29. Summer
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Summer
C onnor walks us to the bed and sits down with me in his lap. My hands roam over his chest, the absence of his steady heartbeat making me whimper.
“Summer?” Connor says, cupping my cheek and tilting my head up so my gaze meets his.
A sob catches in my throat. “I’m sorry, I just ? —”
He brushes another tear away. “Babe, you need to understand. You were my great love, but I’m not yours.”
“What?” I blink, the sadness quickly being burned up by something else.
Connor brushes another kiss to my lips. “It’s all right.”
“Connor, no.” I shake my head like it’ll expel his words from existence. “You’re my love. My soul.”
“No, I was your love, and deep down you know that’s not true. I was what you needed at that moment in your life.”
I shake my head, more tears spilling from my eyes, but these burn with anger.
“I gave my life for you to live. To love.” He brushes his thumb along my cheek. “There is no worthier cause.”
“I love you, Connor. I love you.” Even though the anger burns bright, there is only sorrow in my voice.
Connor sighs, pressing his forehead to mine. “You are so stubborn.” He chuckles and shifts so he’s lying down on his bed. Pulling me on top of him, he kisses the top of my head .
“I was supposed to be Mrs. Morningstar right now,” I whimper, brushing my fingers over his pecs, my attention catching on my naked ring finger.
“Babe. He’s out there. I wouldn’t have been able to keep you from him,” Connor says, looking down at me.
I shake my head and shift to lean on his chest so I can look at him, hating that I missed even a moment of studying his face. “I’m yours. I have been and will always be yours.”
Connor sighs. “You’re still not listening to me.” He runs his fingers through my hair, twisting the locks between his fingers.
“No, I’m not because you’re being crazy,” I say, shaking my head. “I love you, and I was going to marry you.” I frown at him. “You don’t want that anymore? You don’t want me?” I ask, the words seeming to claw at my throat as I speak them.
Connor buries his face in my hair, inhaling deeply, and he chuckles again.
“You are just as effortlessly adorable as you were when we first started dating.” He pulls back, looking up at me again, his face set in a relaxed smile.
He tilts his head for a moment as if listening to something.
His brows knit, and then he smiles again, that same blindingly beautiful smile that haunts my dreams. “I got permission to show you something.”
Connor sits up and leans back against the headboard, pulling me with him so I’m once again sitting on his lap.
He kisses my head and then waves his hand.
In front of us, images begin to flicker, like a movie playing in midair.
I frown, but then I hear a familiar voice, and the picture comes into focus, revealing a bride wearing a white dress.
“Ready, kiddo?” Uriel’s voice comes from outside the spacious tent.
The bride turns her head toward the door, and it’s my side profile I’m looking at. What is this? Some kind of sick joke? Showing me what could have been.
“What is this?” I ask, fresh tears sliding down my cheeks.
“Your future,” Connor says, absentmindedly playing with my hair.
I shake my head.
“Wow, you look beautiful,” Uriel says, stepping inside.
He is wearing his gilded armor, and while I know it is absolutely functional, it is a breathtaking work of art.
“But it’s not too late to change your mind,” he says.
His voice lilts with humor, but I can hear the serious note beneath it.
I watch as I roll my eyes and look back at the mirror.
The view shifts a little so I can see my reflection.
My skin is glowing, my eyes sparkling with?.
.?. life. For some reason, I can’t bring myself to look at the dress.
The pristine white glows in my peripheral vision, but I refuse to look at it or acknowledge it.
“Dad,” I warn, but there’s no heat in it.
“Dad is hoping to keep his only daughter. No one will ever be good enough for you,” Connor says in my ear.
“Connor, please tell me you’re out there waiting for me?.?.?.” I whimper, my eyes glued to the spell.
Connor kisses my head.
I take Uriel’s arm as music swells outside.
He leads me out of the tent, and while I am momentarily surprised to see that we are in a beautiful forest, I quickly realize it is perfect and exactly what I would want for my wedding day.
We stop at the end of the aisle formed by rows of chairs.
All the seats are full, and I watch enraptured as the music changes, alerting all in attendance of my arrival.
Everyone stands, and the view shifts to focus on the large archway at the top.
It drips with flowers, and standing beneath it, right at the front, is the groom.
