Ana #2
Slowly, the arm peeled from my body, its warmth leaving me. I watched its motion, surprised that instead of a hoof was a pale hand. Five long fingers were splayed over the dark fabric, the nails covered in bruises.
I averted my gaze; more questions would arise and remain unanswered. I swallowed and descended on the cold stone.
All of a sudden, the way down was illuminated by torches, their flames too close to me. One by one, I threaded carefully not to fall over the narrow stairs.
My legs were unsure, but I willed myself to hold my head down, blocking the image of its hand on my waist.
Because earlier, it was not a goat. Its hand was a human hand. A powerful hand, which managed to pull me without effort.
What was happening?
Another thing I had noticed was that instead of a clang of hooves, I couldn’t discern another sound other than the one of my opinci stepping on the stairs.
As the mystery of the creature behind me intensified, we descended into the most enchanting cave.
In the middle of the chamber was a large pool of crystal-clear water. The light of the torches reflected in it, creating a fairytale before my eyes.
“What is this place?” I asked, looking at the ceiling, water dripping into the pool like summer rain. The gentle splash of the droplets was more than inviting to bathe in the water and join their shimmer.
“It is the cave where all of us Souls Rippers get the mask we have to wear for eternity.”
I swirled to it, my mouth open. “You mean I must undergo the same ritual as you? Will I be immortal? Will I see my family again? What mask would I have? A goat, too?” I said the last sentence with fear in my voice, my hands starting to fret.
My chin dipped, hopeful that the Goat Man would not take it as disgust for its body.
“You do have a lot of questions, and I will try my best to describe the process.” Its arms went behind its back, the hood still lingering on the face.
“Are you cowering behind that cloak?” My eyes were fixed on the hood, my eyebrows frowning. At least with the skull, I could look into the abyss. But then it looked as if the Goat Man was intimidated.
A spark came from a torch, distracting my attention from the Goat Man. It seemed peculiar, but not of import. I turned back to the creature.
Its chest rose, a loud inhale, and then the cloak was down, piling on the floor.
My eyes roamed over its hooves and fur until they stopped on the skull.
It was not there a few seconds ago.
“You’re naked!” I shouted, placing my hands over my eyes as if I saw the devil. My cheeks burned, and as much as I tried to hide it, my breath quickened.
“Well, well. You are pure… in every sense,” his voice drawled, carrying its weight over the walls. Its tone was muffled by the large skull.
Its laughter bounced off the walls, sounding closer to me. “Haven’t you seen goats until now, peasant? I assumed you grew up with them,” it chuckled, the sound deep. “You can lower your arms. I bet you will see much worse in the days to come.” Its innuendo was not lost on me.
I wouldn’t do that even if I were dead.
Seeing that I cannot be persuaded, it sighed and moved past me. Its permanent smell of wax and old tomes hit me, intensifying every sensation I had.
The images of the brute’s full body kept resurfacing one after another behind my eyes. I pushed my arms harder on my lids, making myself see stars. Perhaps, in that way, I could forget it.
Despite the cold from the cave, my skin felt warmer. At fault must have been the coat it forced on me.
“Fine, we will do it this way, then,” it lamented.
After a few moments, I heard the water splash, each footfall of it registering in my mind.
“I am covered by glacier water. Would you look at me now?”
Still, I did not move my arms, my breathing slowing down, and my skin feeling ablaze.
“Or are you afraid of me?” Its voice sounded ashamed, like I was hurting him. It was the first time he talked without anger or mockery in his voice.
At once, I took my hands off my face. My cheeks were still warm, and I didn’t dare to look at the Goat Man. So, I pushed my head upwards, admiring the ceiling. My eyes opened to stalactites with dripping water over their tips.
“I am still here, you know?” it asked, the water moving around.
My mind took a stray path, down the road of me having to take the lives of two people. “I know,” I breathed, closing my eyes again. I couldn’t escape its presence, even if I wanted to.
Drops of water fell on my face as tears. I wiped them, keeping my eyes on the pointy stalactites.
“Then why are you not looking at me?”
“You said to take off my arms. I did that,” I argued, trying not to faint from all the emotions “Now, please, answer my questions.” My voice was softer than a breeze, my heart fluttering in my chest like a bird in its cage.
I chastised myself for not wearing my metanie, the black beaded bracelet my mother had from priest Neagu. She gave that to me when I turned ten years old. At least it would have given me courage with the devil from my left.
Neither Angelica nor I had any jewellery; only these metanii. It is said to protect us from every evil, since they were drenched in holy water.
“Yes, you will pass through the same ritual as I. After I bathed in this water, my master, who will become yours as well, will have to baptise you in this same pool,” it took a deep breath before continuing. “Or as we all know it, the Souls’ Pool.”
“The one you are tainting with that naked body?” I said, squirming inside of me.
“Do I have to remind you that you bathe in a river?” it mocked.
“You…”
Its laughter filled my thoughts. The Goat Man saw me naked?
The beast wouldn’t stop roaring, the sound making me want to hit the skull with a broom constantly. Another wave of heat crossed my cheeks.
“I…haven’t…seen…” it was out of breath by the time he finished his sentence, “you… in your Eve’s costume!”
“Amusing.” I sighed, closing my eyes. “Do you take me for a fool, Goat Man?”
It coughed, stopping his roaring. “A fool, not. A feeble human, yes.”
With the corner of my eye, I saw the Goat straightening its skull.
“I did not, nor will I see you naked, human.”
“Alright. Let us not tarry on matters of bare flesh,” I muttered in my chest.
Chuckling, he continued. “Every one of us has two forms. One, which is this, with the skull that we choose at the baptism. And our human form. You will be presented with two skulls on your baptism day.”
“Human form?” I repeated, blinking. “Why don’t you use it?”
“And to be fragile? No, thank you.”
Ignoring its response, I wiped water again from my face. “But I am baptised,” I remarked, my hands crossing my chest.
“No, human. Not by a god. Your god does not offer you bodily eternity. My master, does.”
“But I do not want eternity! My God promises that my soul will live forever in Heaven.”
It snorted, delicate splashes surrounding its body. “You still seem to think that after you keep the part from our contract, you will get there?”
Anguish captured my body. It was right, what if I won’t see my family in the skies? What if we were separated by Earth? Or them in Heaven and I in Hell?
“But, returning to your previous questions, as I, you will become immortal. You won’t feel sickness, nor injuries,” the Goat said, the water moving around its body. “You will not feel hunger as you do now, your throat won’t be dry as it is now.”
“But I’ve seen you eat and drink, like any of us.”
At least that is what I gathered from Andrei, who cooked meals more than my mother and me. Each day, he prepared a different recipe and would frown when I would try and help him.
The Goat Man sighed. My neck was getting strained, and my muscles were in pain from keeping my eyes on the ceiling.
“I said that you won’t feel hunger as you do now. But you will still feel it.”
I bit my cheek. Then I voiced the words that stood behind my doubt. “I cannot kill any man, woman or child,” I murmured, noticing a small gap in the ceiling. No light came through; the night must have set already for good.
“Not even if they were…evil?” it tried.
“I do not think so…” I replied, trying to conjure any memory I had when my father raised his hands at my sister or me. But not once have I wished his death.
“Hmm…”
The sound rumbled on my skin, raising goosebumps again. It crawled on the surface as though spiders weaved their webs on my skin, making it hotter than it should have been.
I heard him take a deep breath. “I saw your life before I took you. And after.”
“What do you mean by that?” I almost looked at the brute, forgetting its undressed state.