23. Stall
TWENTY-THREE
STALL
Flynn
“What the hell are you doing here?”
I look up from under the hood of a 1975 Barracuda to see Rose barreling through the garage.
I’ve been at the shop since the crack of dawn this morning after another sleepless night.
When the rest of my crew arrived, one look at my face was enough for them to give me a wide berth.
They’ve learned that lesson the hard way the past couple of days.
Apparently, though, my anger doesn’t faze Rose.
“I don’t want to hear it,” I tell her.
“Hear what?” She makes it to my side, hands on hips, cowboy boot tapping.
“Whatever it is that you’re going to say.
” I lean back over the motor. The guy who dropped the ‘cuda off yesterday said it needed a new carburetor. But after checking the spark plugs, I’d reassessed.
Often an electrical problem will appear similar to a fuel problem.
That’s something I like about fixing cars—identify the problem, fix it and move on.
It’s one of the things I love about Jackie. We both analyze and fix shit.
My hand tightens on the wrench.
“You’re supposed to be lying in bed with Jackie right now, doing unspeakably dirty things to her while apologizing for being such a dick. And that’s after you beat the shit out of her douchebag ex-boyfriend.”
“Excuse me?”
“You heard me.” Rose pivots on her foot and leans under the hood, getting into my face.
“What the hell are you talking about, Rose?” I hunch forward, bracing my arm on the fender. “Jackie’s the one who hasn’t called me. She knows where I stand. The ball’s in her court.”
“You. Are. A. Moron.” Rose punctuates each word with a stab in my sternum.
“I let you spew that shit about Jackie choosing a dangerous job over you ‘cause I just thought you needed to hear how much of a selfish prick you were being. Or maybe you needed some time to get your head out of your ass. Obviously, you’re not as smart as I’d given you credit for. ”
I find myself twisting my lips, holding back angry retorts, because I know Rose is right.
But she still doesn’t get it. She’d been too young to remember when Gramps broke his neck riding that stallion, and then away at boarding school when Holt took the call about Mom and Dad’s car crash.
But I was old enough to feel the pain of all those losses.
I’ve been falling in love with Jackie since the first time she slid those glasses up her nose in front of me.
And I can’t take losing anyone else I love.
Rose crosses her arms over her chest, looking at me hunched under the hood. “So you’re saying you don’t care that her ex got physical with her and pushed her around in public?”
The clink and clang of my wrench pinballing down through the motor echoes through the otherwise quiet garage. I straighten and turn toward my sister. “What. The. Fuck?”
My anger might not usually faze her, but whatever I’m putting out there now sure freaks Rose out.
She takes a step back. But it still doesn’t stop her snarky attitude.
“Some NASA fan was taking a video of Jackie when it happened. She caught the whole thing. She posted it and tagged NASA’s twitter account.
Viral in an instant.” Rose snaps her fingers.
“Lucky for you, Jackie seems well versed in self-defense.” Rose looks down her nose at me, which is impressive as I’m nearly a foot taller than her.
“Jesus, Rose... I...” I run my hand through my hair. “Self-defense? Is she okay? Did someone call the cops? Maybe I should?—”
“No, jackass. The time to act has well fucking passed. I told you she wasn’t going to wait around forever for your apology.”
“I—”
“I mean, she thinks you’re a fucking mechanic, Flynn.
For God’s sake, she doesn’t even know what being a West means .
And yet the girl still loves you.” She sneers at me.
“And yet you, the person she came to first with the news that she was one step away from her dream job, wants her to turn it down.” She taps her finger on her chin.
“Wow, does this seem like déjà vu to anyone else? Like when a little privileged douche bag gave up the oil business to open his own mechanic shop because it was his dream? And what did his girlfriend at the time do? Gave him an ultimatum, if I remember correctly. Isn’t that right, Flynn? ”
I open my mouth but nothing comes out.
She blows out a slow breath, her eyes shiny. “You might care about her, but you sure as shit don’t deserve her.”
Fuck. She’s right.
Jackie
Big and Rich are singing about saving a horse and riding a cowboy while I lie on my bed in my underwear, trying to cool down from my drive home from work. The air conditioning in my car conked out. Of course it did.
So I came home and took a cold shower, trying to both stop sweating and relax after the long day I’ve just had.
A day of dealing with the aftermath of Brian frigging Hampson’s male chauvinist antics and the video of the subsequent butt kicking I gave him.
Or finger bending. However, though not as accurate, butt kicking sounds better than finger bending.
I need a plan. A procedure to get me through this mess. Hmmm. Seeing as Operation Social Life hasn’t panned out all that well, maybe just a to-do list.
Step one, buy a new car. This should be fun.
A new car involves research. I love research.
But now, thinking about cars makes me think of Flynn.
