Chapter 21
Harper
Istart crying when I hear the car door click. I’m one of those lucky people who cry when they’re angry. I don’t scream or punch walls—I just cry. And right now, it feels a bit pathetic.
I didn’t want Luke to eat lunch with Cassie, but what was I supposed to say? No, eat lunch with me and make Cassie eat by herself.
Because that’s the only solution that would make me happy.
No. Scratch that. The only solution that would make me happy is if Luke got in the car and Cassie drove off in her van and I never had to see her again.
And that’s why I’m sitting in my car alone, crying while I eat a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.
Apparently, the date they went on last night wasn’t enough alone time.
If Luke wants to spend the rest of his time pining over Cassie and fulfilling her every whim, then he can. From now on, I’m running solo. I don’t need Cassie ruining my trip.
I finish eating my sandwich and pull my jacket back on. Luke must be eating whatever Cassie has, because he didn’t grab anything from our pack of food in the back seat before going to her van.
I start toward the stairs that lead up to the top of the waterfall. I know Luke said he would go with me, but I don’t want to walk up to that van and knock on the door and have to deal with Cassie. And if no Cassie means no Luke? Then I just have to deal with that.
I’ve been making my way up the stairs for a few minutes when I hear someone running up behind me. I move off to the side, expecting the person to run past, but instead they fall into step with me.
“You didn’t come get me,” Luke huffs.
I glance over to confirm it’s him and then train my eyes back on the ground so I don’t misstep.
“You were eating.”
“I’m sorry, Harper,” he says. “Cassie started to run up the stairs. I tried calling her to tell her to wait, but she just kept going so I followed.”
I shrug. “I would have ditched her.” The words come out harsh, but I mean them. When he doesn’t respond, I add, “Sorta like how you ditched me.”
“I’m sorry,” he says again.
“I just want to enjoy my vacation,” I tell him.
He doesn’t say anything else after that.
Neither of us talk as we walk up the mountain, and it’s a welcome silence.
Every now and then I stop and turn around to take in the views.
I can see mountains in the far-off distance from up here, with green moss surrounding us on all sides.
The sky is cloudy, making the ocean on the other side of the road look hazy and moody.
Off to my left is the waterfall. The rushing water is loud beside me, making it hard to hear anything else.
Eventually we reach the top, and I make my way to the end of the path, looking over the edge where the water plummets down. My stomach drops a little from the distance, but what I don’t expect to see are the birds.
Dozens of them fly and circle below us. They’re a good distance away, but I’m sure if they wanted to, they could fly up to us in a few seconds. It puts a pit of fear in my gut that feels ridiculous.
“Nice,” I whisper to myself, trying to push down the desire to look away.
I’d like to say I don’t have a fear of birds, but I do.
My mom says it’s because we went to the beach and I had a flock of seagulls swarm me because I didn’t cover my French fries, but I think it’s mostly due to the fact that birds are animals with sharp weapons on their face and wings that can make their attacks unpredictable.
Luke leans against the railing beside me, the picture of ease as he watches down below.
“I’m so sorry, Harper.”
I let out a frustrated breath. Fear and anger mix to make a dangerous cocktail of emotions.
“Stop saying that,” I mutter.
He’s quiet for another moment, the roar of the water filling the silence.
“How can I make it up to you?”
I let myself think about it. Dump Cassie and spend the rest of our vacation just the two of us, stumbling around awkwardly pretending that he doesn’t have a crush on me.
But maybe that’s the thing; he doesn’t have a crush on me. Not anymore when he’d rather spend time with Cassie. And so what if he likes Cassie? Luke didn’t like some of my boyfriends and he never put up a fit. Why do I have any right to say he shouldn’t hang out with Cassie?
I force myself to take a deep, calm breath. “I just want to enjoy exploring Iceland. But I don’t want to do it as a third wheel.”
“I can tell Cassie to go away?” he offers. I feel a ping of longing, wanting what he says so badly, but I feel guilty making him send her away.
I sigh loudly. “If you guys are having fun, have fun. Don’t make me the party pooper.”
“What do you want me to do then?”
I stare at the waterfall trying to ignore the occasional bird that flies into view, wondering how something so magnificent can be in front of me while it feels like everything around me is in shambles.
“Go have fun,” I shrug. “You two can go off on your little adventure. I’ll meet you back at the Airbnb tonight.
” Part of me worries that he won’t be at the Airbnb tonight and that instead he’ll stay the night in Cassie’s van.
The thought makes me nauseous. I should be happy because then we wouldn’t have to awkwardly share a bed, but I’d rather do that than think of Luke and Cassie cuddled up on the small bed in her van.
“No, I’ll stay with you.” Luke’s words make my heart swell, but the feeling is immediately replaced with guilt. Those words mean something different to Luke than they do to me. It would be unfair to string him along.
I shake my head. “I’ll be fine. I’m sure Cassie would love the company.”
It hurts the words to say it, to push him away so clearly, but I know I need to.
I wait for him to protest again, to insist that he still wants to stay with me, but he doesn’t. This time, he agrees.