Chapter 27 #2
Finally, he caught her gaze with his own. “I’m in love with you.”
Astonishment took her breath away. His words arrowed through her defenses, slipping through the armored doors of her past and uncovering old hope as heady as the days it had blossomed. She grasped for cover. “No, you aren’t.”
Anger twisted his face. “Don’t tell me how I feel. You’re not in my head. In nearly thirty years, you’ve never let me in yours.”
She deserved his ire. “You’re right. Sorry.
I believe you.” Shoving her stupid memories aside took a moment.
“But I know things you don’t. You love someone else far more.
I’m just a port in the storm. You loved him so much that you nearly died to save him.
So much so that you begged him to hide memories of him to protect him, so you could save your sister. And I… “
The words stuck in her throat. The paths she’d taken and the promises she’d made with such conviction at the time now felt like flimsy excuses to get the time with him she wanted.
Breathing deep and letting out an uneven sigh gave her time to gather her courage. “I loved you all so much that I promised to stay with you and protect you. I never stopped loving you for the last thirty years.”
“Bullshit,” he snapped. “I’d have known.”
She gave him a bitter smile. “Don’t tell me how I feel. I’m a shielder, remember? You once said I’m even stronger than Ayorinn himself, even when he was angry.”
He shook his head. “I never met the man.”
“Yes, you did. Your sister introduced you. He thought he needed someone with your skills. Your sister knew what he really needed was your heart.”
His stricken, bewildered look was another arrow to her heart. “I don’t remember any of this.”
She leaned forward to put her hand on his beloved face and caress his cheekbone with her thumb. Releasing her mental shields around his telepathic talent was easy. Dropping her own was like prying open a corroded door. “You will.”
For a glorious moment of bliss, she meshed her mind with his. He met her with desperate wonder, dancing their talents together. Cherished memories from her past — their shared past — were threadbare tapestries compared to the rich reality of their thoughts intertwining.
So much lost time. The words surfaced from his mind. “We could have been together.”
Samara sighed. “No, we couldn’t. We are two of the fundamental forces in Ayorinn’s forecast. Neirra was another.
There are hundreds more. We spin; the universe ripples.
The Legacy depended on us being independent spheres of influence.
I doubt Ayorinn anticipated me needing your skills when I discovered how to give shields to anyone, or how much you needed someone to care for, especially after your sister died. ”
In their connection, she felt Tuzan’s frustration rise.
“Tell me what this is all about. Then I’ll come with you.
” She felt the resolve behind his words.
If she didn’t tell him, he’d fight her all the way so he could stay.
She would keep her promise, damnit. Responsibility drove the man more than anyone she’d ever known. Except maybe herself.
Reluctantly, she pulled back a little, gaining some separation between their thoughts again. Speaking aloud helped strengthen the distance. “We’re out of time. I can’t tell you, but I can show you. It will hurt.”
“Pain passes.” He sent a demanding thought through their connection. “Show me.”
It was the last thing she wanted to do. She stalled. “It’s just as well you decided to be an ass and refuse to escape as we planned. I wouldn’t have thought to bring the capsule, otherwise. You’re going to need it.”
“Samara–”
“My real name is Asteri. Samara was my sister.” Her old sadness resonated with his recent loss. “The CPS thought she was me when they killed her. I took her place.”
He shook his head. “I fucking hate not knowing what’s going on.”
“Sorry.” Unable to resist, she palmed his cheek one last time. “I love you.”
Hardening her resolve, she cleared her mind and called up the long, nonsensical sequence she’d memorized long ago, visualizing each word as she spoke it aloud.
It took all she had to doggedly push all the words into his mind, all the while ignoring the pain threatening to blow his head off. Pain she caused.
The vast, hidden vault of his memories flooded in and drowned his every thought. She only stayed in his mind long enough to force his talent to activate the shields she’d given him.
She eased him to the floor, where he curled into a ball, moaning.
Neirra and Ayorinn had warned him that it would take weeks, perhaps even months, to fully reintegrate his personality.
She doubted they anticipated that the Legacy would take so many more years to unfold than they’d expected.
Or that she’d have to stun him first to get his attention.
Her healer talent told her he was already slipping into insensibility. Hurriedly, she removed the detention cuffs, then urged him into the uniform tunic. His uncoordinated movements seemed restless, like an anesthetized patient instinctively trying to move away from danger.
By the time she guided the medical capsule into the hallway, he was nearly comatose. Her healer talent said his body was stressed but not damaged. So far, his shields were holding.
Looking at the two cargo bags, she realized that with Tuzan out of commission, she needed to adjust the arrangements for getting her and Tuzan out of the system.
She pulled out cosmetics from her bag and found a skin stylus in the apartment’s fresher.
Tuzan soon had the sallow, hollow, spotty look of someone who might be contagious.
Her own short, spiky hair was now a brilliant rainbow of color to match her kaleidoscope eyes, and the abstract artwork on her neck and hands pushed the boundaries of military decorum.
If she could remember to chatter and smile a lot, no one who knew Samara Akaramides would recognize her. She could buy a full-body mod later.