65. Summer
Chapter Sixty-Five
Summer
F ury surges through me as I glare at Max. He punched Rafe, provoking him for no reason. He put himself in danger for no reason, yet he managed to hold Rafe without even leaning into the berserker.
Max’s eyes are locked on mine, the smirk on his face deepening as he sees my irritation. “Rafe. Wait for me in the sparring room. Summer, my office,” he says, not waiting for either of us to respond before disappearing into his office.
I glance at Rafe, checking that he’s all right. He is scowling, but his eyes seem to sparkle a little as he walks into the sparring room. When he’s safely in there, I storm into Max’s office, ready to rip him a new asshole.
“Are you a fucking—?” Max grabs me and yanks me against him. His lips slam down onto mine, stealing my admonishment. I lose myself in the kiss for a long moment, but my annoyance won’t be denied, and I pull back. I slap my hands against his chest. “What was that?”
“We both know you don’t want to talk about that right now,” he says, tangling his hand in my hair and kissing me again.
I moan, and Max picks me up with one arm.
This is so wrong, yet I melt into the kiss.
Max carries me across the room and swipes his arm over his desk.
Distantly, I am aware of everything crashing to the floor.
Sitting me on the edge, he makes quick work of both of our shorts before rolling on a condom and burying his cock in me to the hilt in one quick thrust. He swallows my moan of pleasure, and I anchor myself by digging my nails into his shoulders.
He bucks his hips against me, and the desk groans beneath us .
“Max?” I pull back to look up at him, that green now visible in his eyes. I need something from him. I crave something from him, and I brush my fingers down his arms. His muscles are bulging with the effort to keep the berserker down. “Don’t hold back,” I say.
Max doesn’t hesitate. Green flashes through his veins, and his body doubles in size as he lets the berserker come out to play with me for the first time.
I cry out, and he grips my hips, lifting my ass from the desk.
His thrusts grow brutal, and I revel in them, knowing that every single place he touches is going to bruise.
“Fuck.” I grab his face and pull him to me, kissing him savagely.
I jerk forward as the desk slams into the wall, but I don’t care, and neither does Max.
“Harder,” I snarl, needing even more, but not really knowing what I need.
Max obeys, and I throw my head back from the pleasure, but something is still missing. I growl in frustration, but my toes curl anyway as I reach my release. It soars through my entire body, and Max roars into my mouth, coming at the same time.
Max’s body shrinks again, and he buries his face into my neck as I quiver from my orgasm, but when he brushes his nose against my pulse, I tense. Is he?.?.?. nuzzling me?
Absolutely not.
I shift, and he pulls back, giving me a lazy, satisfied smile. “I’m starved.”
I roll my eyes. “Rafe is waiting for you,” I remind him.
Max curses and pulls out of me. He deals with the condom and grabs a protein bar. “Not my fault that someone was giving me fuck me now eyes.”
I blink. “Well, it sure as hell wasn’t me,” I say, pulling my shorts back on.
Max takes a healthy bite of the protein bar, his eyes narrowed on me as he chews. He walks over to me and playfully bites me on the cheek. “Liar.”
I bristle, so sick of everyone calling me out for being a liar. Why can’t I just live in my own little land of delusion? Isn’t that the only pro of having a dead fiancé? People should just accept your delusional state.
I swat at him, and he pinches my ass.
Max isn’t playful. Why is he being playful? It might be time to put some real distance between us. Even from that small act, I can feel unease skittering through me. I flip him off as I leave his office, heading back to the treadmill to finish my workout .
Rafe and Max spar for an entire hour, and I try to focus on my own workout, but I find myself checking in on them every thirty seconds.
Last night, when I got home and found Rafe bleeding again, I was worried that he had taken a huge step back in his recovery, but he is healing much more quickly.
I think he just needs to be careful in how he chooses to exercise.
Their workout looks brutal, and more than once, the whole gym quakes as they are slammed into walls or the floor.
At one point, Rafe throws Max into the wall full of weapons, and they all crash to the mats.
I monitor to make sure Max’s eyes never even show a hint of green.
They don’t, and it’s borderline impressive how strong he is even without the berserker.
Max offers a hand to Rafe, and he pulls him up.
