60. Thea
Thea
Death, Time Travel, and Other Casual Topics
My arm is killing me. My head throbs as I shift. Vision swimming. Someone is running their fingers through my hair, gently, carrying the faint scent of earth and sweat. Blinking, I see Benson’s face above me, frowning in pain. It takes me a moment to realize my head is in his lap.
“B?” My voice cracks.
His eyes snap down to me.
“Thea,” he exhales sharply. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah. I’m good,” I grit out.
“Grunt threw you in here, and you passed out cold,” B says, his voice low and strained, as though even speaking costs him.
I try to sit up, and B steadies me, but his grip is frail, a grimace dominating his features.
“How are you feeling?” I ask, my voice shaky as B shifts, reaching out to knock on the metal wall. The sound reverberates in the enclosed room. “What are you doing?”
“Getting their attention,” he replies.
Before I can argue, the door creaks open, and a goblin steps inside.
It’s not Grunt, but one of his lackeys, the one with red hair.
His gaze studies me, then shifts to the small pile I hadn’t noticed before: food, a case of water, ten boxes of pencils, a—an oddly shaped rock, and what appears to be a child’s stuffed bear missing an eye.
“You’re awake.” The relief obvious in his voice. “How are you feeling, miss?”
I’m confused by his worry, but I tell him I’m okay.
The goblin fidgets for a moment before nodding.
“We—we brought you some pencils,” he says, like he hopes I’ll forgive him.
“We tried to convince boss to get you a healer, but he refused. But we got you a brace.” He squats down next to me, helping me put the brace on my arm.
I can’t help but notice how sad he looks.
“Thank you.” I give him a small smile that makes me taste iron as my lip reopens. He looks sadder.
“If you need something, you can knock.” He stands. “Please get better.”
He leaves as quickly as he came, shutting the door behind him.
“What was that about?” I ask B.
He gives me a half-smile, though his concern is still evident.
“Goblins don’t do well when women are hurt or in trouble. We’re… wired that way.”
“They kidnapped me,” I point out.
“And now they’re freaking out that a woman protected by favors has been hurt on their watch,” he counters gently.
I open my mouth to argue but close it again. The truth was that the interruption had given me enough of a pause to steady my breathing. I hurt. Everywhere.
“I didn’t know that was part of the favor, one of them said they could smell it on me,” I hedge, hoping for clarification.
“Yes, it’s not something we usually advertise, but you are — well, should be, very protected from goblins after all the favors you’ve gotten,” he says, his voice tinged with frustration.
He reaches out to cup my face. I wince a little as he touches what must be a huge bruise. “How many times did they hit you?”
“It was only Grunt, the others refused.”
“I’m not surprised,” he says. “No goblin with any honor would.”
“Well, they might not have hit so hard,” I joke but he doesn’t laugh.
“Tell me honestly Thea,” B says, his voice breaking slightly. “One of the goblins said you didn’t even react when he hit you. What the hell have you been through?”
I look away. We don’t have time for this.
“How long was I out? How much time did we lose?” I ask, fumbling for the nail I hid earlier.
B’s hands close around mine, halting my frantic movements.
“Stop, look at me.” He waits until I make eye contact. “Who’s Lazlo?”
I feel the blood drain from my face.
“Where did you hear that name?”
“You were calling out for them.”
The empathy in his eyes knocks down the walls I no longer have the strength to hold.
“I don’t know. When I died, I lost him,” I whisper, the words almost breaking me.
But once I start, it all pours out. “I can’t keep doing this, B.
I can’t keep pretending like I have everything under control when I don’t.
” I look down at the brand on my wrist. “I’ve been through hell, literally.
Lazlo is or was my mate. He was everything to me.
But… I lost him. I messed up the timeline, I’ve already lived this life, and this didn’t happen.
You’re here because of me. The cuff is draining you, and I don’t know how much longer you have before…
before it’s too late. I don’t know if I can fix this, or if there’s even a way to stop it.
I don’t know how much time we’ve lost already. ”
A lump forms in my throat as I grab the nail, trying to focus on it, anything to keep my mind from spiraling.
I’m thankful Grunt broke my left arm, because it would be impossible to use the nail.
B is quiet for a long time. The silence presses in, thick and suffocating.
I wonder if I said too much. Finally, B speaks, his voice soft and full of concern.
“How, how long until you die?”
“Couple months. I’m not sure,” I tell him. “I was taken over Christmas break, and it was late spring or summer when I die.”
“I—that’s a lot,” he says. “I don’t know much about time travel, but I do know this… us being here, it isn’t your fault.”
“How could it not be?” I retort, the tension rising in my chest. “They’re trying to scare me off goblins because of the incident in the dining hall.”
“You think this was Anita?” he asks.
“Who do you think kills me?” I snap, anger rising as I finally let myself feel everything.
“She wants my magic and has been throwing spaghetti at the wall, seeing what sticks. She’s tried manipulating Zair, tried cursing you, now she’s kidnapping me to make me rush back to her.
If I hadn’t asked you to walk me home, you’d be in your dorm or hanging out with Zair and Dylan. ”
My chest rises and falls with my rage.
“Honestly, her being the one to kill you is the most believable part of this whole situation.” B’s eyes narrow slightly. “Have you told Zair?”
I shake my head. “No.”
“You have to tell him. He’d help you. He’d do anything for you.”
I hesitate, chewing on my bottom lip.
“I really like Zair. Too much,” I admit aloud. The truth of it scares me more than it shocks me.
“Then why won’t you date him?” he asks.
“Lazlo gave up his life for me. I—I can’t do anything until I find him.
” I drop my gaze to my hands. “I’m terrified that if Zair knew everything…
he’d leave too.” The words slip out before I can stop them.
“Zair wants more, I know that. I try not to lead him on. Maybe it’s selfish, maybe even cruel to keep him close when I know I can’t give him the kind of love he deserves. But—”
“—It’s not,” B says, cutting through my spiral. “For what it’s worth, I think Zair would stick around.”
“But if I don’t fix this… and I die again…” I trail off, the words heavier than I mean them to be. “There’s no way forward that doesn’t hurt him. It would be better for him if we weren’t friends, but I can’t stop.”
“If Lazlo loved you enough to give up his life for you, he’d want you to live it, not waste it waiting for him. Especially if you only have a few months.”
Meeting his eyes, I exhale slowly.
“Meeting you guys… it’s been the best thing to happen to me since I came back,” I tell him honestly. “If I let myself love Zair, I’ll be betraying Lazlo. But… I think I already have.”
B’s energy seems to wane, each breath shallow and strained.
The spark of magic within him looks like it’s flickering, struggling to stay alive.
He’s caught up in this mess because of me, and now he’s paying the price for my mistakes.
I feel the tears on my cheeks, the first ones since this whole ordeal began.
But they aren’t because of the pain, they’re because I realized that I might die alone this time.
Or worse, that I might take them with me.