55. Zair
Zair
If they’re Screwing, I’d Honestly Feel Better about this Whole Situation.
The party sucks worse than even I suspected.
Dylan has decided the solution to my ‘Thea problem’ is to get me laid.
He doesn’t get it. Meaningless sex doesn’t do it for me anymore.
I’d rather be at the library watching her work than fucking someone else.
I’m not sure what that says about me. He plays wingman like it’s his job, sending girl after girl over to me.
Even a nightblind guy — that was pretty progressive of Dylan.
They’re beautiful and willing. They all make my skin crawl.
I decide to ditch and text Thea, asking if she’s at the library. When I finally get out of the party, I still haven’t heard back. I swing by the nook, but she isn’t there, so I head to my dorm and crash.
When I wake, the first thing I do is check my phone. Nothing. I stare at the screen, fingers hovering, a knot forming in my chest. She never ignores me this long. I dress quickly and head to the cafeteria, hoping to find her there.
Dylan is sitting alone at our usual table, scrolling on his phone. I grab a tray and approach, forcing my voice to stay casual.
“Hey, have you seen Thea?” I ask, then add, “Or Benson?”
He looks up, shaking his head. “Nah. Probably just running late.”
After breakfast, I head to Thea’s nook, where she’s almost always when she isn’t in class or asleep. But when I get there, it’s empty. The unease in my chest deepens as I pull out my phone, texting her again, hoping for a reply. Still nothing.
The day drags on, and my anxiety builds. I text Mavrik to see if they’re practicing.
No. We’re meeting at the sparing ground at four.
On my third trip to the library after checking the sparring grounds anyways, I spot Ethan leaning against a bookshelf, looking like he’s waiting for someone. While I doubt Thea would have anything to do with him, he does seem to show up wherever she is. I walk over to him, trying to play nice.
“Have you seen Thea?”
He shrugs, a smirk tugging at the corner of his lips. “She’s playing one of her games, man. You know how she is. Don’t bother with it.”
Frustration flares inside me. Something’s wrong. I can feel it. This isn’t like Thea. Even when she’s upset, she still answers my texts.
I head to her dorm, my pulse quickening with every step.
I knock, but deep down, I already know her soul’s not in there.
Just to be sure, I get the RA to open the door.
The room looks the same as it did yesterday: the same books on her desk, the same blanket tossed over the chair.
I stare at the tallies. There’s still sixty-one. She didn’t add one today.
When I leave, movement in the common room catches my eye. Anita lounges in one of the velvet armchairs, legs crossed elegantly, surrounded by a small ring of friends draped over the couches and floor. Her polished nails tap idly against the armrest as she laughs at something someone says.
I brace myself and walk over.
“Hello, Zair,” she says, voice sugar-sweet and a little too smooth. Her gaze moves over my body lazily. “A house call?” The group around her snickers.
“Have you seen Thea?”
She lets out a soft, breathy laugh, then glances at her friends as if I’ve said something embarrassing.
“Thea?” she repeats, voice dripping with mock confusion. “You’re still going on about her?”
I don’t respond, and she leans forward slightly, propping her chin on her hand.
“Zair, she’s probably with Benson. You know how they get. They disappear for days.” Her voice is too casual. Dismissive. “You need to stop working yourself up like this. It’s not healthy.”
I frown.
“It’s not like her to go silent.”
She raises her eyebrows, then glances again at her friends, who are now watching with thinly veiled amusement.
“Isn’t it, though?” she says softly. “I mean, she does this all the time. She likes her little drama moments. Maybe you just don’t know her as well as you thought.”
My stomach twists.
“If you know where she is, Anita, tell me.”
Her expression softens into something almost pitying. “You’re acting paranoid,” she says gently, like she’s trying to soothe a child. “You’re reading too much into things. Thea isn’t missing. She’s not in danger. She probably needed space. People pull away when they feel smothered.”
“I’m not.” I bristle.
“You’re obsessed. It’s kind of sad, actually. She’s moved on, you should too.”
My fists clench at my sides. “That’s not what this is. She’s my friend. I know something’s wrong.”
She laughs again, louder this time, and her friends echo it like a chorus.
“God, Zair. She’s probably holed up in Benson’s room right now. While you’re down here chasing your own tail. She doesn’t need rescuing, she’s not some damsel.” Her eyes flash, sharp and cold. “She’s just not thinking about you. Why is that so hard for you to accept?”
“How do you know that?” I ask, voice low. For a second, something flickers behind her eyes. She recovers quickly, giving me a condescending smile.
“Because I know her better than you do. We’ve been through more than you can imagine. You’re not in her orbit, you’re just… an annoyance.”
That lands harder than I want it to. Anita leans back in her chair, a satisfied smirk on her lips as if she’s already won something I don’t understand.
And maybe she has. But I can’t afford to care.
I leave without letting her confuse me more. With every step, her words echo in my mind.
Benson and Thea.
Holed up in his room.
My chest aches as doubt creeps in. Could it really be that simple? No. Thea wouldn’t disappear like this. Not without a word. And Benson, Benson’s my friend, he wouldn’t do that to me. Would he?
I call. No answer. I rush to Benson’s dorm, heart pounding. When I get there, no one’s home.
I head to Otherfell and a security guard comes running up to me.
“Zair?” he calls, slightly out of breath.
“How can I help you, officer?” I ask, manners coming out.
“It’s about Thea.”