39. Summer
Chapter Thirty-Nine
Summer
I t’s been seven days since I’ve heard from the stranger. The last message that passed between us, was it?.?.?. a threat? A warning? I’m not sure how to define it. I’ve not felt him watching me since that night, and it’s been pure bliss. The lie curdles in my stomach, but I shake it off.
“Sum?” Alice says, pulling me from my thoughts. I look up from the book spread open on my desk. “We’ve got a problem.”
I stand up, my body tensing. I know it’s about Rafe. He’s improved enormously over the past week and can now stand and walk. He is still moving very slowly, and it’s effortful, but it’s something.
Alice steps farther into my room and closes the door behind her, obviously not wanting to be overheard. “So, I went to the headmaster’s office and then the alchemy lab.” She frowns. “We’re almost out of brimstone.”
“Fuck,” I curse under my breath. We had been very careful about rationing it, but as Rafe has begun needing more food to heal, we have used up our supplies quickly.
“What did the headmaster say?” I ask, holding out hope that, since he had sourced it once, he could do so again.
“He said he could get more in a couple of weeks.”
“Fuck,” I say again. After a few days of brimstone, we had tried a couple of meals without it, and the difference in Rafe was astounding.
He was weaker, experienced more pain, and the healing process slowed substantially.
The headmaster probably knows that it’s not strictly needed for the change, but as someone who knows and loves him, as his family, I know it very much is.
Seeing him in pain is one of the worst things I’ve ever had to endure.
“I know it’s not really required, but the transition will be so much slower and more difficult without it, especially since he’s not eating human either.” She pauses, and I am already shaking my head before the words leave her mouth. “Maybe we could?—”
“No,” I interrupt. Demons can consume mortal or immortal flesh, but according to my research, it’s difficult to switch back after consuming it.
While animal diets are what the majority of demons prefer, due to societal pressures, animal flesh doesn’t contain the same nutrients.
It will sustain a normal demon, but it’s not enough for a Fallen going through a painful transition and healing process.
Brimstone is like a vitamin that throws regeneration into overdrive, but it also acts like a drug.
That’s actually how most demons use it—recreationally.
It’s another reason it is difficult to obtain.
“Leave it with me,” I say rather confidently, given I don’t have any semblance of a plan.
Alice visibly relaxes. “I will ration what little we have left, but it won’t last us long,” she says before leaving my room. I hear her padding down the stairs, and I slump back down into my chair, trying to think of a plan.
It’s been a week and not only have I still not heard from the stranger, but I’ve also not found a way to get brimstone.
We’ve barely got crumbs left. I even went back to ask the headmaster myself, but he said he can’t visit Hell for another two weeks.
Pacing in my bedroom, I rack my brain for a plan.
I’ve spent hours researching brimstone, and I even called Luke to help me get on the dark Nexus, trying to purchase some.
He suggested asking Uriel, but given the tentative relationship between Heaven and Hell, it would be best for him not to be involved, given his standing in Eden.
Every lead has come up short, and I am starting to lose hope when a glimmer of an idea presents itself to me.
I slide my fingers over the halo on my wrist, tracing the lines of the smooth metal.
It unlocks Eden for me. Theoretically, could I?. .?. ?
The halo hums softly, Connor gently confirming my theory.
I gasp and bolt up from the couch. “Really?” The halo is not only a key to Eden but also to Hell, and I practically kick myself for not thinking of it before.
Heaven and Hell are similar in many ways, but also complete opposites.
I should have known there would be a weakness in the veil, a way to penetrate with this gift from Connor.
The halo hums again, and I look around. I don’t want to do this here.
It has the potential to be wildly destructive, and I don’t know enough about portals.
One of my biggest concerns is that I can’t be sure the one I create won’t go both ways, and the ramifications of that are terrifying.
While demons frequently realm walk, I don’t want to make access to Rafe any easier for Lucifer, and I imagine a ready-made two-way portal in and out of the house would make it very easy for him to take Rafe.
No, I’ll do this alone.
“Al, I’m going out for a bit!”
“Okay!” Alice calls from her bedroom.
