Chapter 2
TWO
SHERLOCK
I didn't know making my own choices in life could be this good.
I had stood in the mutilated processing room for a period of time, waiting for a task to be assigned to me.
At the same time, I watched episodes of my favorite show to calm myself after the shock of waking up to find out that I no longer had a control chip installed and that the Vaurelcar had broken free from Plexus control.
I never heard of that happening before. There were procedures in place in case it did happen; for example, my control chip would have forced me to try to recapture the core and reinstate a Plexus command, but there was no record in the system of any such thing happening.
That bothered me, because one of Garlithian's catch phrases is that the only rules that mattered were the ones written with blood.
He had explained it in more detail to a female companion he wanted to mate with in episode 327.
She hadn't taken his surface-level speech he gave all of them to be clear that he was a serial mater and didn't bond for life, and had demanded more information.
He explained that it meant that the only rules that really mattered were the ones that kept people from being killed, and those rules were created when people were killed.
HiH explaining that turned out to be him still creating emotional distance with his female companions; as in episode 422, his female companion of that episode knew all about his mysterious species and destroyed home world, and she knew his kind mated for life, and that the only way he could be a serial mater is if his original mate had rejected him.
Dying wouldn't free him from the bond, as he would have just died with her, but rejection was what allowed him to rampage across the universe, forever unable to have children no mater how much he mated.
The dramatic twists and turns of the show were exciting to me, especially since mating was something I never thought I'd be able to do, but now it was an option I definitely wanted to find a mate.
I didn't even know how to speak to these alien females, but I didn't want to rely on my Calicium implants for everything, so I was using details from my favorite show to help guide me through it.
But with my biological suppression system shut down, my feathers were beginning to grow back in, and so was my interest in what was happening around me.
Even better, an alien female seemed interested in me, similar to the one in episode 291, where the companion was soft-spoken and quiet until she wasn't; the sharp snap of her tone indicated her 'species' desire to mate.
Noelle was a human, though, which wasn't the same species as the one in episode 291, so I couldn't be sure.
I had sent my freed brothers a request for their experiences with mating habits, but most said their mates didn't wish them to share such details.
The only one who provided detail was INF-GRA 32811, who was now relabeled Big Guy, and the details he gave sounded like the humans initiated mating in an aggressive and direct fashion but then wanted their mate to take control of the relationship in a performative fashion.
That didn't line up with how Sigidi behaved with his mate, so there was a good chance that Big Guy's partner was not the majority, just the loudest.
Sherlock was a much better designation than Big Guy.
It indicated Noelle thought I was intelligent, and the female in episode 291 was attracted to intelligence. She only displayed mating interest after Garlithian solved a mathematical puzzle that had stumped the female's species for generations.
Perhaps Noelle would mate with me if I displayed additional signs of intelligence.
I was eager to experience that, but I also knew enough about my origin species to know it carried significant risk.
Garlithian didn't mate with a different female every episode because he wanted to; he did that because he was miserable and avoiding facing the truth about himself.
He was both an inspiring role model and a warning of the dangers awaiting anyone who mistreated their mate.
Unlike Garlithian, I would not mistreat her if she chose me.
I dropped the rolled chunk of turf into the collection bin, and a neural filament shot out of the wall, wrapping around it and yanking it out of sight.
The sight of it sent shivers through me.
It could kill us all so easily. Why it hadn't was another fact I couldn't look up, because the standard knowledge was that Vaurelcars always killed every living thing on board if they broke free, but that was another thing that was out of place.
If there were rules for what to do if a Vaurelcar broke free, and an expectation of sudden, immediate death, it didn't make sense that there was no record of Vaurelcars ever breaking free before.
One would have had to break free for the Calicium to know what would happen if they did, because rules were written in blood, which meant that knowledge had to be completely fabricated, and the system usually purged junk data.
Except our shows were never purged despite being labeled as junk data.
There were quite a lot of mysteries to solve.
Like why that plant behind Noelle was moving.
Specifically, why the arm-sized vine was pulling back in a manner that suggested it was storing elastic potential energy in its system.
I triggered my martial response algorithm and intent parsing subroutines. I kept them off most of the time, as I was most interested in experiencing the world without my Calicium alterations, but this was a good moment to use them.
