32. I Want to Kiss You, All the Time
I Want to Kiss You, All the Time
SAM
Inever knew I could feel so many things at once. Pain at revisiting the intensity of that day in all its ugly entirety. Relief that I was finally able to do it. Gratitude that I’d shown Ellie—told her the truth about what she meant to me—and she hadn’t run away.
I told myself I’d let her lead this. I had no agenda. It didn’t matter if she wanted to do this one time. Whatever she wanted, I’d give it to her. Even if it meant we kept things exactly as they were.
I found her waiting outside her door, back to the wall, eyes closed. Her hair was mussed, her sleep shirt slipped off one shoulder. She wasn’t wearing a bra, I could see that now. It drove me fucking wild.
But sexy as she looked, she was more beautiful than I’d ever seen her, too.
I felt inexplicably nervous. I didn’t get nervous very often. But this woman had the power to destroy me.
And I’d let her. There would never be another woman for me. I knew that now.
Ellie opened her eyes at the sound of my bare feet on the hardwood.
“Hey,” she whispered.
“Hey.”
I leaned against the wall opposite her.
For a moment, we just stared at one another. My insides were a swirling mess of heat; anticipation and anxiety.
She smiled, almost shyly.
“We never talked about last time,” I said.
“I know.”
“We were supposed to stick to friends.”
“Yes.”
“So what’s happening here, Ellie?”
Her throat shifted as she swallowed. “I’m having a hard time sticking to the plan.”
“Why’s that?” I was trying to be teasing with my tone. But I needed to know.
“Because I keep wanting you to kiss me.”
Heat flooded my abdomen, thickening my already stiffening bulge. “I want to kiss you, Ellie. All the fucking time.”
“That’s not really how friends behave, is it?”
“Ellie, I want to be your friend,” I said. “But I want more than that too.”
She stood up straighter.
“I don’t know what I can give you, Sam.”
My stomach twisted painfully.
“But,” she continued, “I can’t keep pretending I don’t think about you like I want more too.”
Fuck, this woman.
“So maybe,” she said, “we do this one time? Get it out of our system?”
I knew nothing could get Ellie out of my system. Not now, not ever. I was in love with her. So in love with her that I was done loving anyone else. If that meant I died alone then so be it.
But she looked so hopeful. And she was crossing the hallway now, snaking her hands up around my neck, shifting her hands into my hair.
Then her lips were on mine. And I wondered, maybe, if I was in heaven.
She didn’t feel the same way about me. She was attracted to me, obviously.
But she wasn’t looking at forever. I was fucking weak though, because once again, with Ellie’s gorgeous, plush body pressed up against mine, her impossibly soft skin under my hands and searching tongue in my mouth, I didn’t care.
Just like the last time we’d kissed, where I would have blown my teenage mind with how hot the girl we got was, I nearly combusted at the glory of feeling her against me.
I broke the kiss. “Ellie,” I breathed. “Are you sure? I’m not going to pressure you to do anything after this, but I need you to be sure this is what you want.”
“I know, Sam,” she whispered. “You’re a good guy. Now take me into my room and fuck me like you’re not.”
I was dead. I’d died. This was heaven. It was the only explanation.
But I was more than happy to do exactly what she wanted me to.
“You sassy little slut,” I teased. I reached under her thighs and lifted her up onto me. Then I whispered in her ear, “Fine then. Allow me to fuck your brains out.”
She giggled as she wrapped her plush, strong body around me.
Fuck, she felt so fucking good. All of her.
Her ankles hooked at my back. Her gorgeous tits pressed against my collarbone, just barely out of reach of my mouth.
Her hair a little frilly curtain around our faces as she dropped her lips onto mine.
The heat of her at my stomach.
Somehow we got through the door. It was dark in here; darker still when I gently kicked the door shut behind us.
“Lock it,” she demanded as she sunk her teeth onto my earlobe.
I flipped her around so she was pressed up against the wall, fumbling for the lock. As I did, she slipped a little and my cock made contact with her hot center. There was fabric between us, but I swear I could feel her dampness soaking through.
