9. Chapter 9
As the light of dawn pierced through the veil of night, a hushed silence blanketed the Underworld. Ghosts and spirits returned to their slumber, the stars ended their light show, and even the cacophony of constant castanet-clacking ceased. Yes, all was still in the Underworld Motel, as residents returned to their beds, or graves. Which made it the perfect opportunity for one mortal to go snooping.
Zoe tiptoed across the bedchamber, wincing at every creak of the floorboard, while she rubbed the sleep from her eyes. She’d had her fair share of sleepless nights in noisy motel rooms while traveling for work, but between the Phantom Fiestadores’ endless music, and Spooks’ impromptu trumpeting performance beneath her bedroom window, the Underworld Motel had to break some kind of record. She peered out of the window, to see the remnants of the festivities below. As she glanced at the colorful bunting, the party streamers, and the makeshift dance floor, she realized with surprise that it looked… fun.
She shook her head and forced the feeling to one side, before she studied the maze in the distance. Right now, she didn’t have time for fun. She needed to focus. As she returned to her sleuthing, she glanced at the repurposed fish tank, where the mote of light watched her curiously.
“Hey, don’t give me that look. I haven’t endured the horrors of Tartarus and Spooks’ trumpeting for nothing. I need to find the treasure of the Underworld, before it’s too late. And I’m betting there must be a key to open those gates around here somewhere.” A buzz of disapproval drifted from the flickering light as Zoe peered into chests and drawers. “Besides, Shadow said the Underworld exists to help people find their greatest treasure in life. Well, what could be better than being named as Mr. Gravesend’s successor? It’s a win-win!”
Zoe pulled open another drawer, only to yelp in surprise at its contents. Pairs of black silk boxer shorts lay before her, while Shadow’s masculine scent lingered in the air. Her eyes widened as she spied a pair of heart-print briefs, tucked away in the back of the drawer.
“On second thoughts, perhaps the King of the Underworld’s bedroom isn’t the best place to look.” Zoe pushed the drawer closed, while her cheeks burned in embarrassment. “Maybe I can take a look around the motel while everyone else is asleep.”
Zoe eased the door open, wincing at every squeak of the hinges, before she tiptoed through the silent corridors of the Underworld Motel. She glanced above her, to see Spooks perched on the wrought-iron chandelier in the central lobby, gently snoring as he swung back and forth. She watched as his lips curled into a smile and he giggled softly, no doubt causing further mischief in his dreams, before she descended the staircase and began her hunt.
She crept into each room, rifling through dusty boxes and ancient drawers for any sign of the key. But no matter how many nooks and crannies she searched, it was nowhere to be found. She sighed in frustration, only to draw a startled breath as something stirred in the nearby shadows.
“Who’s there?” Zoe’s voice quivered with fear as a snuffling sound drifted from the gloom. “Show yourself!”
Three pairs of doleful eyes peered at Zoe from the darkness, followed by the excited skittering of paws on the wooden floor. She sighed in relief as Cerberus bounded from the darkness, his tail wagging in greeting.
“Did your master send you to spy on me too?” Zoe scratched Cerberus’ foreheads, until an idea crossed her mind. “Well, you might not be much of a guard dog, but you have a knack for digging up objects around this place. So why don’t we play a little game?”
Cerberus barked in excitement, before he spun in circles. Zoe laughed at the dog’s delight, before she lowered her voice to a whisper.
“Okay, I need your help to find a key. Specifically, one that unlocks the gate outside.” Zoe looked at the giant dog hopefully. “And in return, I’ll give you all the treats you could possibly want from Misty’s kitchen.”
Cerberus’ eyes gleamed, while he drooled at the mere thought. With a merry bark, he scampered through the motel, before he led Zoe to a coffin-shaped dog bed. He snuffled with excitement as he rooted around its contents, sending objects flying as he dug deeper into his treasure trove of stolen goods. Zoe ducked out of the way as old bones, urns and even a skull flew past her, until the giant dog proudly presented her with the object of his attention.
“Good boy!” But Zoe’s smile faded as she peered at the object held within the dog’s jaws. “Wait, is that a…”
A high-pitched squeaking sound filled the air, as Cerberus chewed excitedly on a rubber duck. Zoe sighed as the dog dropped his toy at her feet, while his tail wagged through the air like an overly-excited wiper blade.
“That’s not quite what I had in mind, Cerberus. Can you find the key?” Zoe elongated her vowels as she tried to communicate with the playful pup. “The k-e-y. Do you understand?”
Cerberus barked, before he took off once more. Zoe chased after him, following the creature into the motel grounds. She watched as he dug through the earth, sending a shower of dirt behind him to retrieve whatever lay buried within.
