Chapter 26
SWAYZE
“Uncle ZeZe! I miss youuuuuu. Where’s Mia? I wanna say hi. I miss her too.”
I chuckle down at my cell screen, my niece’s smiling little face filling the entire view.
“Hi, Nugget. I’m sorry, she’s still sleeping in our room. I’m by the pool, wanna see?” I scan my surroundings, showing her the view.
“No fair, I wanna be there too. I hate school.” She pouts, her little lower lip wobbling.
“I’m sorry honey, but we both know you don’t hate school. I’ll make sure I take lots of photos and we can have a sleepover when I’m back and show you.”
“Yeah! With Mia?” Her hopeful, excited gaze sucker punches me in the gut. Fuck knows what state our friendship will be in by the time we get back.
Swallowing my apprehension, I force a grin on my face. “Of course, Nugget. She misses you too.”
Izzy squeals before pulling something out of a bag beside her.
“I’m so happy you love each other now. I’m so excited for your wedding. Look, Mommy got me a ‘Punzel dress. Maybe I can wear that?” Her hopeful gaze connects with mine, but thankfully I’m saved from responding when my sister grabs the phone.
“Izzy, what did I tell you about FaceTiming people on my phone?” I hear a muffled apology as my sister moves away.
“Hey, Ze, how you doing? Having fun?” Her eyes finally drop to the screen when she sits in her kitchen and her brows fall. “Hey, what’s wrong?”
Concern etches across her face and I’m starting to wish I’d avoided the call.
“Nothing’s wrong, Ellie. I’m just chilling by the ocean with a coffee.”
“Tell that to your face, bro. What’s going on?” Her voice drops to practically a whisper.
“Is it Mia? Are you guys okay?”
“Totally fine. She’s got a headache, so I’m letting her sleep it off alone. We’ve partied a bit too hard these last few days.”
She bites her lip, eyeing me warily. God, I hate having to lie.
Just as she goes to say something, we hear a bang and Izzy crying from the other room. She mutters a curse and tells me to make sure I call her if I need to talk before hanging up in a rush.
Sighing in relief that I can drop the act, I slide my cell on the table and stare back out at the ocean. It’s dancing and sparkling happily in total contrast to my mood.
It’s been twenty-four hours since our showdown after goat yoga and Mia and I have barely spoken. We slept in the same bed last night but she was careful to stay on her side.
Not so much as a pinky crossed the border and made contact—I hated it.
All night I tossed and turned before eventually giving up and sitting out by the pool.
It’s crazy how quickly I’ve gotten attached to sleeping with her in my arms, and I’m low key terrified that I’ll never sleep again without her warm body curled into mine. I’ve fucked myself real good there.
And as if that wasn’t bad enough, she cried. In all the years of our friendship, I can count the number of times she’s done that in front of me on one hand.
The day she caught Pete cheating, she called me in tears. I left work, drove straight there, and moved her in with me that same day.
Twice were during movies—Titanic and Last Christmas—and once at a funeral.
Mia doesn’t let anyone see her cry. Even seeing the signs is rare. Her tear-streaked face yesterday wrecked me.
The fact that I might be the cause of those tears? Honestly, I’d sooner take a punch to the dick. My stomach’s been churning with fire since I watched that tear slip down her face.
But I know her all too well. I can’t push her to talk to me. I just need to give her space to figure things out.
That’s why I’m right back here today. I’m surprised this chair doesn’t have an imprint of my ass given how long I’ve spent sitting here these last twenty-four hours.
This morning, I slipped out of bed before she even woke up and I’ve been here ever since nursing an iced coffee that tastes more like watered down dishwater at this point.
I’m dying for a beer, but given the shitshow I’ve found myself in again, alcohol and I are on a break.
At least until this trip is over.
I don’t know what the fuck happened between us or how to fix it. I know what we did the other night was stupid and reckless. I’m not a total moron.
But I wanted it.
We both did.
She said she goaded me into it. Is she somehow blaming herself?
Does she think she’s pushing me into things I don’t want to do? Because that couldn’t be further from the truth.
Fuck, the things I want to do with this woman wouldn’t fit in a five-hundred page book.
There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for her if I’m totally honest.
Hell, I’m supposed to uphold the law, but I’d willingly go down for murdering that douchebag ex of hers. If I find out he said something to cause this, he’ll be eating sand at the bottom of the Aegean Sea before the day’s out.
I almost hope it’s something like that, because if it isn’t, then it can only mean it’s me.
What if she regrets it altogether? She rejected me once already. Maybe she’s got fuckers’ remorse—like buyers’ but, well, you get it.
