Chapter Forty-Four
Forty-Four
For her first official day of unemployment, or funemployment as Chelsea was calling it, Stella woke up to the smell of bacon instead of the sound of her alarm.
It was a much better way to wake up, in her opinion.
When she walked into the kitchen, she found Chelsea putting together a bacon, egg, and cheese sandwich.
“Good morning, sleepyhead,” Chelsea said, grinning. For some reason, she was already dressed, except she was wearing a crop top and Soffe shorts, so clearly she had no plans to go outside. “Avocado, salt, pepper, ketchup?”
Stella squinted at her roommate, immediately suspicious.
“Why did you make me breakfast?” Stella asked.
“Because I love you and I know you’ve had a tough few days,” Chelsea said. She avoided eye contact with Stella, focusing on adding the avocado, salt, pepper, and ketchup that Stella hadn’t said yes to but did indeed want.
Once Chelsea put the sandwich together and cut it down the middle, she slid the plate across the counter to Stella.
“Juice?” Chelsea asked.
Stella hopped up on one of the barstools. She wasn’t about to turn down what looked like a very good bacon, egg, and cheese, but she was certain something was up.
“Yes, please,” she said. She watched as Chelsea went to their fridge and grabbed what looked like a new bottle of orange juice and poured only one glass. It was then that Stella noticed there was no sandwich for Chelsea.
“Are you not also eating?” Stella asked.
“I will in a sec,” Chelsea said, handing her the glass. “How’s the sandwich?”
“I haven’t eaten it yet,” Stella said with a tone that implied that was obvious.
“Try it! I want to know how it tastes.” Chelsea pushed the plate closer to Stella, and despite Chelsea weirdly watching her, Stella took a bite.
It was perfect. The right amount of saltiness from the bacon, and the egg was a little runny but not so runny it would make a mess.
An excellent ratio of ingredients in one bite.
Stella wouldn’t say it was better than if she’d gotten it from the bodega down the street, but it was pretty close.
“Very good,” Stella said once she swallowed. “Ten out of ten. No notes.”
“Amazing,” Chelsea said. “So anyway, please don’t hate me, but I think I maybe told Max you were a virgin last night.”
Stella, who’d just grabbed her glass of orange juice, froze.
“Come again?”
“Okay, remember, you’re not getting mad,” Chelsea said. “And honestly, I’m not really sure what I said exactly. But I think I said something like you’ve never been with someone before.”
Stella very calmly—more calmly than she thought was possible in the moment—put her glass back down and pushed away from the counter. She didn’t know what she was about to do, but she really did like her sandwich and she did not want it getting caught in the cross fire.
“Chelsea, why on earth would you do that?” Stella asked. “And when did this even happen?”
“Last night,” Chelsea said. “I saw him leaving when I got home, and he looked positively tragic. Made me want to give him a hug, and you know I don’t offer those to men for free.”
Stella felt a flicker of worry at the thought of Max looking so hurt, but she focused on her irritation with Chelsea instead. She stared at Chelsea until she continued.
“Right, so, anyway, I saw him leaving, and we got to talking, and I maybe said you were a virgin,” Chelsea said. “That’s it.”
“Why would you even bring that up?”
“I think I was trying to fix things for you,” Chelsea said. “Effie and Kira may have mentioned to me that I’ve been acting out of line since the two of you got together, so I wanted to do something good for you.”
“And you thought telling him something so very personal about me, before I could tell him myself, was the way to do that?” Stella asked. “Please walk me through how that makes sense.”
Chelsea groaned and walked around the counter so she was standing in front of Stella.
“It doesn’t, I know that,” Chelsea said. “I was drunk and not thinking. But I was trying to do a good thing. Doesn’t that count for something?”
Stella closed her eyes, pinching the bridge of her nose as her thoughts spiraled. This was not what she wanted to do today, but it was time she and Chelsea actually talked.
“Chels, honestly, I don’t even really care about that,” Stella said, finally looking at her best friend.
“I mean, I’d rather you hadn’t told him that, but you’ve literally been treating me so differently ever since Max entered the picture.
It’s like most of the time things will be fine and then you make these snide little comments or remarks, and I don’t understand where that comes from.
I thought you of all people would be happy I finally found someone I really like who likes me, too. ”
“I am happy for you!” Chelsea said. “Truly. That’s why I word-vomited all over Max last night. I want things to work out between the two of you.”
“Then why, Chels?” Stella asked. “Because you have to admit that the vibes between us have been way off lately, and I don’t think that’s coming from me.”
Chelsea sighed. “No, you’re right, and I’m sorry.
I think I maybe felt some kind of way because you were dating someone.
Usually, whenever I need you, you’re around.
Our whole thing is that I have the sex and you don’t.
I’m the one who’s always out and about, and you’re always the one I can call when I forget my keys or my plans fall through.
