15. Sawyer
Sawyer
I stepped into my apartment just after eleven.
Still smelling like Addison’s sheets. The quiet hit me all at once as the familiar shape of the place settled around me.
My chest buzzed with restless energy that hadn’t worn off since I dropped her off.
It felt like my body was still tuned to hers.
I exhaled and rubbed a hand over my face while the feeling kept humming under my skin, muttering a quiet curse under my breath. I didn’t do this. I didn’t pine.
Get your shit together, Wilson.
I headed straight for the shower, shedding my clothes on the way there, tossing them onto the floor haphazardly.
After a shower and a cup of black coffee, I felt more like myself. I put my work clothes and boots on and headed back to my workshop.
I flicked on the lights and moved toward my workbench without much thought. I had a few pieces I’d been working on: a sculpture and a tree that was a custom order for a client, but I wasn’t in the mood for either of them.
Instead, I pulled on my gloves, grabbed a fresh piece of metal and my welder, and started to create. What it was, I had no idea yet, but I was going to let the metal tell me what it wanted to be.
I got lost in it until my phone rang, pulling me out of my work. I looked at the time before I opened the text. It was 3:15. I had been working for three hours.
Lola: Beer and a ride? I need to clear my head. You in?
A ride was always a good idea. And Lola was one of my closest friends.
I typed out a quick reply.
Me: Sounds good. Give me 20 minutes to wash up and I’ll head out. Meet at The Dock?
I met Lola at The Dock and we grabbed a beer.
She filled me in on the newest drama with her current girl.
The simple distraction helped smooth the noise in my head.
We stayed for a while, nursing our drinks and watching people come and go along the waterfront.
Eventually we headed back out to our bikes.
We spent the next hour riding. No destination, no plan. Just open roads, late afternoon sun, and the familiar comfort of riding beside someone who didn’t expect anything from me except to show up.
By the time we headed back toward town, my shoulders had loosened and my mind felt quieter than it had all week.
We split off a few blocks from my place with a wave and a promise to catch up later in the week.
* * *
I pulled into my parking spot as the sun began to dip. Before I reached the stairs, Hollis and Soren waved at me through the bookstore window, so I went inside.
“Hey,” I said.
“Come talk to us,” Hollis said.
I knew exactly what they wanted to hear about.
Addison.
I walked over and leaned against the counter. “Okay.”
“How was your night?” Hollis asked with a smirk. “Your bike wasn’t here when I came in this morning.”
“I stayed at Addison’s.”
They both gave me that look.
“It wasn’t like that,” I said. “We fell asleep watching Buffy. It was soft and slow, and honestly, it was a really good night.”
Soren pressed a hand to their chest. “I love that.”
“She’s different, then?” Hollis asked.
“Yeah.” I smiled. “I really like her. She’s never been with a woman before, though. She thinks she might be bad at it and that things could get complicated.”
I told them about her family, her brother, and why she had spent so long hiding that part of herself.
“She sounds worth taking things slowly for,” Soren said.
“Oh, absolutely,” Hollis agreed. “Bring her by sometime?”
“I will. Eventually.”
“That’s all we ask,” Soren said.
“She really liked your pie,” I told Hollis.
Hollis grinned. “See? She’s a good one.”
When I got upstairs I changed and plopped on the couch, I pulled my phone out and texted Addison.
Me: You home from bridesmaid duties?
Her reply came almost immediately.
Addison: Just walked in from part one. Getting changed before we head back out. Dinner and the bar tonight.
Addison: You okay?
That little check-in, landed deeper than it probably should have.
Me: Yeah, just got back from a ride with my friend Lola. Was just thinking about you.
There was a pause long enough that I pictured her in front of the mirror somewhere with her hair half up, smiling down at her phone while she tried to decide what to say.
Addison: That sounds dangerous… In the best way.
I smiled before typing again.
Me: I’ll behave. I just wanted to say hi. And I really liked last night. And this morning.
Three dots started then stopped before her rely finally came through.
Addison: Me too. I keep replaying it. Which is not ideal when I’m supposed to be getting ready with drunk bridesmaids.
I could practically hear her laughing when I read it.
Me: Sorry in advance.
Addison: Don’t be. I like being distracted by you.
I felt that everywhere.
Fuck, this girl is going to actually kill me.
Me: Have fun tonight. Text me when you’re back? Even if it’s late.
Another pause followed before the next message appeared.
Addison: I will. Promise. Have a good night, Sawyer.
Me: You too, Addison.
I headed back to my workshop for a bit. Time slipped in the way it always did once I started working. Grinding, measuring, welding, and watching sparks fly gave my hands something to focus on while my brain sorted through everything else.
As I worked, my mind wandered somewhere I usually tried not to let it go.
My sister.
Aiden died when she was seventeen and I was fifteen.
One minute she had been laughing loudly about something stupid, and the next she was gone.
After that nothing in my house ever sounded the same.
My parents didn’t shut down on purpose, but grief hollowed them out and left them quiet in a way that made the whole house feel empty.
Poppa was the one who saved me. He started taking me to his welding shop after school every day.
He didn’t ask questions and he didn’t try to fix anything.
He just handed me goggles and told me to watch my hands.
He taught me how to work metal, how to control heat, and how to take something dangerous and shape it into something solid.
Somewhere between the sparks and the noise, I fell in love with it.
It still works the same way now. Whenever things get too big, whether it’s joy, fear, or want, I come here and pour it into steel. Steel can take it. Steel doesn’t leave.
Eventually I shut the welder off and stepped back from the bench.
My breathing slowed and my shoulders had loosened.
The piece sitting on the bench looked cleaner now, stronger.
I pulled off my gloves and leaned back against the table for a moment before reaching for my phone again.
There were no new messages yet. She was probably in a dress somewhere, laughing with her friends and looking beautiful without even trying.
That part didn’t scare me. What scared me was how much I wanted to be the place she came back to when the night was over.
* * *