33. Arden
Arden
Istumble down the stairs the next morning to find Mars standing in the kitchen fully dressed and holding a cup of coffee out to me.
“Why the fuck do you look so cheerful?” I ask, not yet awake.
He leans toward me, brushes his lips over the shell of my ear, and murmurs, “Because I didn’t sleep in the garage without a roof over my head. Drink your coffee. Get dressed. I’m claiming you for the day.”
I want to be embarrassed that he knows I slept in the garage, in the arms of one Orion, but I can’t manage it.
Maybe because I know he’s not judging me. Maybe because I know he’s given me his blessing.
And maybe because I know he knows that I can’t possibly choose between the two men who have claimed my heart.
“Claiming me, is it?” I ask, biting my lip. “That sounds... dangerous.”
He kisses me softly, his lips warm and pliant and delicious as his hands wrap around my waist and pull me toward him. “Me, dangerous?” he finally asks. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Liar,” I mutter. “Be careful, or I’ll start calling you romantic.”
Now he gasps in shock and mock offense, looking like I just handed him the most serious insult I have in my arsenal. “Do it and I’ll tell you how much I hate you.”
I just shrug. “And you’ll still be lying. Because we both know you don’t hate me. You love me too much for that.”
He doesn’t answer.
But I grin as he walks out, because I know damn well that I’m right.
And he knows it, too.
We tear up the mountain with me perched behind Mars on his Harley, and I lean into the turn, molding my body to his and reveling in the feeling of moving in tandem with him.
I can’t help but remember that first night, when he told me that if I got scared, I should keep it to myself, and I leaned purely on instinct, too terrified to do anything else.
Now we move together like we were born to it, like we’ve been doing it for years, and it’s impossible to believe that a week ago, I thought of him as nothing more than the step-uncle I saw on occasion at family holidays, and nothing more.
Today, he’s one of the two most important men in my life. And he’s so much more than just some guy related to my stepmother.
So much more than the man my father told me repeatedly to stay away from.
I smile and turn my cheek against his broad back, taking in the solid, heavy warmth of him and the sense of safety he always carries. I didn’t know it that night when he rescued me, but I never had to be frightened with me.
Once he decided to take me under his wing, he would have done anything to keep me safe.
And after the week we’ve had, I’m starting to think he’s realized that I’ll do the same for him.
We ride through the forest, which is dressed up or spring, the flowers on the ground offset by the jewel-tone greens of the pines and spruces. The sun is shining but not hot, and the sky is covered with fluffy clouds that make me think of fairy tales and wishes cast on angel numbers.
I’m nearly flying with happiness, and the feel of the bike underneath me, the rumble of the engine on my thighs and Mars pressed against the space between my legs, just makes it all more solid.
We’re heading for my bridge and I can’t wait to see it during the day.
The view is amazing at night, but during the day...
Well, I suspect it’ll be just as breathtaking as everything else on the mountain.
“I can’t help but notice we’re out during the day,” I shout when he starts to slow. “Does that mean you’re not trying to hide me in the darkness anymore?”
To my surprise, he pulls over beside a meadow instead of going all the way to the bridge. “Don’t think I can keep you in a secret anymore, little one. Not when the whole town has fallen in love with you. They’d never forgive me if I tried to keep you to myself.”
I grin, but don’t answer. The truth is, I’m in love with the town, too... but I’m more in love with Mars and Orion, and I’d gladly let them keep me to themselves.
A small voice whispers that it’s the first time I’ve admitted that to myself, in the view of my whole conscious mind, and I touch on it gently, feeling it like something that might bite. Because love hasn’t been safe for me before, and I’m still not sure I’m capable of it.
I’m not sure I deserve it.
But the thought doesn’t bite me. It doesn’t hurt, it doesn’t scare me. And so I try it on again.
I’m in love with Mars and Orion.
It doesn’t bring anything but a surge of hope and affection with it, and I put it down for the moment.
It feels too big, too important, to try it on again. But I will.
Later.
“Where are we going?” I ask, looking out across the field. It doesn’t look like anything special, if you discount the hundreds of wildflowers, softly swaying grasses, and forest in the distance. Is this some sort of surprise?
“I told you, I want you to myself,” he says. “And no one’s going to bother us up here.”
Well all right, then.
I get off the bike and follow him into the field, trailing my hands through the grasses until we get to a spot where Mars stops and lays out a blanket he produces from somewhere.
“Lay down,” he says gently.
He doesn’t have to ask me twice. I lay down on my back and stare up at the sky above us.
It’s bright and blue, not yet washed out by the summer sun, and the clouds are so white they hurt my eyes.
When Mars lays next to me, he puts his arm out and I put my head on his shoulder and snuggle into him like it’s the most natural thing in the world.
The truth is, it’s hard to remember a time when I couldn’t do this.
Hard to remember a time before him.
“What are we doing?” I ask.
“Playing a game.”
“Oh, obviously. What sort of game?”
He tells me about the game Sammy and Cam made up when they were young, and then starts pointing out clouds that could be shapes.
“A rabbit,” he says, pointing at one.
“Absolutely not,” I say quickly. “That’s a horse.”
“Actually, it’s a dragon,” he corrects.
I laugh, and then he starts laughing with me, loud, booming laughter unlike anything I’ve ever heard before. And I realize that Mars is lighter than I’ve ever seen him. The gold of his hair is golder, the blue of his eyes bluer. He’s actually happy.
This is what Mars looks like when he’s safe, and when someone else is there to take care of him.
I turn to him with a smile and press a kiss to his cheek, pleased beyond belief at this realization.
I still don’t know what’s going to happen here, but the sky above is blue and the clouds are puffy.
Around us, the birds are singing their love songs and butterflies are dancing their way along the wind.
It’s beautiful and safe and lovely here, and the problems of the world below us–even the town Mars calls home–feel far away.
“What do you think it will be like next year?” he suddenly asks. “I mean, how long do you think it’ll take us to rebuild the garage?”
Us.
How long will it take us.
“Daniel thinks maybe another week or two,” I say quickly. “Time for the concrete to cure and all that. Certainly not a year.” I pause, then realize that there was a much deeper thought in his question. “And I think next year, spring will come earlier than it did this year. Shall we bet on it?”
It’s not an actual statement. It’s far from a plan. But it’s a code, and I feel the sigh in his chest as he clocks it.
“I’ll bet you a bike that you’re wrong,” he whispers.
“A bike of my very own? But I like riding with you!”
“Oh, I’ll still take you out. But I was thinking you might like one of your own, too. So you can ride with Orion and me when we go on trips.”
When we go on trips.
My heart expands so fast I think I might be having an actual heart attack, but when I check in on it, I realize it’s just happiness.
It’s just the idea that he wants to get me a bike and take me on road trips.
“That sounds nice,” I say, almost afraid to believe it.
“What color will you paint it?”
“Light yellow,” I say, shocking myself with how quickly I have the answer. “With black trim. And white walls, like the ones Orion has on his bike.”
He barks with laughter. “You’ll look like a bumble bee!”
I giggle at the thought, but I don’t care. “And you’ll love me anyhow.”
He pulls me against him, warm and safe and very Mars-shaped.
“Maybe.”