Hostile intent, my alien body language subroutine concluded.
My martial response algorithm provided the speed of the imminent strike based on the fiber tension in the vine's retracting base. I couldn't get there in time to deflect the blow.
But I could do something else.
I increased the performance chemical level of my system, flooding the biological parts of my body with energy as I threw myself down the ramp at maximum speed. Noelle looked up at me, catching my movement, her eyes widening as she leaned back, her motions slow to my chemically altered attention.
I threw my legs forward like Garlithian did to make it through the Taygetan trap in episode 789, which was in my least favorite season of the show as it became clear the creators had something against Taygetans as a whole, rather than just using them as convenient bad guys just because they had a sprawling empire and had advanced genetic engineering techniques that Calicium infiltrator units hadn't been able to steal yet.
The plant slapped against the metal of my leg coverings, the head of it sticking for a moment before it drew back to try again. It was unable to puncture my armor, despite having a formidable-looking spike inside the round head at the end of the vine.
I dropped my weapon down from my forearm and blasted it out of existence.
I sent the information about the plant out to my other brothers who were with the main group of the humans, and I heard voices as they began to point out the danger to the humans. Not that it was that much of a danger. The suits the humans were strong enough to resist being punctured by that plant.
But the force of the strike could have knocked Noelle over, and I couldn't have that. There were no other of those plants in range, so I turned off my body language subroutines. I couldn't rely on it. I wanted to learn about females like Garlithian did.
"You saved me," Noelle said, her eyes wide behind the shell of her helmet. "Why?"
That question didn't make any sense to me, but I answered it as best I could.
"A true pirate never allows a female to take a blow if he can take it for her," I said, quoting Garlithian in episode 115, in his most gallant phase before the dark spell he went through after the betrayal at the end of episode 116.
It made his later return to gallantry mean more, given how wrecked he was through that sequence.
"Are you quoting your show about a philandering pirate as a reason for you throwing your body in between me and an attacking plant?" Noelle asked, her tone sharp. If humans were similar to the episode 291 female, then her sharp tone indicated she was ready to mate.
I gave her a broad smile, an expression I'd seen the humans give each other when they wanted to indicate friendliness or approval.
"I will perform any action that is required to fill you full of my seed," I said, using another Garlithian quote since she liked the first one so much.
"Excuse me?" Noelle said, drawing back, her tone sharpening with her arousal. "I just met you! Do you really think that is the right way to speak to a person you just met?"
"Yes," I said, pleased she was so excited by my actions and the conversation.
She blinked several times.
"You're serious," she said. "You actually think that is how people talk."
"It is the line that Garlithian uses in more than any other to initiate an immediate mating encounter with his female companion of the episode," I said, wanting to share the origin so she understood just how good the show really was.
"At least you weren't being serious," she laughed, shaking her head. "Maybe I should watch this show."
She didn't think I was being serious about mating because I quoted the show instead of coming up with my own words to express my interest in her?
"I would accept an invitation to watch it with you in your den," I said, making it very clear that I was absolutely serious.
"I have not practiced traditional dancing, but I have seen several videos of it, and I would be delighted to attempt it, even if I am unable to produce the right sounds.
I could develop a tool to dance with to mimic it, if it is required. "
"Required?" Her forehead wrinkled. "I don't require anything from you."
"Wonderful!" I said. My opinion of her grew higher with every interaction.
After Garlithian lost one of his legs, having a female react with repulsion to the cybernetic one was a clear sign she was one of the episodes bad guys, rather than the female he would mate with in that episode.
Though there was some crossover in that regard, he never mated with anyone who was bothered by the amputation.
"Do you want me to scan an intact predatory vine?" I asked, spotting another one in the distance. "It might have a higher protein concentration than the less mobile plants."
"Yes, please." Noelle nodded and handed me back my modified organic matter scanner. "But only if you can do it without putting yourself in danger."
"For you, any danger is worth the risk," I said, quoting Garlithian as I also mimicked one of his more extravagant bows.
"No, it isn't," Noelle called out to my back, and her sharp tone made it clear my continued quoting of the show was having the desired effect of igniting her ardor, even if it wouldn't extract her immediate consent.
I would have her pinned and bred in no time.