Chapter Nineteen
Harrison
A few months later, I was doing well enough to head back to school and start the next semester. I was glad not to be behind in coursework, since I’d been able to complete my fall semester classes online.
Being back on campus felt amazing. It was like I’d worked hard for something and finally achieved it, which I guess I had.
I was still walking with a limp and working with the campus rehab facility to try to minimize it or make it go away entirely.
I also had a background hope that maybe, somehow, I’d still be able to play ball.
No one was encouraging me in that direction, so maybe I was being delusional. I still had to try.
I expected everything to continue on like it had before I was hurt.
It was strange, though. I realized that even though it had seemed like I had about a million friends, those relationships had been shallow, surface-level.
Anyone I’d really hung out with before was…
gone. Drake, Melinda, and Blair had transferred to UGA along with Sadie.
I couldn’t eat in the athlete’s dining hall anymore, so eating with any of the guys from the football team was out.
The guys in my fraternity acted like they barely knew me.
Hell, maybe that was true. They’d treated me like a living legend before the injury, but I realized I hadn’t gotten to know anyone on a personal level.
Several guys still thought the sex videos that had ruined my life were ‘cool.’ When I set them straight, it was pretty clear they didn’t want to hang out with me.
People asked me about Aubrey all the time. I hated it. She’d apparently gotten kicked off the cheerleading squad in Atlanta for sleeping with a married player.
I couldn’t believe I’d thrown away my relationship with Sadie for someone like her.
Sadie. I found myself looking for her everywhere, even though I knew she no longer at Carruthers.
I’d driven her away with my abhorrent behavior, and I was still trying to come to terms with that.
I wanted to fix it, but I didn’t know how.
The way things stood, I doubted she’d ever talk to me again.
One day in my first week back at school, I headed to one of the regular cafeterias on campus. I went alone for the first time. I felt like a kid on the first day of school in a new town. I didn’t have anyone to sit with.
The line was also insanely long. There was no way I was going to stand in that shit.
Without thinking, I bypassed everyone like I’d come to expect in the two and a half years I was QB1.
I walked right to the front, grabbed a tray and was about to start serving myself, when a big guy I didn’t recognize approached me.
“Hey, man. What the fuck?”
I looked at him, confused. “What?”
“You skipped the line, dumbass.”
“Oh,” I laughed, “I don’t have to wait in lines.” I looked around for some of my adoring fans to back me up. There weren’t any.
He crossed his arms over his meaty chest. “And why is that? You think you’re better than the rest of us?”
I gave him a look. “You know who I am, right?”
“No.”
Our conversation was bringing attention to us. I could hear what a few of the people were saying… and it wasn’t great.
“Oh, that’s the football player who got hurt.”
“I guess he thinks he can still get the same perks he got before?
“Welcome to the real world, buddy!”
“What a douche.”
“He’s that asshole from that sex video scandal. You know, the one where he cheated on his girlfriend?”
“I never liked him.”
“Did you see the girl he cheated on? She was gorgeous. He’s an idiot.”
No one was defending me or agreeing that I somehow deserved special treatment because of who I was.
Finally, a girl who looked vaguely familiar to me came over.
“I’m the student manager of the cafeteria,” she said.
“And I know exactly who you are. You might not remember me, but I was a hostess at the diner and ended up losing my job because I complained after you were a complete douchewaffle to me.” She leaned towards me, blue eyes sparking with indignation.
“Let me tell you something now that you’re not a football god anymore.
No one cares who you used to be. What you did on the field a few months ago doesn’t mean you can skip in front of everyone else now.
Welcome to college life the way regular people live it, asshole. ”
My mouth had dropped open halfway through her speech.
I couldn’t believe the amount of animosity she had towards me.
I remembered who she was now. I’d demanded a seat at the diner when there weren’t any.
I cringed inwardly. I really had turned into a douche.
“I had no idea you got fired. I’m really sorry about that. ”
“Yeah, fuck off. I’m team Sadie all the way. That poor girl is so much better off without you for a boyfriend. Go to the back of the line.”
Most of the people in line clapped.
