Seventeen
Sawyer
Everything is out in the open, everything is on the table and Avory stands on the other side. It feels like a spotlight hangs above our table, highlighting everything I have gambled into allowing Avory to learn, yet he doesn't back down. He places everything he has in the light as well and is officially all in. He has every chance to run, run far away from this mess of a man and find someone else, because let's face it, it wouldn't be hard to find someone who is interested in this gorgeous specimen of a man. Yet he doesn't. Instead, the feeling of the grip of his hand mixes with his lips pressing again mine, a familiar heat spreading across my body, except the rain isn’t here to cool me down this time. Avory’s lips pull away from mine slowly, his forehead pressing against mine and his breath tickling my upper lip as he whispers,
“Any situation is worth going through if it means I get to see you, Sawyer.”
I didn't reply, yet I didn't freeze up. Instead, as I said to Avory moments ago, everything that would've stopped me previously is put to rest by his presence, and all that echoes through my mind is how much I am falling head over heels for this guitarist. Okay, maybe I won't tell him that part. I don't want to scare off the one chance I've had since college to have my lips and mind be understood by another man.
Without hesitation for once in my life, my lips meet his. All of those incredible emotions from our last kiss come rushing back but so much more potent than before. His lips are soft, and the distant taste of his iced coffee still lingers, it’s equal parts sweet and nutty. With both of us facing forward, our knees brushing, I can't get much closer to Avory, yet all I want is to be closer. I want my hands on him, feeling every part of his build which I got a sneak at with that photo.
I start twisting myself towards Avory, pulling my legs onto the sofa and Avory’s hand lands on my waist. A shiver spreads across my side as he pulls me over to him and my legs straddling my tiny frame over his lap. My thighs hug his legs together and my arms drape around his shoulders, my hands lock together behind his neck as a low groan erupts from Avory’s throat. His grip tightens, his painted nails digging into my skin as he pulls me closer, my chest brushing against his for brief moments. I struggle to catch my breath which is currently sprinting away from my grasp since I never imagined in my wildest dreams that I could be in this position with a man, let alone this man being someone like Avory. Someone as incredible as Avory.
Avory's hands travel down to my waist, his thumbs tracing gentle circles, and this bathes me in a calming bliss which I have never felt. Every piece of guilt and fear I have ever known rips my brain apart to do anything and everything to Avory while I have him here, because I fear that this can never happen ever again. Somehow, ever so gently, I close the door on those emotions because they don't exist here, with Avory.
My lips pull away from Avory’s, a smile growing on my face which causes an ache in my cheeks, I haven't felt this in so long. I giggle to myself which Avory joins in on, probably through confusion.
“Sawyer, are you okay?”
His glowing smile appears as the laughter comes to an end. My hand retreats from his neck, my fingertips touching every single dip and curve I could find. His skin radiates warmth, his natural curves, lines, and bumps bring a sense of comfort, reminding me that he wasn't carved by gods. My prints trace along his collarbones, the natural dip becoming a new fixation. I brush my tips against the top of his chest, however, my hand hooks around his hoodie as it serves as a barrier. A barrier that stops me from exploring every part of Avory Bright.
“More than okay. I have soared the furthest away from okay, in the best possible way.”
Avory chuckles to himself. His smile is so goddamn contagious, and I'm so glad to be infected. He seems to have a plan in his mind as he rolls his shoulders back the best he can, moving his head to one side. He leaves his head hanging yet still turns to face me.
“Lay your head here.”
He signals to the space he opens up for me, and you don't need to ask me twice. I lay my head on its side, my lips nearly tickling the hairs on his neck. I close my eyes and inhale, his scent of sandalwood nearly lulling me into a deep sleep which I will stay in forever if it means I could stay in this moment longer than I'm capable. Avory's hands move, while one remain on my waist and continues his circles which are beginning to numb the skin surrounding it, the other rests on the small of my back. Every so often, his hand rubs up in between my shoulder blades and back down to rest. All I want to do is sink into his embrace and leave everything else behind. While this clearly isn't how we were expecting this visit to this rundown sofa to go, it is crystal clear that it shouldn't have gone any other way. We remain in each other's company and in each other's arms until Avory's bass brings me back to the present day.