“I guess I was used to our dynamic, and when that changed, I didn’t love it so I maybe acted out.”
“Maybe?”
“Definitely acted out,” Chelsea amended.
“And I’m really sorry. I’m also sorry for spilling the beans to Max, but I genuinely didn’t mean it as a malicious thing.
I just wanted him to know that perhaps you might be a little hesitant to open yourself up to him.
Emotionally, not physically, obviously. I know you already did that. ”
Stella flicked Chelsea on the arm, and she flinched away with the most dramatic “Ouch!” Stella rolled her eyes.
“Fine, fine. I probably deserved that,” Chelsea said. “But I’m serious, Stells. I am sorry for being such a bitch lately. It was silly, and I’ll do better, I promise.”
Chelsea held out her pinkie finger, and Stella stared at it for a moment.
Every part of her wanted to loop her pinkie around Chelsea’s and be done with it, but Chelsea was right.
Things had changed between them, and Stella couldn’t let them move past this without making sure Chelsea knew how she felt.
“I forgive you, Chels,” Stella said. “But don’t just say you’ll do better; actually be better.”
“I will,” she said. “You know I will.”
“I don’t, though,” Stella said. “I want to believe you will, but it’s like you said.
I finally met someone, someone who makes me happy, and instead of supporting me, you infantilized me and made jokes about it.
It’s like you only like me when I’m at your beck and call.
The one you can hit up if other plans fall through and then ditch me when something better comes along. That’s not friendship.”
“That’s not what I think at all,” Chelsea said, shaking her head.
“But it’s what you said,” Stella pushed on. “You were used to having me be available whenever you needed me, and when I wasn’t anymore, you hated me for it. And that sucked, Chelsea. It really sucked.”
Stella’s voice caught as she felt her eyes welling with tears, and it was like everything that’d happened hit her all at once. Yellow Sparks, Max, and now Chelsea.
“I’m sorry, Stella,” Chelsea said. She wrapped her arms around Stella, pulling her into a hug, and that was it.
The dam broke. Ugly tears fell onto Chelsea’s T-shirt, and Chelsea let it happen, rubbing circles on Stella’s back as she cried and cried until Stella felt like she was breathing regularly again.
When she pulled back, Chelsea’s face was also tear-stained.
“I’m a bitch,” Chelsea said, which made Stella laugh.
Chelsea took Stella’s hands in hers and gave them a squeeze.
“Seriously, you’re right. I took for granted always having you around, and that wasn’t fair,” Chelsea said. “You deserve to have your own fun, with Max or with a wheel of lovers. Whatever floats your boat.”
Stella laughed again. “I think I’ll just stick with the one, thank you.”
“Well, whatever,” Chelsea said, smiling. “The point is, I’m sorry I made you feel this way, and I promise going forward I’ll handle my own shit, including remembering my keys. I swear.”
Chelsea held out her pinkie again, and this time Stella took it, hooking her own pinkie around it and then pulling Chelsea in for another hug.
“Now, please eat your sandwich,” Chelsea said as she walked back around to the kitchen. “I only have enough ingredients for another one, and I will not be giving you my sandwich just because you let yours get cold.”
“Wow,” Stella said. “I liked you better when you were groveling.”
Chelsea flipped her off, and Stella did it right back with both hands.
“So,” Chelsea said as she started cooking again. “Am I allowed to ask why Max looked so dejected last night?”
Stella sighed as the memories of last night floated back like a terrible film.
“He told me he ended his company’s contract with Yellow Sparks,” Stella said.
Chelsea looked up. “That’s good news, right?”
“Yes, but he also said his brother knows about us, and of course he isn’t happy about it, so now they’re not speaking,” Stella said. Then, as if it was an afterthought and not the thing that kept her up all night, she added, “He also said he loved me.”
Chelsea stopped beating her eggs and stared at Stella.
“And you said…?”
“That we should take a day or two to make sure this is really what we both want,” Stella said with a sigh. “Like an idiot.”
“Well, it’s been, what? Twelve hours? What are you thinking?” Chelsea asked.
“I love him.” Stella blew out on a breath. “I think I love him.”
Chelsea cocked her head. “Okay, so maybe go tell him that? Clearly the ball’s in your court.”
“I know,” Stella groaned. “But I mean, am I crazy? Isn’t it too soon? Don’t people usually date someone for, like, I don’t know, three months before they say the L word?”
“I don’t know because, surprise, surprise, this is one thing I don’t have that much experience with either,” Chelsea said. “But I don’t think falling in love has a set schedule. I think when you know you know.”
She shrugged. “But also, didn’t your parents fall in love in like a week?”
“A day,” Stella said, rolling her eyes. “But yes, I see your point. Thank you.”
“No problem,” Chelsea said, beaming. “Now we’re really even.”
Stella scrunched up her napkin and threw it at Chelsea, who easily ducked out of the way, laughing.