I leave the house in a rush, but stop in the middle of the yard, not quite sure where to go.
The halo hums, and my head snaps toward the forest. I am not sure how the halo works, but it is clear that Connor wants me to go in that direction.
Knowing that he would never lead me wrong, I sprint toward the trees.
“You’re going to help me, right, big guy?
” I ask, brushing my fingers over the halo as I weave my way through the forest. It pings against my wrist in a quick staccato, and I adjust my course, following its lead, paying attention to every nudge when I’m falling off course.
Deep in the forest, the trees stop at the edge of a clearing.
Sunlight pours into the small space, contained by the ring of trees.
I wrap my fingers around the halo and cautiously step from the darkness between the trees into the warmth.
The halo hums once, and I release my grip on it to look down at it.
I watch as the metal turns dark, morphing from sun-glow gold to a bronzed honey tone.
I must be close if it’s reacting like this.
My shadow stretches before me, and for some reason, the sharp outline of it draws my attention.
As I watch, it shifts, and I tilt my head and stare.
It is mostly familiar except for the darkness forming around my shape, stretching above and to either side of me.
It’s almost like my shadow has a dark aura.
My frown deepens as my shadow continues to alter, something expanding from my shoulders.
Are those?.?.?. ? I lift my shoulders, and I can feel the phantom sensation of?.
.?. something. It’s nothing compared to what I imagine actual wings would feel like, but there is a dull ache across my shoulder blades, as if my shadow self can feel the weight .
I look over my shoulder and gape at the sight. Those are not angel wings at my back. They are as beautiful and dark as the night sky, and though feathered, they are the ghostly shadow of feathers. Cohesively, they look almost gossamer.
These are the wings of the angels of death.
Well, I asked him for help, but I’m not sure this will do.
I look down, considering my outfit of denim shorts and a sports bra.
I know they’re going to make me stand out.
Add wings into the mix, and there is no hope of my fitting in.
It is widely known that demons are leather-clad and heavily tattooed.
Which is interesting to me, given that everyone at Avalon wears their runes on their skin.
Demons have tattoos for aesthetics, or as far as I know, that is why they get them.
It is completely possible they have other purposes.
Perhaps there is a rune that will help me blend in?.?.?. No, there’s no time for me to research one that might work, and I don’t know any off the top of my head. I’m planning to stay out of sight, anyway.
The halo pulses, and I can feel the urgency in it.
Apparently, this is not the location of the veil, and I can feel Connor’s insistence that I move as the halo’s thrums become more powerful.
As I walk deeper into the forest, I try to work out how to harness its power.
The halo hums three times, and I stop, looking between two prominent trees.
They are angled outward, as if they are reaching away from each other, but their roots are intertwined in a tangle between them, proving they will never be truly free of each other.
The space feels hauntingly sad, and I brush my hand over the halo, seeking comfort.
The halo hums and starts to glow. I hold it away from my body because the light it emits is no longer warm and bright.
It is dark and ominous. I look at the trees, and there is a shimmer between them which disappears if I look too closely.
This is the gate. As I take a deep breath and close my eyes, I wonder if there is a story behind this place.
Forcing myself to focus, I delve into my powers, searching for the spark of angel power in the sea of my own dark, destructive ones.
I see the light pulsing like a beacon, and I dive deeper to reach it. I almost have it when a hand wraps around my arm, a rabid growl destroying my concentration.
“What the fuck are you doing?” the stranger snarls.
There is no surprise when I look up at his amorphous face, and I easily glare up at him. Two weeks with no sign of him, and this is the moment he decides to come back ?
He pulls me around to face him and braces his hands on my arms, shaking me. “Tell me. Tell me you’re not insane enough to go to Hell. Tell me you do not value your life that little.” His voice is deep with anger, but also fear.
“What are you doing here?” I growl back, shoving at his chest. To my annoyance, he barely moves, his feet remaining firmly planted on the ground.
“You are being an idiot. Tell me why. Why Hell?”
“None of your business,” I say, and turn away from him, stalking toward the veil.
He grabs my wrist again, stopping me. “You are my business,” he snarls.
