Chapter 29
Time-out on an island. Sounded like a pretty nice form of punishment, I’m sure, but with each day that passed without my daughter, it felt more like being back in that small prison cell. If it were left up to my brother, I’d probably still be there. But I was here instead.
Hearing someone pull up outside, I peered out the window and saw Cy’s vehicle. “Speaking of the devil.” I darted downstairs and met him in the yard. “Hey. Something wrong?”
“Yes. Your lawyer contacted me.”
I glanced past him, disappointed when finding no mini-me in his back seat. “You left me no choice.”
“How are you even affording such?”
“It’s really none of your business, but there are legal services for those who need assistance at a discount rate. But if you’d just be decent about this and give me my daughter, then I wouldn’t have to.”
He moved around me. “Let’s go inside and discuss this.”
Huffing, I trailed behind him up the porch.
Cy looked to the right and lifted his hand without stopping his mission to get inside. “Hey, Henry.”
Truly confused, my head snapped in the direction of Henry’s porch just in time to see him lift his hand and mumble a hey. I stood frozen as our eyes connected. “What the . . . ?”
Henry appeared to be on his own mission, hurrying inside his house like his tail was on fire.
I stepped past the threshold and slammed the door. “You know Henry?”
Cy looked up from his phone as he took a seat on the couch, lines creasing between his eyebrows. “We used to work together. I asked him to keep an eye on you.”
Frowning, I rested my hands on my hips. “You asked him to keep an eye on me? For what?”
My brother rolled his eyes. “Don’t ask stupid questions. You know why. Forget that though.” He turned his phone screen toward me, showing off an email from my lawyer. “We have more important things to talk about. Why are you trying to prohibit me from taking Fern out of the state?”
“I want to see my daughter. And I certainly don’t want you taking her even farther away from me. Since you keep blowing me off, I had to take matters into my own hands.”
Cy barked out a humorless laugh. “Into your own hands? We already know that always ends in disaster, little girl.”
My face burned and my vision blurred, but I refused to let go of the tears.
“Look, I’m sick of you belittling me, Cy!
Yes, I screwed up in the worst way possible.
You all have a right to be upset with me.
I’ve never said you didn’t, but this . .
.” I motioned toward him, shaking my head.
“This is just cruel. And I’ve had my fill of it! ”
Cy scowled at me as we had a heated stare-off.
After several intense minutes, I ran out of steam and collapsed in the chair across from him. “I miss her, Cy. If you’d just grant me visitation.”
He broke eye contact and fixed his gaze past my shoulder. “You remember your senior year, when Mom and Dad accepted that two-year position in Montreal?”
“Yeah?”
“Olla wouldn’t let them take you with them. Said you deserved a stable senior year, so she stayed in Columbia during your school year. You remember?”
I knew his point before he finished, so I nodded without speaking.
“Lana and I want a safe, stable life for Fern. A structured childhood. Just like what Olla wanted for you.” He leaned forward, elbows on his knees. “We can give her that, Junie. I’m just not sure you can yet.”
“I’ll never be able to thank you enough—”
“I didn’t do it for you!” Cy’s face turned red in a flash as he sat back.
“I know! And that’s what makes me love you even more . . . That you love my daughter more than me. That you’d do everything to protect her, even if that includes keeping her away from me, but you have to know I’ve woken up! I have changed. I can give her what she needs now.”
His eyes narrowed into a disapproving scowl. “You sure about that?”
“I—”
“Just think about what you’ve already put her through and what dragging us to court would further do.” He stood and started toward the door.
“You just got here and you’re already leaving?”
“I have other business to attend to in Charleston besides your mess.”
I pressed my lips together to prevent myself from smarting off. Instead, I let him go without protest. What was the point in even trying with him anyway?
Everything Cy wanted for Fern, I did too.
A stable, structured childhood, something that had never been in the cards for me.
Each time a new once-in-a-lifetime opportunity came about for my parents, I’d end up in a new school or back at Grandma Olla’s.
I didn’t mind the part of living with my grandmother, but I minded the uncertainty of it.
Cy slammed the door on his way out, causing me to jump. “Jerk.” Slumping forward, I cupped my face in my hands and groaned. “What a mess . . .”
The doorbell rang, but I didn’t move. A few seconds passed, then someone knocked. A tepid knock of a coward. One who had hid something from the get-go and now that he’d been exposed wanted to come clean.
Well. Forget him.
I rose from the chair, walked right up to the door, and threw the dead bolt with enough force to drive home the emphasis that I wouldn’t be accepting any feeble attempt of an apology.
“Junie!” Another knock. “Let me explain!”
Leaving Henry outside, I stomped upstairs to my room, too ticked to even avoid the creaky step. Even though it was still daylight out, I didn’t care. I’m not sure how I managed it, maybe my body just crashed out of mercy, but sleep found me quickly. As soon as my head hit the pillow, I was out.
*
“Mommy! Mommy!”
Among the cacophony of Fern’s screams and the officer’s harsh tone and the strobe-light flashes of blue light, I felt the cold, heavy metal clamp around my wrists.
Pulled tight behind my back, sending a tight pain along my shoulders, but I barely registered it as I craned my neck to see my child.
Only the bottom of her sparkly pink Crocs kicking out were within my view.
“Fern!”
“You have the right to remain silent . . .”
I messed up. I messed up. No, no, no, no . . . “Fern! Baby!”
“Anything you say can and will be used against you . . .”
“Mommy!” Her guttural sobs penetrated, as if a knife had been shoved deep in my chest.
“Fern! I’m so sorry, baby!” A hand gripped the top of my head, shoving me in the back of the car. The smell of urine, not my own but the leftovers from someone else ruining their lives, overwhelmed me.
“Mommy!”
*
I woke with a start.
Heart galloping, it took a minute for my eyes to adjust to the dark. I held my breath and listened, trying to figure out what pulled me from sleep so abruptly. The nightmare. My baby screaming for me.
I tapped the screen on my phone and checked the time. Two in the morning. I crashed around seven, so maybe I’d gotten all the sleep out of my system. No way would I be able to go back to sleep after reliving the worst day of my life.
I flipped the lamp on. After my eyes adjusted, I found the list written on the mirror. The most important thing to me right now. I scanned it until landing on number five. Set up Fern’s room. I’d painted it and arranged the furniture, but the quilt still wasn’t complete.
Deciding that was something I could do, considering everything else seemed impossible at the moment, I shoved the blanket off and went down to Olla’s sewing room to get to work.