“Fuck,” I breathed, hoisting her back up again. “Are you wet for me, sweetheart?”
“Is it locked?” she asked.
“Yes,” I promised. I slid my hands up her bare thighs, slipping them into her pajama shorts so I was cupping her luscious ass. I squeezed hard.
She moaned. “Yes, I’m wet for you Sam. I’m soaked.”
I clenched my jaw, willing myself not to do a repeat of the last time I was in this room. “I’m going to make you feel so good,” I growled at her.
“Not before me.” She wriggled out of my arms, dropping onto the floor. “Stay there.” She slipped out from under me.
Fuck. I leaned against the wall with my hand, trying to regain some composure. “Where are you? Can I turn on the light?”
“No.”
My insides went hot as I realized her voice had come from down low. She hadn’t slipped away. She was on her fucking knees.
I groaned as she undid my zipper, which I’d hastily zipped back up on the way downstairs.
“Ellie, let me take care of you first.”
“No.”
Her fingers were feather-light on my waist as they hooked themselves into my jeans. She tugged them down with my shorts so I was exposed to the dark.
“Let me take care of you, for once,” she said. “Besides, don’t you remember how much I loved doing this?”
My cock throbbed so hard it hurt. Yes, yes I did. I felt like I’d won the lottery knowing how turned on she got when she was on her knees for me.
She still hadn’t touched me. It was wild being so in the dark like this. Like we could be anywhere and nowhere. Like I had no idea when or even if she was going to touch me.
Then one of her hands wrapped itself around the base of my shaft.
“Fuck,” I breathed.
Her lips and tongue latched onto the tip of my cock.
Everything else fell away.
Ellie played with me a moment, flicking her tongue against my head, lapping up the slick drops of pre-cum I knew were there. She teased the underside of my tip with the flat of her tongue, making me clench everything so I didn’t lose it before she’d even begun.
“Ellie,” I groaned, slipping my hand into her silky curls. She slid down my shaft so abruptly I sucked in a breath. She backed off of me again and swirled her tongue over my tip, making me groan. She sucked me in again, deep enough this time I felt myself hit the back of her throat.
“Fuck,” I groaned. “You’re taking so much of me, sweetheart. Such a good little cocksucker.”
On the next thrust I felt her lips come off of me so she could tip herself back, opening her throat to take me even deeper.
“Such a good fucking girl,” I moaned as my balls hit her chin.
When she came off of me, she whispered, “say that again.”
My balls tightened. “You’re a good, good girl, Ellie, taking this hard cock.”
She inhaled me again. This was so much better than any of my fantasies. And I’d had about a thousand when it came to El.
“More!” she insisted. She increased her pace, gliding her mouth up and down my shaft.
“My greedy little slut. So hungry for this cock. Take it all the way, sweetheart. I know you can do it.”
She reacted to each filthy thing I said like I was giving her a prize. I didn’t know what I was saying. I was getting stupid with the overwhelming pleasure of what was happening.
“Fuck yes. Fucking take this cock. Choke on it.” I was gripping her hair now, fucking her mouth as she whimpered. Her hand disappeared from my base—was she touching herself?
It was too much. She was too eager. I gripped my hand in her hair and pulled her off. “I can’t come this quickly, Ellie.”
She popped herself off of me. “Why not?” Her tongue grazed my tip, making me shiver. “I want to.”
Before I could respond, Ellie slid her hand over the head of my cock, making my protests fly right out of my head. Then her mouth was on me again and I thrust back inside. I loved the sensation of her in the dark.
But more than anything, I wanted to see her. I wanted to watch her hand slip over my aching cock. I wanted to see her big, beautiful tits respond to my touch. And oh fuck, I wanted to watch myself disappear inside of her.
I gripped her hair, then her jaw, pulling her off of me with a wet, sloppy pop. “Ellie,” I gritted out, hardly able to breathe. “I’m not coming until you do. More than once. Five times, preferably.”
“Five!”
“Six?”
“Sam!”
I grinned in the dark. “Get up, Ellie. And tell me you have condoms. Please.”