18. Shields Up #2
“So you’ll be good when you get to the gate.”
“Thank— wait, what?” Her words finally sink in. “What gate?”
“The ranch. Duh.” She rolls her eyes. “You didn’t think I’d just pack you up and send you out in the world all willy-nilly now, did you?”
“Willy-nilly?”
“Shut up.” Rose struts over, dumps the keys, and tucks the bowl into her empty duffle. “Point is, you’re going to the ranch.”
I’m in no position to say no, as my plan had been to camp out at some park until the wedding. The ranch is a vast improvement. “Thank you.” I frown at her duffle. “But why did you take the key bowl?”
“Why the fuck not? Seemed like you like it with how hard you were staring at it. And in my opinion, any woman who has to pack up and leave when the man isn’t around is probably entitled to a bit of his shit.”
“It really isn’t like that. I?—”
“Didn’t you say time was of the essence?” Her boots thud on the wood floors as she walks toward the stairs.
“Uh, yes.” I scramble after her, feeling short in my sneakers.
She turns, shaking the duffel dangling from her hand. “Then let’s get your stuff and go.”
I follow her quick steps up the stairs.
“Girl.” Rose flops back on the bed, boots dangling off the edge. “For someone used to living in a small space, you have a mess of stuff. Lord knows how you’re going to get it all to fit back in your trailer.”
Usually the thought of magically putting everything in its place and making use of my amazing organizational skills that I’ve perfected in my years of trailer living makes me happy.
I am not happy right now.
“Why do you keep packing stuff that doesn’t belong to me?
” I rummage deeper into the duffle bag I gave her, pulling out one of Ian’s Speedos.
“Seriously?” Pulling open a dresser drawer, I shove the bathing suit inside.
“I swear I could’ve packed twice as fast and been out of here by now if I’d just done it myself. ”
Rose shrugs, still lying flat on her back. “I thought you might want a memento.”
The memory of Ian wearing that particular Speedo, his sculpted muscles wet and slippery from gilding through the water, has me swallowing.
Next, I find a takeout menu from the Chinese place we ordered from the night of our pillow-fort-building, Korean-drama-watching picnic. I toss the menu on top of the dresser, blinking back tears.
I don’t need mementos to remember the time I spent here. I have a bad feeling it’s already engraved on my heart.
“And I know this is ironic coming from the girl with a three-thousand-square-foot downtown penthouse, but why the heck does Ian need all this space? Seems odd for a single dude to have this huge house.” She props herself up on her elbows, looking around the large room.
“I thought Captain America’s house would be cooler.
Or at least better furnished. I mean, honestly, who lives like this? ”
Someone who’s claustrophobic .
My eyes travel to the closet, the doors of which are open. The memory of Ian bursting out of those same doors, sweat on his brow, chest heaving with each panicked inhalation, squeezes at my already-hurting heart.
I swing one of the last two duffle bags over my shoulder. “Come on. Time to go. We’re lucky he hasn’t come back yet.”
Slowly, Rose ambles to her feet. She grabs the strap of the other bag but doesn’t lift it up.
Instead, her eyes, unusually serious, bore into mine.
“I know I told you to move out to the ranch, but…” She sighs like she’s unwillingly admitting something.
“Are you sure you should leave?” When I’m silent, she presses.
“You should at least talk to Ian before you go. I mean, do you even want to go?”
No, I don’t want to go. This duffle, though heavy, feels like concrete on my shoulder. Like it’s packed with all my past, poor decisions. Decisions and choices that leave me so far removed from being the kind of woman who could make a man like Ian happy. And he so deserves to be happy.
Ian Kincaid, NASA engineer and son of a US senator, was fine before he met me, and he’ll be fine when I’m gone.
That conviction nearly breaks me, making me realize Ian inviting me to Germany was a godsend.
It’s a lot harder than I thought it would be to pack up and go.
If I wait a few more days, I might not be able to.
I’ve let myself settle down too much. In this house. With Ian.
