37. Chapter 36
Chapter 36
Katherine
I promise myself then and there that no matter what Tommy says to me tomorrow morning, I’ll be staying in Australia. I owe it to James and to myself to see where this might go.
“Katherine, I’m going to cut to the chase,” Tommy says through the screen on my laptop. His office in New York has the most amazing view, I can see skyscrapers and the glow of city lights behind him through his window making my heart feel weird. He’s also saying “cut to it” as if he wants to get this over and done with quickly, but we have in fact been talking for like an hour, he’s on his second glass of whiskey, and I’m on my second cup of coffee; it’s weird alright.
I almost feel like I’ve known him forever the way we talk about soulmates and journalism.
“I want you to work for me.” I’m sure he thinks my end of the call has frozen because everything around me stops including my breathing .
“Excuse me?” There is no way he just said what I think he did, not a chance. There must be bad Wi-Fi somewhere on this link.
“I know it may be a bit forward but it’s kinda how I am, my wife says it’s something I need to work on.” He takes another drink from his glass. “Katherine, you’ve got something about you that I just feel will work so well here; you believe.”
“I’m not sure what to say.” I nervously pick at my fingers in my lap.
“Say you’ll at least think about it, you’d be the youngest writer I’ve ever hired but that’s what we need. Someone to give a new fresh voice to a media that seems to be on the edge of extinction.” I see his face get visibly more excited as he continues to talk. “I have big ideas to push us more into the online space and that’s what I want from you, your blog is so real and exposed, that’s what I want.” He’s basically saying he wants to pay me to do what I do already.
I might combust right now in front of him, this is everything I wanted, the opportunity I wanted the minute I stepped out of my graduation ceremony but I stopped myself from applying for any of them because of this trip. I said I would go home at Christmas if I hadn’t gotten very far with the search.
I also said I’d try with James.
“I guess I’ll think about it then.” I can’t just say no to him, I can’t shut him down right now when I can’t even quite wrap my head around what’s even happened.
“Perfect, I’d obviously need you to come back here to start if you did take it.”
Obviously.
A feeling in my chest starts pulling at me and it moves to my fingers. Panic. This is big, real big, life changing, career starting stuff. Am I really in a position to turn that down because of a boy?
He’s not just a boy .
My brain starts to move faster than I can keep up with and before Tommy says goodbye I’ve already got thirty terrible scenarios going in my mind.
“Well, I’ll get Natasha to send over an offer, just so you can see what we’d be expecting. It was wonderful getting to talk to you Katherine. I hope to speak to you soon.”
“Thank you so much, speak soon,” I say, closing my laptop and leaning back in my chair staring up at the ceiling of my room.
My room.
OH.
Ella.
MY.
Maddie.
GOD.
James.
“So, how did it go?” Ella says bursting into my room. She’s still got her wetsuit on and her hair is sticking up in every direction.
“Did you just run back here after your class?” I ask as she drips water where she stands.
“Yes, but please just tell me what he said!”
“I guess really well, he offered me a job.” I should be saying that in a way that sounds far more excited and yet I sound about as flat as I feel.
“Oh, my god, that’s amazing! Well done, sweetie,” she says pulling me into a big hug lifting me out of the chair. Hearing someone else being excited about it kinda makes me more proud about it if that’s really possible, like pride is contagious.
“Yeah it is, but I’d have to go home,” I tell her pulling away so I can see her face again. I watch the light in her eyes drop just a little but it happens .
“You’ve got to do what’s best for you Katherine, whatever feels right in here.” She points her fingers into my chest where I can feel my heart beating a mile a minute.
“And what would that be?” I ask her, feeling like a little kid that wants to be told what to do.
“I can’t tell you that, Kat, but you’ll know. Whatever you choose, I am so proud of you.”
When she says it, it’s so similar to the tone my dad used to use that I feel my eyes sting. I’ve been so worried about letting him down, not doing what he wanted me to. Would he be proud of me? Is this the universe's way of setting me back to the path he wanted for me?
And as if I don’t already have enough voices in my head, my dad’s comes to the front, soft and gentle the way he was.
Make sure you have your own life.
I was never too sure what he really meant, and I never got to ask more questions, but I think this is what he wanted. Wanted me to make the decisions for myself, for me to guide myself and not my soul stone.
And for the first time my soul stone is actually the last of my worries.
The days after my call with Tommy are hard and confusing and everything else I could possibly feel. I can’t make a decision for the life of me, and every time I think I know what I want, something else seems to pull me the other way .