And that makes me sad. I guess I’ll just buy the same make and model as I have now, but new.
It won’t be as badass as one of Flynn’s vintage cars, but hopefully it will last me another ten years.
I blow out a sigh, wondering how many things that would normally bring me joy won’t, because they’ll remind me of Flynn.
Step two, deal with the publicity nightmare of the video of Brian’s butt kicking.
By itself, I don’t think the video would’ve been too bad, even with Brian’s celebrity.
However, when you factor in the fact that the media is still trying to call me one of the saviors of NASA, and the leaked news that I’m in the top running for the new astronaut class, NASA’s public relations team has me on speed dial.
Big and Rich stop singing, only to start up not ten seconds later.
Rose is tenacious, I’ll give her that. Unless I turn my phone off, which I’ve been expressly told not to do in case PR needs to go over something with me for the upcoming interview they’ve demanded I do, I’m going to hear Rose’s ringtone all night.
A ringtone which she personally selected.
I’m all for Big and Rich, but this is killing my newfound love of country music.
On the next ring, I take a deep breath and pick up the phone.
“Don’t say anything,” I demand.
“I—”
“No. It’s my turn to talk. Okay?” She’s silent, so I figure she gets the message.
“You and I are good. I’m sorry I’ve been dodging your calls.
First there was the ISS failure, then the Flynn and Beth thing, then everything seemed fine.
More than fine, it was… well, it was amazing.
And then just as quickly, it wasn’t. And now the stupid video.
” I take a deep breath, angry that my eyes are stinging.
“I just feel so drained. I’m not used to all this stuff.
” I gesture in the air with my free hand, even though Rose isn’t there to see me.
“I don’t think I’m equipped to deal with roller coaster emotions. ”
She’s still silent.
“Right now, I just do not have the head space to deal with whatever happened between Flynn and me. And I know he is your brother and you want to defend him.” Rose makes a sound, but quickly quiets. “But I just can’t hear it right now.” I clear my throat. “Okay?”
“Okay, Jackie.”
“So you and I are good. Just no Flynn talk, okay?”
“If that’s what you want.”
I blow out a long breath and blink a few times, trying to get my emotions under control. Goosebumps spread over my legs as my body temperature finally starts to cool down.
“So, Jackie?” Rose asks after a bit more silence.
“Yes, Rose?”
“I just need to say two things that involve Flynn. But only so you aren’t blindsided later.”
“I—”
“I promise I’m not defending him, it is just information you need.”
“Fine,” I say on a sigh.
“One, I told Flynn about the video and what happened at the restaurant. And two, I will not defend my brother. In fact, I recently told him he was an asshole and didn’t deserve you.”
I heard what she said. I even think, subconsciously, that I’ve computed what it means. But all I can manage is a very un-me, “Rose. What the fuck?”
“Wow,” Rose breathes. “You said fuck.”
A giggle shoots out. “Uh, yeah. I guess I did.”
“That’s okay. Sometimes you need a fuck.”
After a small pause, both of us start laughing, me curled up on the bed until tears do fall from my eyes.
“Jackie?” Rose asks.
I close my eyes, trying to draw up some strength. I’m not sure I can handle any more announcements from Rose. “Yes?”
“Could you teach me that self-defense finger thing? I have a feeling that might come in handy the next time I throw down.”
“Yeah, Rose. Of course I will. That’s what friends are for.”
Still lying in my underwear, though the shadows on the wall have moved and darkened with time, my phone rings again. For once, it is the standard shrill ringtone it came originally programed with.
I glance at the screen, annoyed when I see the Houston area code. I should probably pick it up and see what whoever it is wants, instead of lying here like a lump for the foreseeable future like I’d planned.
“Hello?”
“Dr. Lee? This is Roger McAllister here.”
I sit up quickly, nearly losing my grip on the phone.
“Yes, uh…” I clear my throat. “Evening, Mr. McAllister. How can I help you?”
“You can start by taking the position of astronaut.”
“Holy Mercury.”
“Dr. Lee?”
“Sorry, sorry. I, well, it’s just a shock.”
He chuckles. “It shouldn’t be. Not after your final interview, as well as you coming up with the solution for the EXT failure as well as spearheading the emergency spacewalk.”
“I—”
“So, what do you say? Are you going to give me an answer, or do you need to talk to your family and loved ones first?”
Family and loved ones? I suck in a deep breath, thinking of Flynn.
Of what my next words will mean for him.
For us. But then I think of my dad, of how supportive he’s been of me my whole life, if a little unorthodox in showing he cares.
And then I think of my mother and her NASA scrapbooks and love of space.
“No need to wait. I have my answer.” And really there is no other answer. Not because I want this more than Flynn and the life I thought we were making. But because by him making me choose, he left me no choice at all. “It’s affirmative, sir. I’ll take the position.”