Chapter 27
JACK
I bounce up and down to the steady rhythm of Paris by Magic Man.
Listening to one of the playlists Amy created for my workouts only brings the memory of her back.
Shit, she’s not even real. It’s Emmeline Lancaster.
CEO of VAES, one of the fastest growing companies in America.
We haven’t spoken since the night I left her home.
The conflicting thoughts keep me awake at night and in a foul mood.
Things with Amy are strictly professional, and she hasn’t even noticed the change in me. Is it because she knows why I’m angry or because she doesn’t care?
Sticky sweat soaks my light hoodie. I’ve been running for about an hour.
I pant as I wipe my mouth with the sleeve.
The chilly air and peaceful streets make missing her less painful.
I have this strange sense of loss since I left Emmeline.
I can’t shake it. My heart pounds against my chest, and I lengthen my strides, trying to reconcile both women with just one and forget what happened between us.
It’s almost impossible. I miss our lengthy conversation during the day.
The anticipation of her next quote, playlist, or what she had chosen for lunch that day.
Should I try to meet the real person behind that screen?
There has to be an explanation for why she introduces herself as Amy and not Emmeline.
As I approach my apartment, I’m yet to decide if I’ll let my guard down and ask her why she’s been so absent over the past few days.
Monday, May 9th, 7:28 a.m.
AWalk90 sent you a playlist.
Monday, May 9th, 8:04 a.m.
AWalk90: How was your weekend?
JSpear84: We need to overnight some contracts to my lawyer.
AWalk90: The delivery guy should arrive at your office before nine. Be gentle, he’s new.
JSpear84: What happened to Jared?
AWalker90: He’s on a two-week vacation. The new guy is not a temp. They’re expanding the team since we have more clients in the area.
They, or you decided to expand the clientele in the area?
JSpear84: Are you dumping me?
How appropriate of you. Okay, it’s safe to say that I’m still upset at her. Mainly because I hate the uneasiness this situation has created, but I haven’t yet decided if I can trust her.
AWalk90: Your contract expires in less than a month. May I suggest you hire an assistant for Carla? You need a bigger team, and she’s going to need time for her new baby. Have you looked into adding a daycare facility to your company? I could connect you to the right people.
Have I ever told her how to run her company?
I sigh and change the subject because I hate knowing that she’s leaving me soon.
I want to ask Emmeline why she’s so secretive about her work.
And I’d like to ask Amy why she’s so secretive about her private life.
Is one or the other a fraud? But I have the upper hand by knowing her secret.
I decide to keep it strictly business and just count my losses.
JSpear84: Make sure you send me Mr. Genji’s translation before lunch.
AWalk90: Consider it done.
Tuesday, May 10th, 7:45 a.m.
AWalk90: You have a meeting tomorrow, I’ll make a reservation at Rioja’s, unless you want to make changes and do something different.
JSpear84: Something different?
AWalk90: Last week you said you would make it yourself, then it was a table for two. This week you’re barely talking, and I’m not sure what to expect.
JSpear84: You’re not going to use your ninja powers this time.
AWalk90: I’m in the middle of a family crisis. Sorry if I don’t indulge you (not sorry). My best friend lost his job, and I’m trying to find something for him.
JSpear84: Friend or family?
AWalk90: Laura and Alistair are my best friends. He’s like a brother to me. I’ve known him since elementary school. They have a new baby and they’re the only family I have.
I recall the wedding picture of Laura and Alistair, along with little Simone. They’re the only people she talks about. As much as I want to keep distance between us, I can’t fight the need to help her.
JSpear84: I’m sorry to hear about your friends. What kind of work does he do?
AWalk90: He’s a computer geek. That’s how Laura describes it. Actually, he’s the guy who supports our websites and servers and make sure this chat works. He studied computer science at MIT.
JSpear84: Send me his resume.
AWalk90: No, don’t worry about it. I’ll find him something. It’s just taking me a little longer than usual. Sorry if I’m off the grid, but I’m making sure everything is done on time. I’d hate to upset you.
JSpear84: Since when do you care about upsetting me?
AWalk90: You like things done a certain way. It’s obvious I’m having someone help me at the moment.
I blink twice, and it all makes sense. She’s been absent. Everything that’s been done is with little to no interaction. She still doesn’t know about me. I decide to keep the chat going, even offer my help. Before I make any rash decisions, like saying goodbye, I want closure.
JSpear84: As I said, send me his resume. I thought you collected favors.
AWalk90: Yes, but on a client to client exchange. I never use them for my family or me.