James doesn’t miss a beat with this whole new relationship we have going on and takes me out for dinner the night after. I want to tell him, I have this urge to tell him everything, every thought I’ve ever had, I want him to know.
“Okay, what’s my favourite colour?” I ask as I lean back in my chair. The candle on the table makes his face glow and I like the way his eyes sparkle at me.
“Oh, easy, it’s green.” Somehow we’ve managed to get to twelve of twenty questions without getting a single one wrong. I'm not sure how we started, something about us not knowing each other enough, and him telling me he has in fact been paying a lot of attention. Apparently I was paying a lot more attention than I thought. “What’s mine?”
“Okay, one, not fair you know green looks great against my hair, and two, blue, obviously,” I finish by stabbing the last carrots on my plate and stuffing them in my mouth.
“Every colour looks great on you, Sunshine,” he smiles at me; he’s got that whole surfer boy charm really going for him tonight and my heart has been melting since he picked me up. The shirt he’s wearing is unbuttoned so far I can see chest tattoos peeking through and I kinda just want him to take it off.
“You’ve got to stop with all these compliments or I’m going to get a big head,” I smile at him. I like this, this easy conversation. It feels nice, good, like I could do this for a long time.
Forever.
“Oh, well we can’t have that can we?” A wicked grin pulls on his face and I feel my skin get hot. “All your clothes are terrible and I think you should be naked all the time instead,” he says, all calm and cool as our waiter comes back to our table. But his eyes are dark as he looks over the bare skin on my shoulders and collar bone .
“Can I get you guys everything else?” he asks as he picks our plates up and I feel my cheeks heat even more.
“Yeah, can we get a dessert menu, please?” James asks, moving to hold my hand across the table.
“Of course, I’ll be right back.”
“You can’t say that shit outside,” I say with a pointed look “And you’re not a dessert guy.” He’s playing with my hand in his but I just watch his face.
My heart squeezes as I watch him take a drink from his water, and god what I wouldn’t give to be that glass. To have his mouth on mine again.
He smirks at me and he puts his glass down. “Oh, I’m not, but you are. Cheesecake, I’m guessing. I’ll have my dessert later.” Want drips from every word, so much so my breath stops. He seems to take great pleasure in reminding me how much he wants me every opportunity he gets. “Next question,” he asks while I squirm in my seat, heat starting to spread from between my legs and up my chest.
It doesn’t take long for him to notice, flagging down our waiter and we order dessert to go. Cheesecake, of course.
He takes my hand as we head back to his truck and we laugh the whole way back to my place, and for a minute I forget. Forget that I need to make a choice between here and going back home, because in moments like these with him, the choice is obvious and easy to make.
I want to be where he is. And I want to be his and I want him to be mine.
“You read a lot.” I watch him pick up several of my books, his arms hanging over the edge of the end of my bed.
“Yeah, I guess. I feel calm when I read,” I say bringing myself down to the end of the bed laying down next to him, my arm brushes his and I get goosebumps. I’ve never had this, being with another person and not worrying for a minute. He calms me. He makes me feel happy and I’m not nervous at all because I know he’ll never judge me.
“What are they about?” he asks, flicking the pages of one. His face is confused and almost amused.
“They’re romance,” I tell him, tracing my fingers down his side not looking at what his hands are doing but watching the way his muscles flex on his back, the way his tattoos move.
“All of them? I guess I shouldn’t be surprised, you romantics.” He turns to look at me more using one of his hands to move my sex hair out of my face. “So, they're all the same?” That one gets my attention.
“All the same?” I roll over and grab two different books. “Of course not. This one,” I lift a blue one with white flowers and cartoon characters on the front to his face, “is about a small town cowboy who’s grumpy for no good reason and a sunshine city woman who comes to town to help said cowboy’s family with PR for the ranch, it’s very forced proximity.”
“It’s very what ?”
“And this one,” I show him another, with pink flowers and gold lettering, “is about a grumpy CEO who is far too busy for anyone, except the woman who lives next door who he’s been in love with for years. This one's fake dating.”
“Faking dating? What does that mean?” He looks almost as confused as I guessed he would be.
“They’re tropes, it’s like a theme I guess. We have a lot of them in romance books—one bed, single dad, marriage of convenience, and my personal favourite, enemies to lovers.” He’s right, I am a romantic and I could read the same tropes over and over again set in different small towns and big cities and still squeal when the slow burn finally starts to burn .
“Enemies to lovers is your favourite?” He’s close to laughing. I can see it in his eyes.
“The idea that someone can see all the bad things in you, see you at your literal worst but still learn to love you anyway. Yeah, it’s my favourite.”