I don’t have time for this. “I have to go to Hell.”
“Why?” he demands, pulling me roughly toward him, my body colliding with his.
I glare at him, knowing I have only two options here.
I can drop this and leave empty-handed, then try to come back later, hoping he’s not watching me at that precise moment.
Or I come clean. My instincts scream at me to tell him to go fuck himself, but this is bigger than me.
Rafe needs brimstone. There is no time, and I can feel Alice’s anxiety about it.
I can feel Rafe’s pain with the decreased dose.
“I need to do this for Rafe. He needs brimstone.”
I feel him watching me, his grip on my wrist tightening and relaxing a few times as he thinks through what I’ve said, also waging a war in his own mind. The silence stretches loudly between us before he finally speaks again.
“Ask me.”
I blink, confused. “What?”
“Ask me to take you,” he growls, his grip bordering on pain as he grows more impatient.
Despite the feel of the bones in my wrist grinding together beneath his grip, I give him a bored look. “I don’t need you to take me.” Even I can hear the petulance in my voice, but there is something so vindicating about not needing him.
He scoffs harshly. “You think you can fake an angel of death?” he asks, the derision in his voice making me bristle. “You’re fluent in Infernal? And I don’t just mean the runes, but the actual language?”
Perhaps the wings would help me fit in more than I thought, though I doubt angels of death wear cut-off denim. Doubt burrows its way through my newborn confidence. “Well, no, but?— ”
“With your tiny little denim shorts and baby pink sports bra? You think you’ll fit in with the leather-clad demons?”
“I—”
“With your face absent of all makeup? Your hair not styled? Do you know anything about demons? Their culture? Trends?—”
“Who cares?” I ask, interrupting him this time. He’s psyching me out. “None of that matters. I’m just going to get in, get the brimstone, and get out of there. So let go of me.”
“Are you even aware that time works differently down there? Have you runed yourself to ensure your body and mind stay on this realm’s timeline? Do you even know where the brimstone you are so desperately seeking will be?” he continues with his interrogation.
Fuck. I did not plan this at all, and I hate that he’s right. But he is not coming with me. I’d rather eat my own eyeballs.
“I’ll find it,” I say, but I’m much more hesitant, especially considering I didn’t realize that time runs differently in Hell.
He slides his free hand to my lower back and pulls me against him. “Ask me, princess,” he says, the timbre of his voice changing, deepening, becoming cajoling and seductive. His hand against my bare back makes my skin prickle in a way that’s not altogether terrible.
“I?.?.?. I?.?.?.” I swallow hard a couple of times, trying to free whatever is lodged in my throat. Fuck.
He doesn’t move, doesn’t speak. He just holds me close and watches me try to figure a way out, and I’m not sure how, but I can almost feel his heat seeping into me.
Is it because of our proximity to the veil and the exposure to the magic required to secure it in this realm?
Though I don’t feel weak, the opposite, in fact.
“I can do it myself,” I say stubbornly, but my voice no longer holds any surety or confidence. “I don’t need you,” I throw out, doubling down, but it does fuck-all except make my initial argument less believable.
He splays his hand against my lower back and fits me tighter against his massive, solid form. He releases my wrist and brings his other hand up to cup my face, brushing his thumb along the curve of my cheek, and my traitorous head tilts a little for him.
“Ask me to help you. To keep you safe.” His voice is inviting, and I feel like a snake being charmed, coaxed from the safety of my basket .
My lips part as my breath hitches, and I feel myself bending toward him.
The halo hums, pulling me back to myself, but I can sense that Connor is gently urging me to accept his protection.
I bristle at being ganged up on, and I clear my throat, pulling away from him and ignoring the pang of loss that stabs at me as his hands fall away.
“Let’s just fucking do this,” I grumble, turning away from him to look at the trees again.
Now, instead of sadness radiating from them, I feel a sort of intimacy.
I’m desperately trying to get away from the stranger, but my roots are tangled with his.
If I could, I would rip every single one of them from the ground in order to be free of him, but this isn’t about me.
This is about Rafe.
Rafe needs me, and so I will endure.