Chapter 13 #3
“Not true. Some are scared, some are angry, but those thugs were manipulated by Holy States agitators. It’s not the feeling of the city.”
“Oh, come on, Idris. I’ve seen the graffiti, heard the insults and grumblings.
I’ve had bricks thrown at me, blood dumped on me, terrible items sent to me.
Last night wasn’t a snap decision. They deliberately planned an attack to make you Maestrus.
” I say it quietly. “They were doing it for you, in your name. They said as much more than once.”
“I’m nothing to do with those people,” Idris snarls, face twisting in disgust. “I have never hated my name more.”
I didn’t mean to upset him. A beat passes between us before I try and sidetrack this ugly conversation.
“Don’t say that,” I tease quietly. “Idris isn’t that terrible…”
He snorts at that, shaking his head with exasperated amusement.
“Any excuse to take a shot with you!”
“I don’t have many wins at the moment. I’ll take what I can get.” I sigh before forcing myself to take a bite of my breakfast. It’s delicious of course; the dusting of paprika really drawing out the flavours.
Idris seems satisfied with that and he tucks into his own food.
“If you want it, it’s yours,” I say quietly.
“Want what?” he asks around a mouthful of eggs and potato.
“Maestrus. I’ll hand it over today,” I answer. Idris looks at me like I’ve sprouted two heads. He swallows sharply, before answering like it was obvious.
“I don’t want to be Maestrus.”
“I don’t want it either,” I mumble. Idris leans closer, his head dropping to catch my eye, but I refuse to meet it. Instead I pick at the food in my hands.
“I said it last night and I’ll say it again. You are a masterful Maestrus, Renza. You’re doing a remarkable job.”
“I’m falling apart,” I counter, my voice little stronger than a whisper. It could’ve been lost on the fresh sea breeze, but Idris won’t let it slip.
“No,” Idris says seriously. “You’re struggling under the pressure, trying to do everything.
That’s entirely different. It’s also more than fair enough.
No one was ever supposed to carry the weight of this city alone.
I’m sure anyone would feel the same, me included.
But just because you’re the one with the final decision-making power doesn’t mean you have to do it all, and certainly not alone.
That was never the idea of Maestrus. You have help.
Use it. Delegate more. Hand things over.
Lean on those who are ready and wanting to support you.
Giulia is half tearing her hair out to help, from what I’ve heard. Emilia, Serra, Michelle, Alfieri—”
“You’ve heard?” I ask, amused. “You haven’t spoken with her?”
“Giulia hasn’t forgiven me for the incident at your house a few days ago,” Idris admits with a grimace. “Truthfully, it wasn’t my finest moment.”
“You were so angry with me,” I mumble, eyes on my food, refusing to look at him. “I don’t understand. All I did was make you the next Maestrus should something happen.”
Idris gives a dry, humourless laugh as though it were obvious.
“I was angry because your plans, while often brilliant, have an alarming habit of including self-sacrifice.”
“No, I—”
“Do you want the list of evidence?” counters Idris.
“First you decided to sneak around after armed Church Militia in the middle of the night because they were stealing – on your own. Then you decided to play spy and sneak around Bellandi’s office for information.
Then you wanted to sacrifice yourself as a way to talk to him and rally the people – and that was within the first few weeks of my knowing you.
I haven’t even started on those fake peace talks with Nouis and cutting the bridge over the ravine—”
“Okay, okay.” I try to cut him off with a small groan. “I hear you.”
“I was angry because I was scared. I thought it was a sign you were planning some grand scheme where…” Idris rubs his jaw. “I was frightened. I’m sorry for the way I spoke to you.”
“And I to you,” I reply, rubbing the back of my neck. The dock is beginning to fill with people now as the work day starts.
“I should get to work. After everything, people need to see I’m alright … or at least breathing. I should go to the High Chamber.” I clear my throat.
“We should,” Idris adjusts lightly. “And sure, let’s go. But first, tell me what you need.”
“Need?”
“We just talked about you not doing this alone. After everything, surely you have a job for me.” Idris turns to face me, a teasing smile on his face. “So, Maestrus, what are my orders?”
I sigh and bite my lip.
“I need you to stand with me and help me unite this city,” I say, “to rid us of this cannibalising division between our people, otherwise Halice will be destroyed before the Holy States army even crosses our borders.”
Idris nods, as though expecting that. But he smiles, reclaiming my hand in his. His fingers are searing, but so familiar I could sink into the broiling sensation forever. He lifts our joint hands to his lips, brushing a light, fiery kiss over my knuckles. His determined gaze meets mine.
“Okay. Then here is my plan.”