Regardless of my feelings, I thought we’d at least made some headway toward fixing our friendship. Almost bringing it back to where it used to be before sex muddled everything.
Although, I guess maybe that’s it—we’ve come full circle.
We screwed, so we screwed up the friendship all over again.
Sighing, I drag a hand through my hair just as Nick pulls out a chair and collapses beside me.
“Uh oh. That doesn't sound good. My sister told you to fuck off already?” There’s amusement in his voice, but I don’t miss the steely look in his eyes.
Well, I fucked her already—right beside you on the beach the other night. Came inside her too, but now she’ll barely speak to me. How’s that?
He’d be ready to kick my ass in a heartbeat, which, fair. I’m tempted to kick my own ass, and I don’t even know what I’ve done wrong.
If I don’t figure it out asap, it’s gonna be the longest week of my life.
Things were going well, too. So fucking well.
I’m not talking about the sex, although that was phenomenal. But the honesty, the laughter, the joking.
So much joking… I found the cheeky Post-it note she left me in the shower.
Eyes up, Lieutenant. Peepshows aren’t in the package. M x
I’d had my reply planned out, but somehow I don’t think my response—
Invoice me, I’ll happily overpay. S x
—will land so well anymore.
“You good, bro?” Nick questions again, shifting in his seat to eye me curiously, obviously waiting for my response.
“Yeah, all good. Mia had a headache, so I came out to give her some space to rest. Didn’t want any work calls interrupting her.”
“Damn. Is she okay? Does she need anything? We can call for supplies.” He pulls out his phone, fingers poised.
Oh hell, I don’t want to spend too long on this line of questioning. I don’t need that getting around and blindsiding her, considering I have no fucking idea if she’s even still in our room. She could be on her way here right now for all I know.
“She’s good. She just needed to catch up on some sleep. Don’t worry. I’m heading back there now, anyway.”
He nods, his gaze drifting to the ocean.
“You sure you’re okay man? I know we don’t see each other as often since I moved to London but you’re still my best friend. You dating her doesn’t change that… well, unless you fuck her over, but we covered that. You know I got you if something’s going on right?”
Sucker punch me right in the gut, why don’t you.
Fuck, I hate lying to him.
Nick’s a good guy and he’s handled me dating his sister weirdly well. I thought I’d for sure be rocking a black eye or two.
But then again, no one wants the best man looking like he’s gone three rounds with Mike Tyson in their wedding photos, right?
“All good, dude. Just thinking about some work shit I need to deal with when I get back.”
“Ahhh how is old Sweet Haven PD? Have I missed anything cool?”
“Same as always. Nothing major to report. You heard about the bakery fire, right? We had to escort Leroy out of there when he tried to fix it up drunk. Axel would have ripped him a new asshole for going near his girl otherwise.”
Nick throws his head back with a laugh.
“I did hear about that. Mia was so happy Haven came home.
Gotta say, I was relieved too. I felt like the world's biggest shit leaving her, especially after the bullshit with her dickhead ex. I hated not being there for her when that went to shit.” He runs a hand through his hair, looking at me with a sigh before continuing.
“It’s taking everything in me not to murder that guy.
Layla didn’t want him here either, but her parents insisted we invite him, and I didn’t want Layla to have any more stress fighting with them.
It’s been a lot, man. I deliberately didn’t give him an itinerary for our activities, but the fucker must’ve gotten one somewhere because he keeps appearing.
” He hits his thigh in frustration, shaking his head.
Ahh, so he isn’t cool with Pete being here. I was starting to wonder since Nick’s been playing the game so well.
“That guy’s a tool. I don’t like him sniffing around Mia.” My hands white-knuckle the chair and Nick’s gaze drops to them.
“I’m glad she’s got you, man. I’m not gonna lie, it’s taking some getting used to watching you two sucking face, but I can tell she’s happy. She’s never been like that with anyone else, so relaxed and affectionate. Not for nothing, I trust you to keep her safe.”
Damn, Nick’s killing it with the emotional punches today. I can’t take a third without letting something slip.
I hate all the fucking lies.
I’m lying to Mia about my feelings.
I’m lying to my best friend about my problems.
I’m lying to everyone about our entire fucking relationship.
And I’ve been lying to myself about being okay with it all.
I’m not okay with it. I’m not okay at all.
Standing abruptly, the chair makes a jarring screech on the floor.
“Shit, sorry. Thanks, bro. I’ll always keep Mia safe, you have my word on that. I need to get back and check on her.” I slap him on the back, downing what’s left of my coffee. That was a mistake as I try to swallow past a gag.