73. Summer
Chapter Seventy-Three
Summer
“ A nd every fucking second, I wish it was you who died.”
Then the silence hangs heavy between us. My anger evaporates into nothing. Regret sinks its claws into me, slicing deeper the longer I look at him. He just stares back at me.
It is a lie. A lie. A lie.
I want to pull it back, to unspeak the words. My whole body knows how wrong they are. What have I done?
The stranger slowly lifts his hand and brushes a stray tear from my cheek. Another falls in its place, but this time, he doesn’t brush it away, because he is gone.
My hands shake, and I look down at them.
What should I do? What have I done? I’ve said worse to him, yet this feels different.
His pain was something I thought I wanted, but this hurt drifted around me, enveloped me, and it continues to linger.
I’ve been lying every day since I met him, but this one made my soul scream, rejecting even the thought of his death.
“And every fucking second, I wish it was you who died.”
No, no, no, no, no.
He’s gone. This is what I want. This is what I?.?.?.
Fuck.
The lies swirl around me, and I feel suffocated by them.
Not just the ones I’ve worn like armor, but the ones I’ve used to protect my heart too.
Now they tighten around me, and I can’t breathe.
Isn’t this what I wanted? Him to go? To wound him so deeply, he left, and along with him, the pull of my power to his?
If so, then why does this feel so wrong?
My words were cruel, and I am struggling to swallow this lie.
I turn and push into a run, begging for some clarity.
My chest aches, my limbs ache, my heart aches.
As I draw near the house, the pain worsens, but then I hear the one thing that can reach me through my panic.
A scream. A piercing scream. The piercing scream of my best friend.
My mind clears, and everything disappears but the need to get to her.
I sprint to the house and burst through the front door.
“Alice?” I call, a new panic setting in, the adrenaline coursing through me.
I look around the living room, but there is no sign of a home invasion, so I hurry through to the kitchen. My heart is beating so fast in my chest that I think it might explode from the strain, but then I see her, dancing on top of the counter.
She is perfectly well, clutching an envelope to her chest. I blink and look at Rafe, who shrugs, equally confused.
“Alice, what are you—” Rafe asks, but another excited scream from our vampire cuts off his words.
“What is going on?” I ask, struggling to catch my breath, not just from the exertion but from the array of emotions I’ve barreled through over the last couple of hours.
“She’s lost her mind!” Rafe says, genuinely concerned.
I cover my ears when she screams again, waving an envelope toward Rafe and me. Her lips are moving like she’s saying words, but she’s shrieking so loudly that cats would struggle to hear her.
“What do we do? Call the nurse?” I ask, glancing at Rafe, afraid to take my eyes off my best friend.
“We have been blessed!” Alice shrieks again, but this time her words are a little more audible.
“Or an exorcist,” Rafe quips, flinching at the pain in his ears.
I move closer to Alice, who has jumped off the counter, and I grab her arms, shaking her slightly. “Alice. Are you having a psychotic break?” I ask, emphasizing every word.
“We have been blessed by the party gods!” Alice says, waving the envelope in my face.
I grab the paper from her and pull out an invitation. I frown as I look over the elegant script. “What’s All Souls? ”
Alice screams again, and one of the windows actually cracks.
“The fuck we’ve been invited to All Souls,” Rafe says dubiously, snatching the invitation from me.
I blink, and Alice is grinning so widely I’m worried her cheeks are going to split.
“Okay. Again, what is going on?” I ask, and Alice opens her mouth to scream. “No.” I cover her mouth. “No screaming.”
Rafe turns the invite over and back again. “It’s the most exclusive event in the realms. Zach and Zane formed their party council to get invited to this.”
Alice bats my hand away. “Blessed!” Alice yells and starts dancing again.
“So it’s a party?”
Alice grabs the invitation from Rafe and cradles it to her chest, rocking slightly. “It is the party, Sum. It’s completely exclusive. Invite only. It moves around every couple of years. No one has any idea who runs it.”
“Okay?”
“We’ve been invited!” Alice squeals.
“Okay, but?.?.?. why would we have been invited?”
“That’s what I’m wondering too,” Rafe says, prying the invite away from Alice. “But also, I’m named on this invite. I don’t go out.”
“Who cares why ?” Alice asks, looking between the two of us like we have sprouted multiple heads and she can’t believe how stupid we still are.
“You’re not curious?” I ask. “We’re just random sophomores.”
“Summer, we have been blessed! And! It’s in Paradis! The only island resort in Atlantis!” I just stare at her blankly. Alice blinks at me when I don’t react. “Summer! This is a big fucking deal!”
I exhale. “Okay. I’m excited!” I say, though I’m not sure I’m totally convincing.
After another twenty minutes of screaming and listening to Alice make plans, I retreat to my room to bask in my loneliness. I wear a cape of lies, and this is the consequence.
I have never felt so alone, and it’s all my fault.
Even Connor is completely silent as if he is as disappointed in me as I am.