19. Thea
Thea
Don’t Let the Door Hit You on the Way Out
It seems that Anita being my sister hasn’t scared Zair off. Monday, while we’re warming up for Combat Magic Coach announces that we’re doing hand-to-hand combat.
“Partners?” Zair asks as we finish our stretches.
“I can work with Mavrik,” I offer.
He raises an eyebrow.
“We’re not wearing sleeves,” I explain.
He looks more confused.
“I will touch you,” I clarify.
“Oh.”
I start to stand, but his hand is suddenly in front of me, offered palm up. An invitation. A challenge. A choice. Now it’s my turn to raise an eyebrow.
“Need a hand?”
Even after learning Anita is my sister, he’s choosing to have skin-to-skin contact.
His biggest rule. He knows I’m good at curses.
Is it because he thinks I’m too weak to hurt him.
Or that he trusts me not to. I hesitate for a second, then slowly place my hand in his.
His fingers close around mine with surprising warmth.
He pulls me to my feet, and for a moment, neither of us lets go.
My traitorous heart races. It’s just that he trusts me, that’s all.
Not that he touched me. Not that he’s still touching me.
We spar, circling each other, each step a test of balance and nerve.
He feints left, then reaches out and catches my arm in a grip like iron.
I pivot, dragging him with me, and slam my elbow into his gut.
The breath whooshes out of him, and for a heartbeat I think I’ve got him — until he twists, using his weight to pull me down.
My back hits the mat, his silhouette blotting out the lights.
I buck and twist, muscles burning, but he leans in close, breath warm against my ear.
“Got ya.”
We scramble up, both of us breathing hard, sweat starting to trickle down my spine. We go again. Same result. Me flat on the mat, his weight pressing me down until I’m forced to yield. After Zair pins me for the third time, Coach passes, glancing between us. “That all you got Thea?”
This time I fight with every tool I have. I catch him off-guard, using a burst of force to topple him, and suddenly I’m the one on top, knees planted on either side of his ribs as I grin down at him.
The look in his eyes isn’t defeat. It’s something else entirely. Something that makes my stomach dip. I hop off him fast, like the mat’s burned me. Then, before I can think too much about it, I do it again.
We walk to our dorms in silence, his stride sharp and quick, jaw tight like he’s chewing on something he can’t spit out.
Not that I could say anything either. I don’t think either of us realized what dropping that barrier would do.
I’m all too aware of every inch of skin he touched.
I strip and step into the shower. Turn the water to cold and scold myself.
I have a mate. I love him. This… this is normal.
It’s been months since I’ve been with someone.
It’s natural to get turned on when a hot guy pins you to the floor and breathes against your neck.
Shit.
I turn the shower colder. If I wasn’t short on time I’d relieve the pressure…
Fuck it. I head to the bed, stopping at my underwear drawer on the way. I don’t let myself think. Don’t picture anything. Just feel the pleasure as the release hits, hard and fast.
God, I’d forgotten how good that feels.
Feeling human in a way I haven’t in a long time, I make my way to the cafeteria and grab a full plate of breakfast as I go over my mental to-do list, grounding myself in routine when Anita and Mavis slide into the seat across from me.
“Well, this is unexpected,” I say, keeping my tone casual as I push my fork around my plate. “What brings you here?”
Anita tilts her head slightly, letting out a soft laugh.
It’s the kind of laugh you give when you’re trying to be charming but can’t quite hide the undertones of something more calculating.
“Oh, I don’t know. I just thought we could…
catch up. You’ve been so distant lately.
But if it’s because of that boy, I’d get it! ”
“It’s not. I’m not interested in Zair.”
Her lips curl into a thin smile, her eyes narrowing slightly. “Why not? I can tell he’s interested in you.”
“Probably not,” I say simply.
“And he’s so hot. He claims he doesn’t date witches, but there you were, on a date with him.
” She presses on, undeterred by my indifference.
“I know after your last outing into dating that you’re scared, but maybe you should give him a shot!
” Her words drip with subtle mockery, and I hear the pressure in her voice, the way she’s trying to push me into a corner, trying to make me feel like I have no other choice.
I can see how easily I fell for it before, how I let her dig her doubts into my mind until I couldn’t tell which thoughts were mine anymore. But I’m not chained anymore.
“Adora, if I were you, I’d go right up to him and kiss him. Show him you mean business.”
The air between us grows colder and I realize she’s trying to trigger my old shackle.
My name was the trigger word.
“Now that’s a plan,” I say, my voice as even as I can make it, though inside I’m screaming.
“You’re weak. Anyone can see it. But someone like Zair? He could lift you up. He’s strong enough for both of you. All you have to do is stop fighting it. Let him in.”
“I’m good,” I reply, my voice level and certain. “Not interested.”
Anita’s smile tightens, but she doesn’t back off. “You should be, Adora. I mean, Zair? He’s everything you need, right? Unless, of course, you’ve got a thing for… shadow boy? Rumor has it you’ve been spending a lot of time with him.”
I glance quickly at Mavis. Does Anita know Mavrik’s her brother?
“If I told you I was, would you stop talking?”
“That boy is bad news, shadows aren’t any known form of magic,” she argues. “You can’t seriously claim you like him more than Zair.”
“Never said I liked either,” I remind her.
“I’m telling you that he’s worthless. Will never amount to anything,” she spits before her voice softens, like she’s comforting me. “Don’t let your fear of repeating the past ruin your future. We all make mistakes, but it’s how we move forward that matters.”
I meet her eyes, unfazed. “Yeah, and I’m moving forward just fine without your advice.”
“Thea,” she continues, her tone low, “You’re never going to find anyone as good as him.
I don’t know how you managed to catch him, but you can’t play hard to get and lose him.
You’ll never have a chance at someone like Zair again.
Once it’s out that he’s willing to date witches, he’ll be warming a different bed every night.
” She pauses, letting the weight of her words hang between us.
“And we both know you’re not the type to get another shot. ”
I scratch at my wrist absentmindedly as I ignore her.
A new habit I can’t seem to shake since my time in the dungeon.
The cuffs are gone, but their weight still clings to my skin.
The bracelet illusion doesn’t help. If anything, it makes the phantom pressure worse.
I can still feel the bite of metal, the rawness that never got the chance to heal.
My skin is clear now, but the memory isn’t.
She looks at the bracelet on my wrist. I can feel a hint of her magic, double checking that the bracelet is still working. Maybe it fails because she abruptly changes subject.
“You think you can just turn away from me like that? You think you can keep everything to yourself, be free of me?” Her tone is low, but there’s a bite in it that makes my stomach turn. “You’re wrong, Thea. You’ll never escape me. You’ll always need me.”
The words are meant to hurt, to get under my skin, but they don’t. At least, not in the way she’s hoping. I will escape her. Even if it’s just with my death.
“I’m moving forward, Anita. Without you, without your games.”
Her sharp intake of breath and the furious clench of her jaw make me feel a small measure of satisfaction.