for my phone and fire off a simple text to Banner, telling him that he’s awake.
Worried that he might want some privacy, I back up so I can leave. Stephenson, whose eyes are still locked on me, starts to freak out, so I stop.
“I think you’re agitating him, Sorrow. I need you to step out.”
Torn, I take another step back, and he starts thrashing again.
“Sorrow!” she snaps at me.
Fuck this bitch. I walk closer to the bed and slide my hand into Stephenson’s before glaring at the nurse.
“First of all, I didn’t tell you to call me Sorrow.
And as we’re clearly not friends, you can call me Miss Wells.
Second, he wants me to stay. He’s getting agitated because you keep trying to make me leave. ”
She must have hit the call button. Before she can reply, the door opens and the doctor walks in.
“Hello, Mr. Stephenson, it’s good to see you awake.”
I ignore the talking and focus back on Stephenson. I feel something ease inside me, knowing he’s going to be okay. Yes, he’ll have a rough road ahead of him, but he’s done the hard part. His thumb moves against the back of my hand, making me smile.
It’s bizarre. A few months ago, if you told me I’d be worried about this man who both scared me and pissed me off in equal parts, I’d have laughed as I was running away.
As far as I was concerned, he made his bed.
He gets to lie in it. But life is never that black and white.
We all make mistakes and fuck up. It’s human nature.
Imagining a world with no forgiveness, though, that seems more terrifying than anything.
Not that I claim to be a saint. There are plenty of people rotting away behind bars who deserve to be exactly where they are.
But for some, redemption has to be a better option than persecution.
Stephenson made mistakes. He’s paying for them and likely will for a lifetime, but I refuse to hold his mistakes over his head while he atones. Whatever he has to do to get through the day is between him and his god.
I look up when I realize everyone is looking at me. “I’m sorry, I zoned out.”
“That’s alright, I was just saying we’re going to run some tests if you’d like to wait outside.”
I lean down and focus on Stephenson’s face.
“I’m going to step outside.” When he shakes his head, I cover both our hands with my free one.
“I’m not going anywhere. I’ll still be right here when they’re done, then I’ll come back in and finish reading to you.
Before you complain, know you stink and need a sponge bath.
We might be friends now, Stephenson, but we’re not those kind of friends.
And I’m not sure my poor eyes can handle what’s under that robe. ”
His lips twitch, his eyes sparkling with mirth. He’s slowly coming back to himself.
I release his hand and pick up the book. “Be good. We’re about to get to the part where Fox finds out Nemo is really a girl.”
He nods, and I take that as my cue to leave before he changes his mind. I step out into the corridor and let out a relieved breath before I slide down the wall and bring my knees to my chest.
“Miss, you okay?”
I look up and see Jeanette, who is by far my favorite nurse.
“Oh, hey, Sorrow, is something wrong?”
“Stephenson woke up.”
“That’s great.”
“I know, so why do I feel so weird?”
“I actually see it more than you think. Coming here, putting their needs before your own, changing your routines to make it work, ignoring the mental load in order to fulfill the physical one, you find yourself running on adrenaline with one goal in mind. Now he’s awake, there is no goal, so you’re cast adrift, and it’s more than a little discombobulating.
Give it time, you’ll figure out a new norm. You both will.”
I huff out a relieved sigh. “Thanks, Jeanette.”
“No worries, here.” She offers me her hand and pulls me up. “When was the last time you ate?”
I think back and wince. “I grabbed a banana on the way out the door this morning.”
“Yeah, that’s what I thought. I’m gonna grab you something from the vending machine. You make sure you eat something tonight, a real meal, or I’ll tell Banner on you.”
“Meanie.”
“You’re no good to anyone if you get sick.”
“Why do people insist on using logic against me. It’s quite rude.”
She chuckles and tugs me along the corridor before nudging me into one of the chairs. “Sit, take a few minutes to relax, and I’ll be right back.”
“Alright. And seriously, thank you.”
She winks at me and heads off to grab me some glorious sugar.
I lean my head back against the wall and let my eyes slip closed, replaying all the events that have taken place over the last couple of months.
I have so much to fill Stephenson in on, but I don’t want to overwhelm him.
However, I’m not sure where to start other than at the beginning.
After the shooting at the precinct, Tempest did what it does best in times of crisis: it rallied. We closed ranks around everyone, keeping as much of the national media away as we could to protect our own.
Price Security had all its members temporarily deputized, thanks to Wade. They even provided an office space out the back of their business for him to work from while the police station was out of commission.
It was back up and running now, thankfully, and as predicted, Wade had become chief. He still wasn’t sure how he felt about that. I know he missed being out in the thick of things. But either way, the town of Tempest took a collective sigh of relief, knowing it was safe in Wade’s hands.
New staff had been brought in. Though it was exactly what we needed, none of us were happy with how it happened, which cast a pall over everything.
Detective Smith was one of the cops killed, along with Officer Mallet, who was due to retire in a month.
Chris, who was the third officer hurt that day, took a bullet to the shoulder.