He kisses me gently on my forehead, telling me he’s heard me even if he has nothing to add, then he grabs them out of my hands, putting them back down on the floor. “Sunshine, I think we should take the books away. They’re rotting your brain.”
“Never!” I shout as he starts to tickle at my ribs. “That’s not fair,” I say in between laughs and wheezes.
He rolls me over still tickling at my sides and in one swift motion has me straddling him, with his hands tight on my hips. I feel his dick twitch behind me hitting my arse. I like this position. I have power this way. I lower my head down so I’m closer to him. “You seem to like the grumpy ones, too.” He’s cocky smirk on his face.
“Well I like you, don’t I?”
“Oh, I see. So you’ve been picturing me this whole time as these grumpy CEOs or cowboys?” He’s confident, and before I would have wanted to slap him, now it makes me want to push my hips back teasing him a little, so I do. I’ve never been very confident with this kinda thing, being sexy, but with him I’m not embarrassed to show him what I want or show him I want him.
“The whole time? No, I’ve been picturing Henry Cavill, actually.” I pull back from his face a little but his hands on hips don’t let me go too far.
“And what’s he got on me?” His smug smile doesn’t budge one inch, if I could I’d be squeezing my legs together but they’re pushed tight to him, and I’m sure he can feel my heat pooling in-between my legs. I feel his dick harden more, he can definitely feel it.
“I mean, what doesn’t he have?” I squeal at the end as he flips us both over me now pinned under him, his hands either side my head holding my hands there and my legs splayed open for him to put himself between.
“You want to try that again?” he mocks, he’s cock rubbing at my clit as he moves himself. “Cat got your tongue, Sunshine? Or would you like to tell me who you really think about,” he tells me as he grabs himself rubbing his cocks head over my clit and then lining himself up with my entrance teasing me with the first two inches of him.
“Oh, god.”
“No, still not right. One last chance, Kat.”
“You,” I’ll tell him anything just to get him inside of me again. Apparently the two orgasms after dinner were not enough for me. “You, James, please.”
“Since you asked so nicely.” He pulls out, rolling on a condom from the box next to him on the bed and then he smiles down at me sliding himself in me. “Jesus, still so tight.” Once he’s filled me, his hands come back down to the bed and his face lines back up with mine and I grab it so I can taste him again.
He still tastes like the cheesecake we shared after orgasm number one and I now know that every time I eat it from here on out, I’m going to be turned on.
He leans back on his heels and shifts so my legs are over his shoulders, and the angle he hits, it’s almost otherworldly. “Fuck.” He thrusts into me hard and fast and I have no idea until having sex with him that this was what I liked. That I like being fucked and not soft and gentle sex. It’s new and liberating in a way to know myself better because of him.
“Sorry, did that hurt?” And yet, when he is sweet, it’s still sexy .
“God, no, don’t stop,” I beg, feeling my insides clench around him.
“You keep clenching like that, I won't last long.” He nips at my ankle next to his head and leans his body forward, bending me in a way I was unaware I could do.
The build up in my body is so intense, I have no idea what to do with my hands but grip my sheets. The noises I make I’m sure are either inaudible or pure gibberish.
“That’s it, Sunshine. God, you take it so well.” The praise for being fucked by him grows the knot in my belly, new turn on unlocked. I watch in pure awe as his hips slap against mine and I no longer have control of my body but he holds tight to my thighs stopping my body from falling apart.
“Yes, fuck, right here.”
I lift my head in time to see him lick his thumb and bring it down to my clit, rubbing at it. “How’d I get so lucky?” I have no idea how he’s still talking while blowing my brain from my body but it’s completely impossible for me to respond to him. Honestly, I think I’m the lucky one in this, the man literally gets pleasure from getting me off, like who is he? I feel it and then it’s taking over my whole body and mind and I’m not sure if I say anything other than his name. “That’s it, Sunshine, come for me.”
“Come with me,” I manage to get out while so close to the edge, I grip around him as tight as I can to bring him over with me.
“Fuck, Kat.” His thrusts get sloppy and his thumb works circles on my clit and I feel myself lose all control and the room goes white. I can’t hear anything I might be saying but I can feel him lose control too.
He lets go of my legs and lets me flop on my side, I’m still spaced out as he pulls out of me.
“Is death by orgasm a thing?” I ask laughing as we lay next to each other, chests heaving and breaths uneven. I like this bit too, the after, the talking we do. He slides an arm under me and pulls me back to his chest, my head under his chin, he lifts his head and kisses the top of mine.
“I don’t know, but I’m up for trying.”