Chapter 2
JUNE
You know that distracted friend who trips gracefully, loses her shit more often than not, and yet seems to be well put together?
In my circle of friends, that’s me, Juniper Spearman.
Not to push some dirt on said friend, but if she’s anything like me she’s far from perfect.
Let’s focus on me. People think I have my life together, but I just fake it. They think they can count on reliable June. Because June knows everything. (I have Google at the tip of my fingers if I don’t). She’s always ready. (Not really, I just carry everything in case I have to use it.)
Ha!
What they don’t know is that I’m just your average thirty-three-year-old.
There’s no magic, tricks, or secrets to my so-called life.
Seriously, the side no one sees is so much different.
Then add the list of mishaps I have to deal with every single day. There’s not a dull moment when people are around me. And I use my anecdotes as a way to keep my family in the loop and yet away from what’s really happening to me.
“We already told you everything about our new place,” Jeannette, my twin sister says, taking her phone back.
She just showed me the house she and her wife, Teagan, bought a month ago—in Hawaii. I wish I had something as cool as that or the pictures of my three-month-long honeymoon like them. I only have work stories.
“What’s happening with you?”
This is already weird. Jeannette and I were super close. We used to have a great twin connection and called each other every day. Last year, things between her and Teagan got serious. So now I’m an afterthought. Which is okay but weird—and lonely.
My life is going through a big change too but I’m not ready to tell her or my brothers so I use my latest tale to keep my life from her.
“So, check this out,” I say, “at the airport, I had one of those ‘you grabbed the wrong luggage’ moments. It was an accident—not my accident though. The couple in front of me grabbed my bag. It’s okay, I get it. Everyone has a black rolling bag. Everyone.”
“You don’t have it marked?” Jeannette asks, surprised.
I roll my eyes. “Of course, I do, can you not interrupt? So, I’m waiting for it and I’m already searching for my ticket because for sure I thought it’d be on its way back to Toronto. It wasn’t until this lady screamed, ‘These aren’t mine. Whose underwear is this, Leopold?’”
I lift my napkin waving it the same way the lady from the airport did with my stuff as I continue my story.
“This woman flaunts my favorite pair of lacy black panties like an enemy flag for everyone to see. Needless to say, everyone on the flight from Toronto to Denver plus the airport employees had their attention toward this lady—and my intimates.”
Jeannette and Teagan are already laughing at this point.
“You’d think that’s the worst part. But it’s not,” I continue. “I cleared my throat, walked with my chin up and shoulders back to her and said, “Those are mine.”
“So, everyone at the airport saw your underwear?” Teagan asks to clarify. “I would die if that happened to me.”
I almost died, but I smile, nod, and continue, “And to be honest, I should’ve phrased that sentence better, saying something like, that’s my bag.”
“Oh-oh, what happened?” Jeannette asks. Her eyes are already lighting up because she can feel there’s something worse and much more funny coming up.
“The next thing I know she’s opening the cosmetic bag where I have my toys and shows my pink rabbit thruster, saying, ‘So, you and my husband played with your toys. Is this what you like, Leo? Play with brainless twinkies?’
“Turning to look at poor old Leopold who might be Dad’s age I said, ‘next time grab the right bag, man.’ Without missing a step, I put my things back into my bag. Looked at the agent and said. ‘There’s nothing perishable inside unless you include my edible lube. Would you mind if I leave?’
The FTA agent nodded and waved toward the exit. Talk about doing the walk of shame.”
“Only you, June.” My twin sister, Jeannette, laughs as I finish my story. Her wife is choking with laughter.
Thankfully, it’s only us tonight. Sadly, she’s going to be telling this to our three brothers.
I can see how things will unfold. Jackson, the oldest, will judge me silently after laughing hard, because June, the baby of the family, shouldn’t be having sex—or sex toys.
Then, Alex will be asking stupid questions to embarrass me.
Jason will squeeze my hand and take the heat away from me.
“Leopold’s wife sounds like a bitch,” Jeannette says.
“Yep, I should’ve left the vibrator with her,” I agree, finishing my drink. “Leopold might not know how to show her a good time and that’s why she’s bitter.”
After I finish my story, we go quiet. I look around the restaurant trying to find a new story or something to talk about.
We’re at Diego’s Steak House. One of our favorite restaurants in Denver. Every time we’re visiting our brothers, we make sure to visit. Usually, I’d be having a great time. But this is considered okayish at best.
Jeannette brought Teagan along. Don’t get me wrong, I like Teag, but since they got married Jay and I don’t spend as much time together as we used to. Would it kill her to give me a couple of hours of her time?
I miss our twin time. This is exactly why she’s out of the loop on what’s happening to me. If and when she complains, I’ll remind her of the dozens of times she’s cut our phone conversations short and today.
Before I can come up with something new, they both look at each other, then Teag flags the waiter.
“We should head out,” Jeannette informs me.