Thankfully, he was on the mend and already back at the station, albeit on desk duty.
Price Security had also been interviewing new candidates.
They were busy before they stepped up to help Wade, but things were reaching a point where they were turning too many people away, which annoyed Blake to no end.
I hadn’t met the potential candidates yet, but I figured there had to be a few good ones in the mix.
Everything had been done quietly as the town turned out for the funerals of the fallen officers. But life went on, and things had slowly started to return to normal as people came to terms with everything that had happened.
Another change to come would be the mayor stepping down.
He would finish out his term, as there were only two months left of it, but he would not be running in the next election.
I didn’t dabble much in politics, so I didn’t know who would be stepping up to take over, but I hoped it meant good things for Tempest. I guess only time would tell.
At least the new mayor wouldn’t have to worry about the Bannerman’s, other than Jake and Katy, obviously.
Price Security had done some digging. John and Leanne had relocated to Maine, where Leanne was in a treatment program at some swanky facility to help her deal with her grief.
I think whatever her issues are went far beyond grief.
If it weren’t for Banner, I’d say she was a “boy mom” to the extreme, but her obsession only went as far as Alec.
I still can’t figure out to this day what made him so special.
All contact was cut between Katy, Jake, and their parents, both of whom were still raw from the revelations involving Denny.
None of their issues were because their dad’s affair partner was a man, though it came as a shock to both of them.
The age gap, however, was something that didn’t sit right.
Denny was a year younger than Banner and clearly impressionable.
John might have committed no crimes sleeping with him, but morally, he preyed on someone far younger than himself.
Someone malleable and, whether he knew it or not, unstable.
As far as Katy and Banner go, if their father hadn’t messed around with Denny, he wouldn’t have blamed me for what came about and come after me.
That is something neither of them can forgive John for.
I keep my mouth shut on the subject. It’s not up to me to tell them how to deal with what they see as a family betrayal, even if I was involved. Instead, I let them work through their feelings while I focus my energy elsewhere.
One of those things being what to do with my old house.
After much deliberation, Banner and I decided to knock down the existing structure and use the space to extend the building we are currently living in, thereby doubling our garden area.
We spent a lot of time out back and thought, why not add a pool, outdoor kitchen, and dining area, as well as a place where people can sprawl out and lounge?
Work would begin in five weeks, once Katy shipped out to Fort Jackson to do her basic training.
Yep, that’s right. Katy enlisted a week after her eighteenth birthday, and we stood outside the recruitment office silently cheering her on.
It was hard for Banner. I could tell he wanted to wrap her up in cotton balls and drag her home.
But he sucked it up, and when she came out with a big smile on her face, he hugged her, told her how proud he was of her, and then took us both out for dinner to celebrate.
“Penny for your thoughts.”
I squeal, covering my heart with my hands as Jeanette laughs. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to make you jump.”
“No, it’s fine, I was in a world of my own.”
I take the Coke and the Snickers she holds out to me and thank her before tearing open the bar of chocolate and biting off a chunk with a groan. I didn’t realize how hungry I was until right now.
“So good. Thank you.”
“No worries, but I mean what I said about looking after yourself.”
“I know, I’ll do better.”
“We both will.”
I turn at the sound of Banner’s voice and smile at him. “Hey, baby.”
“Hey, yourself.” He sits down beside me and kisses me lightly before looking up at Jeanette. “Thanks for looking out for her. Things have been crazy for both of us, but that’s no excuse. I’ll make sure she’s taken care of from here on out.”
“Hey, no, this is my fault, not yours, I’m a big girl.”
“You’re my girl, and it’s my job to take care of you. I’ve not been doing a very good job of it lately.”
“Okay, that’s my cue to leave. Good to see you, Banner,” Jeanette says before giving me a wave.
I finish my Snickers as she leaves, before I find myself in Banner’s lap. He buries his face in my hair and breathes me in.
“Missed you.”
“I missed you, too,” I admit, putting my Coke on the floor so I can wrap my arms around him.
He tips his head back to look at me. “So, he’s awake?”
“Yeah. He was a little disoriented, but he seemed aware. He didn’t want me to leave the room, but I think the staff wanted him to have some privacy while they did whatever it is they had to do.”
He strokes my hair back from my face. “Happy for you, babe.”
“I know you don’t get it, my wanting to be here for him after everything. I’d be lying if I said I got it myself. It was just something I had to do.”
“I don’t need to get it. If it’s important to you, it’s important to me.”
“Have I told you today how much I love you?”
“Not yet, but the day is still young.” He grins.
The door opens, and the doctor walks out, looking around before he spots me and Banner. “Ah, Miss Wells, he’s asking for you.”
I scramble to my feet, nearly ruining Banner’s chances of having kids with my knee in the process. “You wanna come with me?”
Banner gets to his feet, shaking his head. “No, the man’s after an angel, and he’s found one in you. I think I’ll wait out here until you’re done. Then I can take you home and remind you who you belong to.”
“Promise?”
“You bet your sweet ass that’s a promise.”