Chapter 27
STERLING
June and I fall into a comfortable routine. We have breakfast then ski during the early hours to avoid crowds and fans. When we’re back, she takes a nap and thankfully the ginger has worked for her. The morning sickness is only happening during the morning. Tomorrow we’re heading back to Denver.
Her parents arrive in a couple of days and we want to be settled into the house before it happens. I’m going to miss this. Denver is going to be back to reality and facing the facts. What are we going to do with our future?
Once her family learns that she’s expecting, they’re going to hate me and convince her that I’m not the best person to raise a child with—let alone two.
After we cook dinner together, we come to the den to watch a show or a movie. I’m usually with my sketchbook in one hand and a pencil in the other.
“What are you drawing?” she asks from the couch.
“You,” I answer.
“Seriously, what are you drawing?” she insists.
I cross my heart. “I’m dead serious. You seem to be the only thing I can think of when I touch a sketchbook and when I’m with you, I just want to capture your essence.”
She smiles but I can tell she doesn’t believe me. The guys she’s dated in the past felt threatened by her and tried to destroy her self-esteem. No wonder she believed the only way to have a child is by a mail-in order of sperm.
Well, I thank fuck it was me who fathered her children. Though, that has me tied into knots. This isn’t what I wanted—ever. Why would I want to bring a child into this world? An Ahern for that matter.
But I know they’ll be more than Ahern. They’ll have June in them and she’s a strong woman. They’ll be just like her. All this should freak me out. It’s not. My only concern is how I’ll convince June to stay with me because we belong together.
It’s like she’s completely mine.
The possession is incomprehensible. I don’t care about owning anything. Why do I have the need to claim her, protect her?
When we sleep together, I pull her into my embrace before we fall asleep. She doesn’t want to have sex, so we don’t confuse each other, but so far, she hasn’t kicked me out of bed. Thank fuck, I don’t think I can sleep without her.
God, I’m not sure what I’ll do if I can’t change and if I can’t convince her that I’m good for her.
Stay away, send enough money to make sure she can support the children.
The kids deserve a good father. That’s not me.
Some kids grow up just fine with one parent.
What did Kara say? You couldn’t even keep a bug alive, Sterling Ahern.
“Are you okay?”
“What?”
“Are you okay?” June repeats. “You look … distraught. Is it because my parents are visiting? It’s okay, you can stay away.”
I smile. “Nah, it’s … nothing.”
She leaves her computer on the coffee table, closes it, and walks to me moving the sketchbook from my hands. She smirks when she sees what I’m drawing.
“Seriously, my chest?”
“It’s beautiful.”
“Flat,” she argues.
“Your boobs are perky, round, and magnificent.”
“B cups aren’t attractive.”
“They are for me. I can fit them in my mouth and suck them while I fuck you.”
She places my sketchbook on top of her laptop and sits on my lap. “What’s going on?”
“Nothing, gorgeous girl,” I say and brush her soft locks away from her face.
I’m salivating for her. I want to undress her and touch her body. Skirting my hands under her sweater, I find her beautiful breasts. And I pray she lets me touch her. My dick is getting hard. Her mouth on me would be just perfect, she gives the best blow jobs in the world.
She places her hands on the sides of my face and gives me a soft peck. “Don’t distract me with sex. We’re not having any of that. Something just happened. Your face changed. In case you didn’t know, you wear your emotions. Any change and I know.”
Don’t leave me.
As I mentioned, the fucking common sense is gone. I am about to say something stupid. People think I have no discipline but hear me out, I have more than anyone in the world.
Two years of self-imposed celibacy. Seventeen years controlling my feelings and keeping my heart away from anyone—including this woman. Though she’s fucking breaking my determination. I can fuck any woman I want without feeling more than an orgasm.
With her …
“What are you doing to me, June?”
She shakes her head. “Not sure what you’re talking about, but I wish you’d open up to me. I trust you, why don’t you trust me?”
“You’ve gotten more out of me than a lot of people have in years, please don’t ask me for more.”
Because dammit I’d give it to her, and it’ll be hell to recover after she’s gone.
“June, I respect your rules and boundaries, but, baby, I’m a hot-blooded man and if you keep wiggling yourself on top of my dick, I’m going to fuck you.”
She leans closer and kisses me gently. “I’m not sure what to do with us, Ahern. Thank you for being patient with me.”
“Anything for you,” I say and don’t let her go. I’d rather sport a pair of blue balls than lose her. I love having her body nestled between my arms. “Always.”