I quickly avert my eyes as they walk toward the door of the sparring room, not wanting it to seem as if I’ve been keeping heavy tabs on them.
I know Max has already caught me. We locked eyes a couple of times as they trained, but I don’t want Rafe to know I am hovering.
Both of them are sporting various bruises, and Rafe has a split lip.
I sweep my gaze over him, noting all his injuries.
Worry curls in my stomach, but then Rafe smiles, and it might be the most genuine smile I’ve ever seen from him.
The sparkle that was in his eyes after Max proved he could restrain him is even more pronounced.
Rafe walks to me and slings his arm around my shoulder. He seems so at ease.
“You good?” I ask, lifting my towel to wipe the blood off his lower lip gently.
He grins and nods. “I’m good.”
“Good.” I smile back.
“Max is a dick,” Rafe says, his voice full of humor.
“A dick who kicked your ass,” Max says, smiling broadly. He’d obviously enjoyed it too.
There’s something about his arrogance, about the way he helped Rafe, that makes my stomach flutter a little.
No! I need to put distance between us, not get all hot and bothered.
“And I will again,” Max says to Rafe before winking at me. “You guys are good to come back, at least once a day. I’ll close off the gym in the mornings,” he says, his eyes lingering on mine. They’ve darkened significantly, and I imagine mine have too .
“Right.” I clear my throat and look up at Rafe. “We should go.”
Rafe nods, and Max slaps him on the shoulder as we leave. Of course they already have a bro language.
We walk in silence for a while before Rafe breaks it. “So you and the berserker?” he asks.
I tense. This isn’t something I want to discuss with anyone, let alone -Connor’s brother. Will he be angry with me? Call me a whore?
“Are friends. Yes,” I say.
“So, fun fact about demons, specifically Fallen. We hear everything. ”
My stomach drops, and I refuse to look at him, afraid that I will see the disappointment in his eyes. I don’t think I can handle losing him or the way he loves me.
Rafe bumps my shoulder. “Summer.” I glance at him. “It’s good.” He shrugs, looking ahead again. “You look better than you did in Eden.”
“So do you,” I say softly, relief relaxing my muscles.
“I’m not fucking a berserker though.” He snickers, throwing a side-eye smirk at me.
“That was the last time,” I say, crossing my arms. How many times can I say that?
“Why?” Rafe asks. “It’s not serious, right?”
“No,” I reply, and I can feel the commitment-phobe in me raise its hackles at the suggestion that it could be anything but just sex.
“Then who cares?” he asks with a small shrug.
Rafe is so nonchalant that it makes me wonder about his past. He implied that troubling things had happened when he was a kid.
Something bad enough that Connor had to take control of the situation, but had he dated since then?
Connor never mentioned it, and with the exception of Rafe and Luke, the other Morningstars are all such Lotharios.
They’re passionate males, and I wonder if, beneath the pain, Rafe is too.
“I care,” I whisper. “I’m not ready, Rafe.”
Rafe wraps his heavy arm around my shoulders and pulls me against his side, kissing my head. “No one ever is,” he says, as I tuck myself against him.
I glance at him as we walk in silence. He has so much to give, and I wonder what he is looking for. What kind of being would it take to get past his defenses?
“Thanks,” Rafe says, breaking the silence again. “For making me go. ”
“Thanks for trusting me.” I smile. “I love you, Rafey.”
Rafe rolls his eyes. “You’re a sap.”
I elbow him lightly in the ribs.
“I love you too,” he grumbles, and I lean against him.
We arrive home and head straight to the kitchen for some water.
“He’s got a reputation, you know,” Rafe says.
I blink and put my glass down. “Who?”
“Max.”
I roll my eyes. Are we still talking about this?
“He’s a notorious player. Many have tried to pin him down, and many have failed.”
“Rafe, what do you think is happening here?”
“I think my sister looks less dead since she’s started hooking up with someone, but she’s being stubborn because she thinks it’s going to turn into some lifelong commitment.”
“I love Connor,” I say, my heart squeezing with the physical reality of the statement. But there is also a nugget of my inner truth that I can’t ignore. The stranger makes me feel alive.
Rafe nods. “I know. I also know that this is how you and Connor started. You started sleeping with him, and he wore you down until you fell in love with his stupid self. But this is different.”