JSpear84: So, you’ll be owing me a personal favor?
AWalk90: You’re insurable. What about tomorrow’s reservation?
JSpear84: Table for one at Rioja’s. I haven’t talked to her.
AWalk90: Why?
JSpear84: It’s complicated. I realized we’re not that compatible.
AWalk90: You’re not compatible, or shit got real?
JSpear84: Isn’t that the same?
AWalk90: I didn’t know the big bad wolf was afraid of something, like commitment. Come on, Jackson Spearman is not scared of anything. Give this a try. How bad can it be?
It is bad, Amy, because when you fuse your personality with Emmeline’s I can’t fucking think straight.
JSpear84: I’m coming out of an awful relationship, I wasn’t in love with her, but we hurt each other a lot. This woman could annihilate me.
I read the sentence twice. That’s not what I meant to say, is it? But after sending it, I realize it’s true. Amy has made me feel more than any other person. Even more, now that I realize she and Emmeline are the same person.
AWalk90: Maybe she could, but what if she doesn’t? What if she’s actually the person who saves you from living alone for the rest of your life?
There she goes trying to fix my life.
“Well, Amy, what if you’re the one who is supposed to fucking save me? You can’t because you’re not real. Emmeline scares the shit out of me. She dragged me into her little fantasy. A fucking fairy tale I was tempted to actually create for her.
JSpear84: Save me from what?
AWalk90: Being alone for the rest of your life.
JSpear84: Are you alone, Amy?
AWalk90: Didn’t I just tell you about my best friends? They are my family. How can I be alone if I have them?
JSpear84: Are you afraid to accept that you’re just like me? On that note, I have a family too.
AWalk90: I wouldn’t be afraid to tell you if I were single.
JSpear84: Then you accept that you are lonely and avoiding feelings like I do.
AWalk90: What happened to my fiancé? Or was it a boyfriend? No, you said a husband. I’m happily married.
Sadly, you are as lonely as I am. Even worse, you’re waiting for some magical love that will never happen. And why the fuck do I feel a responsibility to make it a reality? Okay, so she can pretend to be two people. I can do the same. I crack my knuckles and type.
JSpear84: I think I’ve got your number. You are single and hiding behind the screen.
AWalk90: Now you’re talking about yourself, Spearman.
JSpear84: There’s no point in continuing this conversation.
AWalk90: You’re right.
AWalk90: Operation: Spearman-Tinder is on!
JSpear84: I don’t want a Tinder account!
AWalk90: It’s not about wanting anymore. It’s about needing.
JSpear84: What is it, you’re happy, and you have to make sure everyone around you is too?
AWalk90: No, you were happy and now you’re more…
AWalk90: On edge.
JSpear84: Let it go, the whole thing was fucking messy.
AWalk90: I can’t understand why you’re dumping the best thing that’s happened to you just because emotions are messy.
AWalk90: You’re overanalyzing my comments.
AWalk90: You were happy. What took away your spark?
AWalk90: Let’s take the bitch down!
JSpear84: Which bitch?
I stare at the screen confused, my fingers ready to type but I have no idea what else to tell her.
AWalk90: The one you were dating? Did she dump you? It’s okay, tell Amy what happened?
AWalk90: Did she discover you’re an ogre?
AWalk90: She wanted you just for your money?
JSpear84: Actually, I found out she is a very successful woman.
AWalk90: So, you googled her and realized she’s your competition?
JSpear84: No, why would I be cyberstalking her?
JSpear84: Let’s get this straight, I don’t feel threatened by successful women.
JSpear84: Does that happen to you often? Men feeling intimidated because you kickass at what you do?
AWalk90: Aww, I got a compliment.
AWalk90: Yes, earning more than a man can be threatening to some, not all. What happened with her?
JSpear84: Look it isn’t about her money, my money or anything like that.
AWalk90: Do you want to get back with her?
JSpear84: I didn’t say that.
AWalk90: You’re not sure either way. Is it fear of finally opening up?
AWalk90: She made you happy, which means you can still save this. You’ll have to grovel if you just ghosted her. Surprise her with the best date ever.
JSpear84: How do I know what would be the best date ever?
AWalk90: I knew it, you really like her.
JSpear84: Focus, Amy, and don’t gloat. What is Amy short for?
AWalk90: Focus, Spearman, we have to save your future, or I’ll end up creating a personal ad to get you a happy ending. (Amelia, I hated it.)
Hated it? I frown and stare at the screen. Did she change her name? That would make a lot of sense.