He’s tall, broad, and strong, but when he lifts his head to look at me, his face is obscured.
“I don’t want to watch this,” I say, looking away.
“You have to, babe.”
“No.”
I look back at the spell and watch as I walk down the aisle on Uriel’s arm.
Happiness radiates from me, but it is the steady, unwavering sense of rightness and joy I sense within myself that tightens my chest with unease.
I look away again and shift to straddle Connor, my back now to the spell still playing behind me.
“It’s you I want. You. I want you forever.”
“Thank you, Connor,” a deep voice says from the spell. The near--familiar resonance tugs at something in me, making me gasp. “For getting her to me.”
My head snaps around, and I watch as I reach out my hand for his.
Standing before him, I am glowing with love, with happiness, with life.
The music ebbs, and soft sobs have me looking over my shoulder.
The perspective shifts again, and I see Farrah, dabbing at her eyes, her smile suffused with joy.
Connor stands beside her, a ghostly form with large black wings, beaming with pride.
My groom squeezes my hand, and when I turn back to face him, he pulls me close, kissing me passionately .
I shake my head and turn back to lean against Connor, feeling sick and trembling with sadness, anger, betrayal. My laughter dances across the room, filled with elation and desire. I flinch and close my eyes, trying to block out the sound, desperate to reject this future.
I look at Connor. “We were meant to get married.” I sob. “I’m yours, and I love you.”
Connor’s brows furrow, and he cups my face. “We don’t have much more time, babe. I need you to promise me two things.”
I whimper. “Con.” I tunnel my fingers in his hair, trying to hold him there, with me.
“First, I need you to take care of Rafe,” Connor says, lifting my chin.
“Rafe?” I blink, surprised by the change in topic.
Connor glances out the window, and I follow his gaze, noticing something streaking across the clouds like a comet falling from the heavens. When I look back at Connor, sadness lines his eyes.
“And second,” he says, looking back at me. “I need you to live, to love, and to not break off from the world.”
“But—”
“Summer, your mate is waiting. He needs you as much as you need him,” Connor says, brushing his thumbs over my cheeks.
“Connor?.?.?.” Tears spill past my lashes, the pain of this moment nearly overwhelming me.
“You have so much more life to live,” Connor says, brushing his lips over mine. “I’ll be watching over you.”
“But I don’t want anyone else.”
Connor smiles. “You will, and you should.” He kisses me again. “I love you. You remember your promises?”
I nod even though I didn’t actually promise, but the pain has become -agonizing. “I love you,” I say, brushing my tears away. “Con, could I have ? —”
His fingers cover my lips. “Babe. Your promises.”
I nod again, the tears streaming continuously now, and wrap my fingers around his wrist. He’s about to leave, and there is no convincing him otherwise.
This is truly goodbye, and I can’t waste it.
I pull his hand away from my mouth. “Thank you for loving me.” I sob.
“You were the best thing to ever happen to me. ”
“Stop making it sound like it was a chore for me to love you. It was as easy as breathing. Easiest thing I’ve ever done,” Connor whispers.
My hand tightens around his thick wrist, and I look away.
“Tell me the promises.”
I lock my gaze with his, trying to memorize the beauty of his eyes. “Watch out for Rafe.”
“And?” he prompts.
“Live my life.” I swallow the lump in my throat and qualify. “But that doesn’t necessarily mean with anyone else.”
“Babe . . .” Connor drags the word out.
“It’s the best I can give you, Con.”
Connor sighs and cups my cheek again. “You have an incredible future, Summer Tuatha De Daanan. I’ll be there watching over you.” He brushes his fingers over the halo on my wrist. “I love you, and I am always proud of you.”
“I love you. You saved me,” I say, leaning into his hand. “In more ways than one.”
The dream starts to rock, and I know it’s coming to an end. I can sense it somewhere deep in my soul, and I’m not ready. I’ll never be ready. Tangling my fingers in his hair, I kiss him deeply.
“It’s time,” he whispers against my lips.
“You have given me so much, Connor. I wish I could have married you, given you babies. We would have been so happy.”
Connor starts to fade. “It’s time to let go of the past?.?.?. I will always love you.”
“I love you.”
Then, with one last look at that heartbreaking smile, Connor Azrael Morningstar is gone.
He’s gone.