“How?”
“Max isn’t Connor,” he says. “But also, you are a very different person than you were when you met Connor. You have a better idea of what you want now.”
“I want Connor,” I say with a shrug.
“Sum, he’s not coming back. You are free of any commitment you made to him,” he says, and while I know it is the truth, it still hurts to hear.
I brush my finger over my empty ring finger, and I have the urge to check on the ring sitting next to my sprig in my bedside drawer.
Another memory. Another sliver of my past. Two of my most important possessions side by side in the drawer of grief.
“But—”
Rafe pulls me into a hug. “We’re moving on.”
“I don’t want anyone else, Rafe,” I say, my voice hitching and my stomach curdling a little .
“You don’t have to. We both just have to stop standing still.”
“We’ll move forward together,” I say, and Rafe nods. I’m not sure he -realizes how much he needed this today. He needed to see that his life isn’t over, to know that it might be lighter in the future.
I take a drink of water before I ask. “Do you think maybe you’ll start dating?”
“Maybe,” he says, and the answer surprises me. I expected an immovable no .
I smile. “Good. You should. You know, there is a whole club of girls who thirst over demons.” I think for a moment. “I believe it’s called Horny for Horns. ”
Rafe’s brows draw in something close to horror. “I don’t think I’m quite ready for that, but maybe I’ll be more open to meeting someone.” He gives me a pointed look. “And so should you.”
I roll my eyes. “I’m more open to it than you, unless you’ve fucked some random female since you fell?”
“That’s none of your business,” Rafe says, giving me a reproachful look.
“This is the first time you’ve left the house since you fell, so?.?.?.”
“I have four brothers who all tried setups and blind dates. I like to keep this shit private.”
“Have you ever dated?” I ask, quirking a brow.
“What part of private do you not understand?”
I glare at him. “The part where you’ve just spent the last thirty minutes giving me shit about my personal life.”
Rafe narrows his eyes, and I meet his glare. “No. It’s not something that interested me,” he finally says.
Past tense?
“And now?” I ask.
He shrugs. “I don’t know. I’ve never felt drawn enough to anyone to pursue it.”
“You’ve never had a crush?”
Rafe thinks for a moment. “No.”
“Huh.”
“Is it really that odd?”
“All of your brothers are just so?.?.?. sexually charged,” I say with a shrug.
Rafe grimaces. “Never say that to me again. Please. ”
“It’s true.”
Rafe shakes his head as if trying to rid himself of the thought. “Things are different now, so who knows what’ll happen.”
I smile at the small glimmer of hope in his voice.
“Want to force Alice out of bed to make us breakfast?” I ask, knowing we are both at our limits when it comes to talking about matters of the heart.
“Absolutely,” Rafe replies, grinning wickedly.
We creep upstairs, and I jump on top of Alice while Rafe clangs a couple of pots together.
Alice screeches, trying to hide from me and from the noise. Yanking the covers from her, I smother her in kisses and tickle her.
Alice squirms. “I hate you both,” she grumbles.
I keep kissing all over her face until Alice shoves me off with a snarl and sits up. She glares at us both, her hair sticking up at all angles.
“Rafe, tell Alice what we did this morning,” I say, grabbing her pillow and tossing it at him.
“Why do you make it sound like we got a good grade and we want her to put it on the fridge?” he asks, batting the pillow back with the pot.
“You two break another pillow, and I will sic Steve on you,” Alice says grumpily.
I glare at him. “Shut up. It’s a big deal, Rafe.”
Rafe rolls his eyes. “We went to the gym.”
Alice blinks, rubbing her eyes. “You went outside?” she asks.
“Our little demon baby!” I smile brightly, full of joy, and Alice beams.
Alice stands on the bed and launches herself at Rafe. He drops the pots, barely managing to catch her. She clings to him, hugging him tightly. I stand and wrap my arms around them both. Rafe tolerates it for only a moment before he starts to squirm in discomfort.
“Enough,” he says, trying to get out of our hold. I press a kiss to his cheek, and Alice unwraps from him, landing nimbly on the floor.
“Okay, this calls for waffles!” Alice says, and Rafe and I cheer.