Chapter 35
JACK
Last Sunday night, I arrived home to find it empty with a note from Emmeline.
I wanted to say sorry. I just can’t do this to you or to myself. You deserve everything, not only half of a heart.
Those words were perfect, fitting, but there was more going on behind those words. She’s afraid to be left behind, so she leaves when the feelings get real. I wouldn’t doubt that she’s about to dump Jackson Spearman too. Our contract ends tomorrow.
Today, I’ve barely had any contact with her. I hurt too much to act casual. For a change, I begin my day by visiting Carla who stares at me with an open mouth and an astonished expression.
“This is a surprise,” Carla, my assistant says as she lets me inside her home. “What can I do for you?”
“If I say I was just in the neighborhood and decided to visit you, would you believe me?” I look around her tidy house. There’s no indication that she has a baby around.
“What can I do for you?” She waves toward the living room.
“You’re due back tomorrow,” I explain, taking a seat on her leather couch. “I should’ve come sooner, but I’ve been dealing with other issues. However, we’re expanding the team. Jason is now working full time with us, and Amy suggested we hire an assistant so you can have more free time.”
“VAES is a great company,” she offers. “If it weren’t for the benefits, I’d be applying for a job there.”
“Why would you say that?” I ask confused.
“Ms. Lancaster sent a cleaning crew yesterday to make sure I had everything ready for my first day of work,” she explains. “She swears it was your idea, but we know better, don’t we?”
I laugh along with her. “Where is your daughter?”
“In daycare,” she answers. Carla reaches out for a picture to show me. “Ms. Lancaster found me a great place, and she suggested I begin the transition last week. Every day, I’m taking Dahlia there for a couple of hours, so she gets used to the new environment.”
I hand her a manila envelope.
“The human resources department is waiting for you to fill out the requirements for your assistant.”
She gives me an incredulous glare. “You want me to find a replacement for myself and then you’ll fire me? I assure you my husband and I have someone qualified to take care of my daughter while I’m working. I cannot lose this job, sir.”
“You’re not losing your job,” I assure her. “Would you like my lawyer to draw up a contract? Because you’re an essential asset to me. I don’t want to lose you, Carla.”
She studies me carefully. “I’m going to need that contract if you don’t mind. This is so unlike you.”
I laugh, nodding.
“What happened to you?” She looks at me closer with worry etched in her face.
Got my ass handed to me by a woman a foot shorter than me. Not to mention my heart ripped out of my chest and shred into a million pieces.
“Emmeline Lancaster,” I answer and stand up from my seat. “I’ll see you on Monday, Carla.”
“I’m supposed to come back tomorrow,” she clarifies.
“Take the day off, on me,” I say before leaving.
From: E. Lancaster
To: J. Spearman
Subject: Contract
Friday, June 10th, 3:00 p.m.
Mr. Spearman,
Thank you for allowing us to assist you over the past few months. If you need anything from VAES, please make sure to contact us. It was a pleasure working with your company.
Regards,
E. Lancaster
Friday, June 10th, 3:19 p.m.
AWalk90: Is it true that you’re following my recommendation and hiring an assistant for your assistant?
I stare at the chocolate statue she sent me that says, Award for the Not So Soulless boss.
JSpear84: You got to be kidding. You sent me a fucking award?
AWalk90: I think it’s fitting.
JSpear84: Where do you find time to do this kind of stuff?
AWalk90: I have an assistant.
JSpear84: How have you been? You disappeared on me.
AWalk90: I’m in Boston. Taking some time off while packing my best friend’s things. Visiting my sister …
My mind explodes as I read that. What does that mean?
JSpear84: Your sister lives in Boston?
AWalk90: Visiting my sister’s grave, did I tell you she died?
JSpear84: I’m sorry for your loss. I thought you were an only child.
AWalk90: No, I wasn’t. My sister always wanted to be. Sometimes I wish it had been me and not her.
Fuck, baby, don’t say that. I’d die if you weren’t here. I touch the monitor hating that she’s going through this while so far away. But I’m glad that she’s finally stepping up and doing something for herself.
JSpear84: Have you seen your parents?
AWalk90: No.
JSpear84: Are you okay?
AWalk90: I’m dealing. Having a lot of emotional baggage is heavy on the soul.
JSpear84: Thank you for completing your assignment.
AWalk90: You are very welcome, sir.
JSpear84: How long are you staying in Boston?
AWalk90: I’m helping my best friend pack—with one hand. She’s moving closer to me.
JSpear84: What happened to Steamboat?
AWalk90: I never learned his last name.
JSpear84: It’s over then?
AWalk90: Yes, sadly. He’s perfect, but I’m not going to spend a lifetime trying to meet his expectations.
We never talked about serious stuff, like you and I do.
And, If I’m being honest, he doesn’t challenge me.
He doesn’t challenge me, and honestly, I don’t see how I can get close to him, when he barely speaks about his work and family.
Maybe he’s too perfect because he’s got something to hide.
AWalk90: I’m not taking all the blame nor am I blaming him for everything.
JSpear84: Relationships are crap, keep yourself away from them. That’s the secret to a better life.
Friday, June 10th, 9:27 p.m.
AWalk90: You’re wrong. One day, I’ll find my soulmate.
I’ve seen people happy together for years.
I introduced Alistair to Laura, and I swear the moment they saw each other that was it.
I witnessed it. I want that same kind of connection with another person.
Maybe that’s why I’m trying to change my life I thought I had it with him, but perhaps it was only superficial.
AWalk90: I wish I could fuse two people into one. He’d be the perfect guy for me.
JSpear84: Find yourself first. If it’s meant to happen, he’ll wait for you. Maybe it’s not supposed to happen now, but later.