Chapter 32
STERLING
“What is it that you want from me, June?” I ask, making my way to the kitchen and leaving a few yards of separation between us.
Every cell of my body shrills in protest. The hunger for her increases and it doesn’t matter how many times we fuck, I want more. She’s a sweet addiction I never want to give up—ever.
June stares at me. “Why did you move away?”
“I don’t think we can talk without a buffer between us. Unless, you want me to fuck you before we continue.”
She looks at me and then paces a couple of times. “Fine, talk. I’m getting mixed signals and I’m more confused about what’s happening between us.”
“Just to be clear, yesterday was one clusterfuck because we didn’t communicate.
I was working hard to convince you to stay by my side and the next thing I know, you moved to the house.
” I scratch my head and ask, “You should’ve told Beck or someone what was happening.
They believed they had helped you moved out. ”
“I did move out,” she confirms. “I was hoping you’d move in with me though.”
Shoving my hands back in my pockets to keep them from trying to reach out to her, I continue. “Well, that’s what phones are for. You call me and say, hey, your crazy family is invited for dinner and I think it’s time to move into the house—together.”
“My parents are arriving today,” she argues. “What were we going to do with them?”
I shrug, trying not to smile.
“Sterling?”
“We have a guest room at the penthouse,” I remind her.
“Why would we do that? This place is bigger.”
“It’s my domain. This house is different. I’m trying to woo you and convince you that I can change.”
She smiles and shakes her head. “I don’t need you to change, Sterling Ahern.”
“But I want to be the guy you deserve.”
She presses her lips together and sighs. “Maybe I do need you to change a little. How about you start by looking at yourself and realizing you’re an amazing guy? Yeah, your reputation is terrible but the guy I’m getting to know is nothing like him.”
“Does that mean you’re giving me a chance?”
June looks at me and I start pacing around waiting for her to let me down or to finally say, let’s just go with the flow. Instead, she confuses the fuck out of me. “To be clear, I like you. I think you’re handsome, smart, and good in bed.”
“Ouch, just good?” I glare at her. “Can I just get something out of the way before you bruise my ego even more?”
She rolls her eyes. “How can I bruise it? It’s so big and—”
“I thought we were talking about my ego, not my cock,” I say playfully. “But if you bruise it, I’ll let you kiss it better.”
“As I was saying,” she continues, ignoring my smug grin.
“You’re great but you’re not an ordinary guy.
Yet, you’re different from other famous people.
I’m confused. All I want is to be with a guy I can be sure of and will settle with me.
I can give you a chance but is this a, let’s have fun together until I’m bored or … I mean, you just said you’re mine.”
I nod.
“That’s a huge commitment and yet, it doesn’t sound like you committed to anything.”
“Do you want me to commit?”
She shakes her head. “Not if you don’t want to.”
I scratch my head. What the fuck does she want from me?
“This is going to sound contradictory, but here it goes. I don’t want you to be with me because I am having your babies.
I want you to be with me because of me.” She frowns and then says, “Actually, if you propose because my father and my brothers start pressuring you, it’s over between us.
This has to happen because it feels right—for both of us.
Not because we’re exuding desire and want to fuck like bunnies. ”
I laugh. “You’re cute,” I say. “Adorable. If you weren’t too far, I’d bend you over—”
June whips her head, points her finger, and glares at me. “Say it and it’ll never happen, Ahern. My point is, we haven’t been on a date. We’re practically living together but do we know each other?”
“It seems like you’re finding excuses to avoid what I told you.
As I said, I don’t need an answer, I need you to be aware of the situation.
” I place my palms flat on the island and lean over, closer to her.
Our eyes meet and as I hold her gaze, I repeat, “I. Belong. To. You. I’ll take whatever you give me.
No, I’m not proposing. Even if your father points a gun at me. ”
I’ve never felt more vulnerable in my entire life. Not even when I was a teenager fighting against my parents’ wishes.
“You confuse me.”
“You slay me, and I don’t think I have ever felt what I do for you,” I confess and lift my hand.
“Don’t ask me for a definition, June, I might never give it to you.
This is who I am. I’m not broken, just forged in a different way than many, and I can promise to be loyal but never to fit in your mold. ”
She nods. “Let’s give a chance to whatever is happening between us,” she concludes. “So, besides our complicated relationship, what are we going to do with our spawns?”
I chuckle because the term isn’t endearing but funny.
I’ve never wanted children or a family. I’ve said it enough times.
Until now. Fuck if I don’t want to be with her for every step of the way.
I can’t wait to see her swollen belly carrying my babies.
Listen to their heartbeat, hold them when they come into the world. I want everything with her.
“Raise them together, no matter how things progress, we’re in this together, baby,” I answer, hoping she can read between the lines because it’s obvious that me telling her that I can’t live without her was not only confusing but too much to handle.
I don’t regret setting my cards on the table. We’re meant for each other, she just has to come to terms with it.
“Can we have breakfast?”
I reach out to her and kiss her knuckles. “How about an appetizer?” I ask, wiggling my eyebrows.
“Appetizer?” Her voice quivers with need, her eyes brighten with desire.
“Do you know how much you turn me on when you wear my shirts?” I pull her closer, caging her between my arms. “Let me eat you before I feed you.”
“We shouldn’t,” she whispers.
“But we will,” I say and slant my mouth on hers.