“Please tell me if this is too much… but have you ever done any of this before?”
He sounds sincere and cautious as he asks. My eyes follow a tensing muscle in Avory’s neck before lingering on his Adam’s apple as I reply, “Well, considering my situation, I’ve learnt about everything through romance novels, through Gwen and Xander, and one awful first kiss experience, so…”
“Care to enlighten me on this awful first kiss?”
I tilt my head slightly, so my eyes meet his as he faces me.
“I may have learnt a lot about you in the short time we've known each other, but I want to learn more. As long as you don't mind, of course.”
I scrunch up my nose at the thought of my first kiss, but I tell him everything. I tell Avory about Rue and what happened in the art cupboard. Avory listens intently, his focus on me the whole time as I ask about his first.
“Damn Sawyer, that's rough. Mine was eleven-years-old, and her name was Evelyn. She sat next to me during break time and asked if she could peck my cheek as I shared my lunch with her, and instead I said, ‘how about my lips?’ and she did.”
I scoff which turns into a laugh buried in Avory's shoulder.
“So, you've always been a smooth talker then?”
“Forever and always, baby.”
My chest flutters at the word. Baby. I know that it isn't directed at me, it's a phrase which everyone uses, but the idea of one day, maybe, having Avory grow a collection of pet names for me made my—no, I can't keep thinking that far into the future. He's not here permanently and that's something I have to keep reminding myself. My mind replays my first kiss over and over until it clicks in my head. That was my first kiss with a boy.
“Maybe I lied. That was my first kiss with a guy.”
Avory's face turns from his gorgeous smile to his exaggerated shocked face, resembling the emoji with its hands up to its cheeks, except his hands still have my entire body in a state of pure bliss.
“My first kiss was with my, oh so lovely, Gwen Sweet.”
Avory couldn't have looked more ecstatic. “Do tell!”
I sit myself up on Avory's lap, my arms returning to their position as his own personal necklace. I roll my head around a few times, hearing the crunch of my neck as I swing around. How long was I cuddled into Avory's side?
“So, when we were twelve, we had a school play of Romeo and Juliet. We both got cast as the main roles and the teacher was adamant on a kiss between the two, which obviously makes sense. Anyway, Gwen knew that I had never kissed anyone, so instead of my first kiss being on stage in front of the entire school, five minutes before the curtains went up, she kissed me.”
“Her kiss was so bad that it turned you gay?”
I slap his chest playfully as we both laugh.
“You'll need to meet her properly soon, and not in passing when we've just finished talking about you, like actually meeting her, and her brother, Xander, too. They are practically my adopted family.”
“Aha! So, you were talking about me then?”
I bury my head into his chest, my cheeks feeling as if they’re going to become the most flushed they possibly can. His lips press against my forehead, and I could just melt into his lips, no matter where they went. His lips stay put for a few seconds before he speaks.
“Adopted families really are something special. While my uncle has always been my uncle, you wouldn't have ever expected him to take in his nephew for over eleven years now.”
A bittersweet smile coats Avory's face, as if it’s trying to say that “I love that it happened but hate that it had to happen”. That smile pinches itself into a thin line as Avory's gaze turns away from me. My hand meets his cheek as I pull him back to me, to us.
“Whenever you want, and if you ever want to, I’ll be here to listen to you.”
And there it is. That gorgeous, beaming smile which displays those beautiful teeth, accompanied with his delicious, smooth lips.
“Sawyer, thank you. I'd like for you to know everything and—”
Avory is interrupted by a buzz which makes the both of us jump and drags us back to this reality. Avory shoves a hand into his trouser pocket and pulls out his phone, still leaving one hand on my side and whispering his apology. His screen is glowing with a picture of him and who I assume is his Uncle Marcus, both with the cheesiest grins on their performance ready faces.
“Hey, it's my uncle. I think I need to get back, it seems important.”
It’s evident that neither of us want to leave this moment. I don't want to return to a reality where this could possibly never happen again. A reality where Avory is just a really good-looking customer who I exchange glances with every now and then. The more I think about it, the more I can't determine what exactly we are, but that's a conversation I'll bring up with him at a different time. A conversation like that is awkward enough for any person with a stable family and healthy concept over their own sexuality, so with my situation, you might as well add a million more steps to follow.