“What have you got there?” Zoe looked curiously as Cerberus placed a slobbery object in her hands, until her eyes widened in horror. “Is that… ugh, gross, I said a key, not a knee!”
Zoe grimaced as the dog merrily chewed the leg bone of whatever poor creature it had once belonged to. But as he sniffed the air and took off once more, Zoe sighed in resignation. The guard dog of the Underworld might not give Lassie much competition, but he was the best lead she had.
Zoe chased after Cerberus, weaving around the gardens in an endless loop. She watched as the dog suspiciously sniffed behind withered plants and gravestones, and followed him as he sped back into the motel. Whatever trail the dog was following had him running faster than an over-excited squirrel at a nut convention. And maybe, just maybe, it would be the ticket to unlocking the treasure of the Underworld.
Zoe chased after Cerberus, speeding through the motel rooms, leaving nothing but a plume of dust in their wake. She rounded a corner and burst through the doors of Misty’s saloon, until she bent double to catch her breath.
“This must be one heck of a trail for you to run like that. Now what do we have here?” But Zoe groaned in despair as she spotted the subject of Cerberus’ hunt. “Oh, for crying out loud…”
A tantalizing scent of freshly cooked bacon wafted from the counter of the saloon, filling the chamber with a mouth-watering aroma. With a joyful bark, Cerberus leaped onto a nearby bar stool and devoured the platter in one smooth bite, before shooting Zoe a merry grin. Zoe sighed as the giant dog licked his lips clean, and took her place at the counter. So much for discovering the treasure of the Underworld. All she’d discovered was Cerberus’ ability to devour an entire platter of bacon in less than a second.
As Cerberus contentedly stretched to snooze off his morning feast, Zoe thought back to her night with Shadow. She retrieved her camera and studied the photos she had taken, reminiscing on the dreams she had once had. Dreams of traveling the globe, and sharing photos of nature’s wonders with the world. Dreams breathing new life into long-lost places. Dreams she had forgotten since taking her job with Mr. Gravesend.
“Why, with a face like that, you’ll give the gargoyles a run for their money.” Misty appeared in a puff of emerald smoke, before she poured Zoe a fresh mug of coffee. “Whatever’s the matter?”
“Oh, it’s nothing.” Zoe sighed, and tried to free her mind of her worries. “Just some work troubles.”
“Listen, darlin’, I’ve worked in this saloon my entire afterlife, and I’ve seen all types of ghosts float through these doors. And if there’s one thing I’ve learned from listening to their regrets, it’s this.” Misty slid the coffee cup across the bar, and into Zoe’s hands. “Never forget to appreciate the magic in life. Because one day, it’ll be too late.”
Zoe glanced from her camera, and back to her work files.
“Try telling that to my boss. If I don’t hit my deadline, I’m as good as dead.”
“A problem shared is a problem halved. I’m sure if we put our heads together, we can find a solution.” Misty smiled kindly, sending a wave of guilt flooding through Zoe. “Why, I could bring everyone together. Spooks, the Phantom Fiestadores, Shadow…”
“No, that’s not necessary…” Zoe spluttered awkwardly, before she gathered her work files. “I… I should head back to work.”
But Zoe drew a startled breath as Misty appeared beside her in a puff of heavily perfumed smoke.
“Oh, I see what’s going on here.”
Zoe gulped as Misty inched closer. “You do?”
“Of course. All the signs are there.” Misty’s eyebrow arced knowingly. “The blushing of your cheeks at the mention of the master’s name. That faraway look in your eyes as you think about him. Your romantic night-time stargazing at the Throne of the Underworld…”
“I nearly plummeted to my death. I’d hardly call that romantic…”
“There’s only one possible conclusion.” Misty drew herself to her full height, thrusting her impressive cleavage forwards. “You have a crush on the master!”
Zoe drew a startled breath, before she laughed in relief. What was it with these ghosts and their terrible intuition?
“That’s not…”
“Oh, there’s no use denying it, darlin’. My bartender’s intuition isn’t tingling for nothing!” Misty floated through the air and batted her eyelashes suggestively. “Let me guess. Does your heart flutter whenever you lay eyes on him? Do your fleshie hands grow clammy to the touch? Do you lie awake at night, tossing and turning, wishing he’d join you in those silk sheets of his?”
“No, listen, you’ve got this wrong.”
“Love can bloom in the most unlikely of places, even here in the Underworld. And who knows, it might just be the very thing to bring the magic back to this place. But for now, it will be our little secret.” Misty let loose a high-pitched titter, before she dusted her hands on her apron. “Now, you’ll have to excuse me, ma’am. The Spectral Soirée is right around the corner, and there’s so much to do. The catacombs need sweeping, the invitations need to be sent, and every gravestone needs to sparkle!”
