Chapter 19
JUNE
“Am I too dressed up for the occasion?” I ask Sterling as we enter the clinic.
Suddenly the black trousers, silk blouse, and my Burberry jacket seem out of place.
I should’ve worn something like what he’s wearing.
He’s dressed in a pair of jeans, a black Henley shirt, and a pair of boots.
According to him, it’s not too cold to wear a jacket.
It’s freezing but I won’t argue with him.
He looks sexy. Tall, lean, yet muscular and powerful. His presence relaxes me.
“There’s nothing wrong with what you’re wearing, you look hot,” he says, holding my hand.
Not sure about hot, but I think the outfit says, look I’m ready for my next meeting. Not, let’s make a baby. Of course, there’s no dress code to create a baby, is there?
“June Spearman,” I say. “I have an appointment with Dr. Travis.”
The receptionist looks at her monitor, then at me and types fast.
“You’re all checked in. The nurse will call you when she’s ready for you.”
I nod and take a seat.
“Do you want me to go in with you?” Sterling asks. He hasn’t released my hand since we left the apartment.
“It’s okay, I’ll be fine.”
“June Spearman,” the nurse calls me out.
Sterling squeezes my hand again, gives me a quick peck on the lips, and says, “I’ll be here waiting for you.”
As I walk away, I turn to look at him. His face doesn’t say much. But I swear I feel like he wants to stop me. I wave at him. He winks at me.
“Follow me,” the nurse orders and I do. Instead of heading to the exam room though, the nurse asks me to wait in the doctor’s office.
The doctor comes in rather quickly. He holds a folder and when he looks at me, he frowns.
“June, we received your lab tests earlier today,” he states. “We’d like to take another blood sample to verify the results.”
My heart thuds hard because two months ago, when I started the hormone therapy I was doing fine. Healthy and ready to have a baby.
“Is everything okay?”
He shrugs. “It might be. This is good news for you. I just need to verify a few things and we might want to refer you to a different doctor. When was the date of your last period?”
Well, that’s a weird question. I pull out my phone but answer, “Last week,” and pause, verifying my calendar.
“Yes, the twenty-sixth. But it was a light spotting. It happens sometimes. One month my period is light. The next four I’m in big pain for a week or so, feeling like I’m going to bleed out.
Then, I don’t have a period for a month or two. ”
“You had spotting in November?” he asks. I nod in response.
He scratches his head. “We definitely need that test or an ultrasound. What’s the date of your previous period? The one before November twenty-fifth?”
“Twenty-sixth,” I correct him and laugh when I check my calendar. “October thirty-first. I know, Happy Halloween.”
I roll my eyes.
He taps the folder, looks up to the ceiling, and says, “That’s almost six weeks of gestation.”
Gestation? What is he talking about?
“What?” I ask, confused.
“Did you have sex between October and November?” His question worries me.
“Fucking Sterling, do I have herpes or syphilis?”
He laughs. “Oh, not at all. You’re pregnant.”
“What?” I shriek. “No. I can’t just get pregnant? That’s impossible. You said it’d take more than a miracle.”
He takes his writing pad and a pen out of his pocket. “Take this to the pharmacy. The receptionist will give you an order for a sonogram. I want to make sure the gestational age is correct. I think we should start counting from October thirty-first. That’s—”
“Five weeks and four days,” I say, touching my belly. “This can’t be happening. I chose a good candidate. We faxed you the information yesterday. This can’t be happening. I made a very detailed plan.”
Suddenly, I’m furious because he just destroyed my plans. I march to the reception where he’s waiting and when he sees me, he grins at me. Someone should sucker punch him just like he did to me.
“You!” I’m so fucking angry at him. How dare he do this to me? “I can’t believe it. You ruined everything.”
His eyes widen and he lifts his hands. “What did I do?”
“I can’t believe it. I had a plan. We chose a candidate—together. This was foolproof. I … what the fuck, Sterling?”
Yeah, what the fuck?
I’m … pregnant.
And suddenly, overwhelmed with a million emotions, I begin to cry. Fucking Sterling Ahern rises from his seat and hugs me tight. His hand rubs circles on my back and his voice is soothing.
“It’s okay, whatever happened isn’t the end of the world,” he assures me. But he doesn’t understand how my world just changed—again.
“Ms. Spearman, here’s the order for the sonogram and the prenatal vitamins. Dr. Travis printed this list for you. He would like you to see an ob-gyn to begin tracking your pregnancy. Congratulations.”
“You’re pregnant?” Sterling asks with such joy that I cry even harder.
“Thank you,” he says, taking the papers from the nurse. “Babe, you’re scaring me. What happened?”
“I’m not sure. This wasn’t supposed to happen. I can’t have babies,” I assure him. “But now, this can’t be possible. And I want them, but this isn’t how I planned it.”
“Let’s go to the car,” he commands, as if trying to put me together because I just broke into a million pieces.
During the drive, I’m quiet, numbed, and I can’t think further. What am I supposed to do? As we park, I realize we’re outside a different building. Not his house.
“Where are we?” I ask.
“Give me a second,” he says and leaves the car with Beckett.
Beck walks away with a paper in his hand, while Sterling gets back in the car.
“Let’s talk,” he says. “What happened at the doctor’s office?”
I fidget with my lower lip. This isn’t supposed to be happening. “My plan was foolproof. What am I supposed to do now?”
Finally, I lift my gaze and look at him. I’ve never seen him look at me so serious. Maybe that’s not the word because the nostril flare is anger. Why is he upset?
Because he knows, and he has rules and if this isn’t part of my plan well, it’s everything he’s always avoided.
Pull yourself together, June. This guy is about to demand you lose the kid. Which I won’t do because I’ve been waiting for him and he’s mine—or her. Us against the world.
Taking a deep breath and wiping my face I say, “I’m pregnant. Please know I wasn’t being deceptive. With my condition—”
“Stop right there,” he interrupts me. “What exactly is the problem? Isn’t this what you wanted?”
I shrug. “It makes everything difficult. Having a baby from an anonymous donor was easy. In the future, when I get the question, where is Dad, the answer is simple. Now …”
Taking a deep breath, I look out the window wondering how I’m going to handle this pregnancy and the baby’s future.
I should just go back to San Francisco. There’s no point in staying. The reason I did it was because I wanted to be near the fertility clinic while this happened. Far away from the office because I need to rest.
Now … I have to leave because I’m bad at rejections and getting attached to this guy is getting too easy, but now he’s going to kick me to the curb, and it’ll break my heart to see how he’s going to reject the baby.
Our baby.
“Well, everything is different. I don’t want my kid to feel unloved but what can I say when they ask, where is my dad?” I ask figuratively and look at my lap realizing he’s holding my hands. “We won’t ask you for anything. I’ll have my lawyer draw a—”
“Stop,” he orders. “Don’t say shit that’s going to piss me off, Juniper. This wasn’t in your fucking calendar and I get it. It’s upsetting. If you ever say that you’re going to serve me with legal papers to take away my parental rights we’re going to have a big problem.”
“But I know how you feel about family.”
He nods. “Maybe so, but I was thinking that if I love my nephew like he’s mine, I imagine my own child might be the same—even more.”
“You barely see your nephew.”
“That implies seeing my brother and sister-in-law. I like them both but not enough to move to Tahoe.”
Beck arrives at the car and he taps on the window and opens the door. “They’re ready for her.”
Sterling nods and looks at me. “Come on, the technician is ready to see you.”