It was the first time I’d heard the term team Sadie, but it wouldn’t be the last. I started to ask her about it, but the clapping was so loud it drowned out my voice.
Shocked, I just stood there for a moment.
Then, I walked slowly to the back of the line.
I felt numb as I moved through the line, embarrassed to have caused a scene.
And embarrassed that my past behavior was so bad that I was known for it.
The looks I was getting were at best full of pity and at worst full of hate.
So… I guessed it would be different on campus now.
I got my lunch in silence and then looked around the cafeteria for a friendly face. Anyone I knew, really. I lucked out when I spotted Carrie and her boyfriend Thatcher. I made my way over to their table. They hadn’t seen me yet.
“Hey, Carrie.”
She looked up, a smile on her sweet face. When she realized it was me, her expression morphed into the meanest one I’d ever seen her display. She looked at me like I was worse than swamp fungus or flesh-eating bacteria. I took a step back.
“Carrie?” her boyfriend was looking at her in shock. “Who is that?” he asked in a low voice, though I could easily hear him.
“That’s the guy who cheated on Sadie.”
Her boyfriend gasped. He actually gasped. Then he stood up, and I was surprised to see how tall he was. “Go find a different table. You’re not welcome here.”
My eyebrows shot up. “Are you kidding me? Come on, Carrie. We’ve known each other since eighth grade.”
“Guess who I’ve known since pre-K and care a whole lot more about?” she shot back.
“Sadie.” I could see tears of anger welling up in her eyes.
“You’re damn right. I hate you for what you did to her.
We all do. I don’t know what happened to you, Harrison, but you’re not the type of person I would ever be friends with now.
Do me a favor. When you see me around campus from now on?
Look the other way. I can promise I won’t be interested in hanging out with you. ”
My face was bright red. Several people at the tables around us were staring.
A few of them called out “team Sadie,” and people cheered.
I hurried away without saying goodbye and walked to the front to get a to-go container.
My leg was getting tired from standing in line and walking around, and my limp was becoming more apparent. “Back of the line buddy.”
Fuck. I was going to have to wait in the same line again.
“I’m not that hungry after all,” I said to no one in particular and dumped my lunch in the trash.
I made my way across campus back to the frat house.
By the time I got back, my leg hurt almost too badly to go up the stairs.
I made my way to my room only to find some guy fucking two hot chicks inside.
“What the hell?”
He looked up. “Do you mind?”
“This is my fucking room!”
“Oh, you’re Harrison?” He looked at the girls, who were completely naked. “Give me a second, y’all.” He walked over to me, not in the least self-conscious of his dick hanging out. I kept my eyes firmly on his face. “I thought they told you already. They moved you down into a basement room today.”
I looked around, and my mouth fell open. All of my stuff was gone. “You’re kidding.”
“Nope. I’m the best starting pitcher for the baseball team, and, well, now that you’re not QB1,” he shrugged, “you lost a bunch of privileges.”
The basement was for the lowest ranking members of the fraternity. What the hell? “Why the basement?”
“Ah.” He looked a little uncomfortable and ran a hand through his hair. “The girlfriend of the president is team Sadie all the way, man.”
“Yeah, so are we,” one of the girls said.
“Team Sadie,” said the other one. Both of them gave me looks of pure disgust.
“Gotcha.” I was noticing a pattern here.
I moved slowly down the three flights of stairs to the dank, dark basement.
My room smelled like a petri dish. My stuff had been tossed inside with no care at all, so I spent the rest of the afternoon getting it put to rights and cleaning.
I’d had to go out to the store to get cleaning products since the frat’s little sister program kept my room clean before.
I asked if they cleaned all the guys’ rooms. They made it clear they were no longer interested in doing that for a person like me.
So, I’d gotten cleaning supplies. Then I had a hell of a time trying to figure out where the mold smell was coming from. I sneezed most of the afternoon, and I was pretty sure I was living in black mold.
I was feeling so sorry for myself when I finally showered and laid down to sleep, exhausted.
I almost felt like crying. So, of course I did the worst possible thing.
I stalked Sadie on social media. She’d had to close her old accounts and open new ones after the debacle with the sex videos. It took me a while to find her.
Then I’d finally found them.