Without another word, Misty disappeared in a puff of smoke, leaving nothing but the lingering scent of her perfume behind. Zoe groaned in despair as she thought of the ghost’s so-called bartender’s intuition. Sure, Shadow’s godly looks and brooding charm might appeal to some, but Zoe simply didn’t have the time to have a crush on anyone. Besides, she might have seen several unbelievable sights during her time in the Underworld, but there was one thing that its magic couldn’t overcome. The living just simply didn’t date the dead.
“Fleshie alert! Fleshie alert!”
Zoe snapped out of her thoughts as Spooks sped into the saloon bar, wailing in the perfect imitation of a police siren. He approached in a cloud of blue smoke, while his eyes gleamed with one thing. Mischief.
“Spooks, what’s the matter?”
“I’ll tell you what’s the matter.” Spooks skidded along the saloon bar, before he came to a screeching stop before her. “You fleshies are like busses in the night. You wait five hundred years for one to come along, and then two of you arrive at once!”
Zoe drew a breath in surprise. “You mean, there’s another human in the Underworld?”
“Bingo! Which means it’s time for us to have some fun…”
Zoe groaned as the poltergeist broke into a roguish smile. “I’ve told you, I don’t have time for fun. I need to focus on work…”
“Exactly! And if you’re going to write an award-winning scoop about this town, then you’ll need to see how we pass the time here.” Spooks chuckled in delight. “Which means it’s time for a game of Frighten the Fleshie!”
“I really don’t have time for…”
Zoe yelped as Spooks took her hand, and pulled her at top speed into the desert. With a merry toot, he chugged along like a runaway steam train, emitting clouds of blue smoke that drifted into the sky.
“Oh, there’s nothing quite like a game of Frighten the Fleshie! Trust me, you haven’t lived until you’ve played it.” Spooks plucked a gigantic glowing water gun from thin air, with a maniacal cackle. “It’s the perfect opportunity to give the Ecto-3000 its first outing! This way, your fleshie friend will find it impossible to ignore me!”
Zoe shook her head in despair. Even without her gift, she couldn’t help but think it was impossible to ignore the mischief-making jester. They veered towards a patch of overgrown shrubbery, before Spooks skidded to a halt and pointed to a gap between the snow-covered branches.
“Over there!”
Zoe parted the branches, and peered into a small clearing perched on a cliff edge, that overlooked the valleys below. A parked car stood idle nearby, while a figure of a man stood in the shadows, talking loudly on his phone.
“You see!” Spooks readied the glowing gun, and pointed the oversized barrel towards himself. “Oh, this will be so much fun. If my calculations are correct, one shot from the Ecto-3000 and I’ll glow brighter than a firefly convention. Finally, I’ll get to perform my best pranks and tricks for fleshie eyes!”
“I don’t know about this, Spooks…”
“Oh, lighten up a little.” Spooks somersaulted through the air, before he fired up the gun. “Now, let’s give him the fright of his life on the count of three. One…”
Zoe pulled the branch lower and peered into the clearing. There was something so familiar about that man’s voice. And she couldn’t help but get the feeling that she’d heard it before.
“Two…”
A series of strange flashing lights and beeps erupted from the gun, while a glowing mass of goo bubbled excitedly inside. But despite the spectacle beside her, Zoe peered closer at the man in the clearing.
“One!”
Zoe drew a startled breath as the man stepped from the shadows and into the sunlight. She turned to the poltergeist in horror as the gun whirred to life.
“Spooks, no!”
Zoe braced herself as a click of the trigger filled the air. She waited for an explosion of goo. For a spectacle of lights. For pandemonium to erupt. But as a foul-smelling smoke drifted from the barrel of the gun, Spooks peered at the gadget in confusion.
“Huh, that’s weird. I could have sworn it would work this time–”
Spooks yelped as a mass of gloop fired from the gun, catapulting him hundreds of feet into the distance. The force of the shockwave sent Zoe stumbling into the clearing, until she spluttered on the rotten stench of the Ecto-3000 smoke. She staggered to her feet, only for her stomach to lurch as the newcomer’s voice filled the clearing.
“Zoe?”
Zoe cursed as she was greeted by a flawless smile of overly-whitened teeth. It was a smile that never failed to make her blood boil. A smile that told her she wasn’t the only one interested in the Underworld’s treasure. She gritted her teeth, until she met the newcomer’s gaze with a frosty glare.
“Swindleton. What an unexpected surprise.”