Chapter 38
EILEEN
Despite how confident and calm I tried to sound in front of Jason, I’m stressed out of my mind.
There’s a million ways this wedding can go wrong and only one way for it to go right.
If anything’s out of place, it’ll be held against me.
It will probably come up at every family function for the rest of my life.
Maybe I should stop arriving late and just ditch them all. Now there’s a happy solution.
I don’t look back as I head into my parents’ house. But the second the door shuts, I glance through the peephole. Jason’s car stays out there for a minute before peeling out of the driveway.
I shudder as my heart skips a beat. He’s a good friend, I tell myself. He isn’t kidding about ditching the wedding if I want.
Too bad ditching was never an option.
I would do anything for my family. That’s what families are supposed to be for—banding together in the hard times and cheering each other on in the easy times.
Family is supposed to be there when no one else is. Regardless of our flaws, they’re supposed to see past that and help us pick ourselves back up—just like we’d do for them.
Jason is right. I’m loyal to a fault. I have a sense of responsibility to my family that they’ve never had towards me, even when things were better around here.
Charlie used to be so good, though. She’s so sensitive, but she had such a kind heart. She was so empathetic.
She was a fire that could only be quenched by helping others. That’s something I always admired about her. I think somewhere along the way, the person she was disappeared.
And so, I did everything in my power to get her back by assuming her life—living for her and everyone else instead of me.
I kinda feel like an idiot right now. But that’s life, I guess. I can’t get my sister back; I just have to live with the person she became.
Or don’t. Just walk away, I imagine Jason saying.
Maybe being a good aunt will remind Charlie of everything we used to have. Someday we might heal.
“Eileen, is that you?” my mom shouts.
I wipe a tear from the corner of my eye. “Yeah, I’m here.”
She comes storming into the living room. “Well, it’s about time. Come on, the stylist is here and she’ll need ample time to fix your hair.”
There’s no happy birthday hug or even an acknowledgment that today isn’t just about Charlie. I open my mouth to make a sarcastic comment, but I shut it. What’s the point?
Nodding, I numb myself a little. Besides getting trashed out of my mind, blocking everyone out is the only way I’m going to get through today.
It’s May 27th, my twenty-seventh birthday. I wanted it to be the most amazing birthday I’ve ever had and it still could be.
I just have to survive my family.
“Eileen, finally,” Charlie groans as I’m ushered into our parents’ bedroom. “Tiffany can’t start my hair until she finishes yours, and we’re already an hour behind schedule.”
“No, we’re not,” I say. “We have four hours until we need to leave for—”
“Actually, we’re leaving in two hours now because some of my LA friends surprised me and came in for the wedding,” she says. “And they want to drink before the wedding, and I want pictures with them before they’re too drunk on absinthe to stand.”
Joy, we have more unexpected guests.
Eileen: Her L.A. friends decided to come.
Jason: On it, don’t worry.
Eileen: Thank you. You’re the best.
Jason: No, you are but I’ll take the compliment.
“Cool,” I mutter. “Let’s hurry up then.”
Charlie grins. I haven’t seen that excitement in her eyes in a really long time.
Despite everything, Charlie is still one of the most important people in my life. Her being happy makes all of this seem less shitty.
Her wishing me a happy birthday would make all of this worth it. Even on the ride down to the venue, I wait for that moment.
It never comes.
That’s fine, I remind myself. All I have to do is survive this wedding. Whatever they do is fine. It’s Charlie’s big day. My mom’s dream wedding.
Everything is going to be fine.