I guess that’s the funny thing about putting down roots, even those as shallow as my imagination lets me dig. Once you start, you just want more. You want to dig deeper.
I let this large house, this bubble I created, separate me from reality. In Ian’s mansion, with the wide, curtainless windows and sparse furniture, I let myself believe that I had a chance at something. Something other than a fleeting moment.
Funny what a little square footage can do to one’s sense of self.
Shaking all of that off, I square my shoulders, hitching the bag higher. “Yes, it’s time…” I pause, tilting my head at Rose, her odd behavior suddenly making sense. “Have you been stalling this whole time? Is that why you’re dragging your feet and packing things you know I’ll need to put back?”
White teeth flash in a grimace. “Well…”
My chin drops open wide enough to catch flies. Then my eyes narrow.
Seeing my expression, Rose takes a step back. “Now, now. Don’t get mad. I was just…”
“You best be picking that up and hustling your rear end downstairs.” I point a newly chipped nail at the duffle bag by her feet, my voice coming out hard between clenched teeth. “’Cause if Ian gets home before we leave, there will be hell to pay.”
Wide-eyed, Rose hefts the bag on her shoulder. “Sheesh. Try and do a girl a favor…”
Five minutes later, Rose huffs a breath as she heaves the last duffle bag, this one full of shoes, out of the house into the garage.
I point to the large bag just a few feet to my right. “I swear, if even one heel is damaged, I’m going to be madder than a hornet.” I’m still mighty angry at her for stalling, even if she did finally pick up the pace once we got the bags downstairs.
Rose snorts. “Are you still mad?” She waves her hand. “Never mind. Doesn’t matter. Short people are cute when they’re mad.”
I stomp my foot, too late realizing I just proved her point.
She smiles. “See?”
I take a deep breath and tell myself I love this girl. That if I strangle her, I’ll regret it later. I glance at my watch. Plus, it’ll take too long to hide the body.
Ian’s appointment should already be over. I’m lucky he said he had errands to run before picking up dinner on the way home. If my luck holds, I can still get gone before he comes back.
Opening the trailer door, I motion with my other hand at the bag. “Grab that side. We’ll lay it down on the floor with the others, and I’ll put everything back in its place once we reach the ranch.”
Even with the both of us, it still takes a lot of heft to get my shoes inside.
“Finally.” Rose slumps back on the trailer’s couch. “Are we done yet?”
“Yes, so get up. No more lollygagging.” I pull her up off the cushions. “I just need to grab my computer bag, and we can get out of here.”
Rose stumbles forward and out the door. “My brother and Jules better not be getting frisky in the house when we show up or I’m gonna be pissed.
” She grabs her phone from between her boobs.
“I think Jules prides herself on grossing me out. If I text her you’re coming maybe she’ll rein in the PDA.
” Glancing to her left, out the open garage door, she winces.
“Well, hell.” She bites her lip as she looks up at me, still standing in the trailer doorway.
“Don’t look now, but Captain America just arrived. ”
Ian’s car rolls into the spot next to my trailer.
“Fuck.”
Rose’s eyebrows shoot up at my rarely used expletive.
“Rose?” Ian gets out, looking over the hood of his car at us. “What are you doing here?”
Out of the corner of my eye, I see Rose glancing between us, probably looking to me for some clue on how to play this. But I just keep staring at Ian, memorizing his face, steeling myself for an early goodbye.
“So.” Rose elongates the word. “I’m gonna go.” She takes slow, backward steps out of the garage, eyes ping-ponging between Ian and me. “I’ll see you later?” Her question sounds hopeful, but hoping for what I’m not sure.
I just nod, eyes still on Ian.
“You’re leaving?” Ian slams the car door shut, walking around the back of his Audi. By his expression, he’s livid. “Now?”
“Bye!” Rose skedaddles, hustling down the drive toward her car parked at the curb.
Leaving me with a very angry, albeit very sexy, Captain America.