See what I’m talking about? They’re a unit. No more June and Jeannette share a glance and make a plan. The twin connection is gone and so is happy hour whenever we’re together. I’m thrilled that she found her other half but I’m starting to feel left out.
Lonely.
“If you two will excuse me, I have to use the ladies’ room,” I say, and point at my empty glass. “Can you ask for another martini for the road?”
“High altitude,” Jeannette warns me. “Two more and you’ll be showing your favorite pair of panties to the entire restaurant—and this time you won’t be able to claim it was an accident.”
She cackles and I think she’s the drunk one of the two of us.
“Bitch,” I growl and march to the bathroom thinking about how I’m going to get back at her.
I swear she’s so loud, a few tables around us hear her and give me the look. Maybe I should tell her wife some embarrassing stories from when we were young. There’re plenty of those. That might keep them around for a couple of hours—at least one more hour. It’s too early to go back to the hotel.
On my way to the restroom, I try to come up with the best one.
Then pull out my phone to see if I have any old pictures.
I don’t pay much attention when I enter the restroom, put away my phone, and enter the stall.
After I’m done and while I’m washing my hands, I know exactly how Jeannette is going to pay for what she just did.
“Well, this is either a treat or the worst invasion of my privacy.”
I jump and shriek. My heart beats fast but I spin around toward the unexpected male voice. I’m not sure where I should concentrate my attention, his handsome face or the thick and meaty treat he’s holding in his hand.
Yummy, talk about girth and length.
“Wait, what are you doing in the ladies’ room?”
He laughs while putting away his well-endowed package. “I didn’t know they had urinals in the ladies’ room.”
“In the what?” I shriek and look around the bathroom.
And fuck if this isn’t worse than the airport. It’s Jeannette’s fault. She distracted me.
“Oh, well,” I say, smiling. “I will leave you with your …”
“You should show me something to make up for what just happened,” he says, with a hinting tone. “You know, tit for tat.”
“What?” I cover my boobs. “No.”
“Come on, at least show me those lacy panties everyone saw at the airport.”
“How do you know about my panties?”
“You and your sister don’t know the definition of inside voice,” he says and my cheeks heat up. Well, I gave a show to the entire restaurant. “At least, I think she’s your sister. You two could be twins, you know.”
“We are twins,” I clarify. “And, no, I won’t be showing you anything.”
He winks at me. “You liked what you saw, we could have a party with him as long as you’re willing to share.”
I don’t have time to respond, as my phone buzzes, I take it out of my purse.
Jeannette: Hey, we’re heading out. I already paid the bill. Are you sure you’re staying at the hotel?
Wow, she’s abandoning me. I get it, it’s cold and she has to drive to Jackson’s while I just need to walk a block to get to where I’m staying at tonight.
June: Yes, please don’t tell anyone I’m already here.
Jeannette: You owe me.
June: Love you!
Is it wrong to avoid the family for one night?
I’m not in the mood to deal with my brothers and their significant others, yet. We have an entire week to bond and be thankful for … What am I even thankful for this year?
Ugh, who cares. Mom, that’s who gives a shit about what we say before we eat. She is going to ask around the table and if possible, she’ll make us give an entire speech about it.
I love her dearly but she can be intense during the holidays. I’ll think about that tomorrow. I have a couple of days.
What I need today is … I look up and take a good look at Mr. Hot Package. He looks a little like Scott Eastwood with a few extra grays on his sideburns and stubble.
I need someone like …
Him?
“What are you doing?” he asks a little hesitant, almost wanting to snatch my phone.
“Telling my sister goodbye?” I ask, hoping that this clues him into what we can do for the rest of the night.
Do I really want to do him? I mean, he seems to have the whole package and what a great way to finish this chapter of my life before I write the next one than … this guy.
But we’re interrupted by an even taller guy who enters the bathroom, slamming the door against the wall. “What’s taking you so long?” He looks at me and says to his wrist, “We have a security breach.”
“She’s fine. Maybe a little tipsy but nothing to worry about,” the hot guy says to whoever just called me a security breach.
I take a good look at the hot specimen because maybe I missed something. He could be a celebrity. The real Scott but as I study him, I realize he’s no one I know.
“Let’s go,” the other guy orders.
“Ew, he hasn’t washed his hands,” I say, scrunching my nose.
They both laugh, but the guy humors me and marches to the sink. I excuse myself and leave. My sister left my jacket with the hostess. I put it on and start walking when I feel someone flanking me. As I glance over, it’s the guy from the bathroom.
“Can I help you?”
“Saw you’re leaving alone. I wanted to make sure you get to your destination in one piece.”
“This city is safe,” I inform him in case he’s from out of town. “But thank you for the offer. Where’s your babysitter?”
He laughs. “He’s not my anything, but that’s a good one. You’re leaving without paying what you owe me?”
Without turning to look at him and as I enter the hotel I say, “Good night, and for the record, I don’t owe you anything. It was too dark to notice your tiny thing.”