Chapter 34
HANNAH
There’s nothing better than arriving at your house after being away for so long. What did I learn? To love my bed. God, I miss my soft pillow, my cat, candy, and sex.
Not in that particular order. There’s no real order to what I missed more. Maybe sex is the last thing I need. I grin when I remember the last time I had sex—in France with Alex. It was better than snickerdoodles dipped in chocolate. He made it so…intense. More than usual.
That man is a character. These past couple of months, I missed our exchange of letters. They helped me so much in a way I could’ve never guessed. We were able to talk about things I never thought we could discuss. He shared so much of himself with me.
Who knew he was so much more than an athlete? I should’ve known. I grew up in a circle where people judge you by pictures and bogus articles.
Those letters were meant to keep him away. Yet, they brought us closer. They healed me.
It was smart to stop my exchange with him, wasn’t it?
In all honesty, I was bummed that he didn’t try to communicate with me after I told him I’d be excommunicated.
It was all for the best, though. We’re officially over.
This was perfect. Goodbye sex in France, closure letters while we were apart. It’s so last century that I think I should write a fictional book about us.
Now, there’s a new idea.
When I ask the car service to drop me two blocks from my apartment complex so I can grab a coffee, I remember things aren’t necessarily over between Alex and me. I still have to see him to get my cat. Or, is Draco in my apartment?
Maybe Tess was right, I should’ve called her and asked for her help. Protecting her sometimes doesn’t work as well as I’d hope. It never worked while we were growing up. We did idiotic things trying to protect each other from Alicia.
Let’s just call this an old mistake and move on. I have so much to do. Ethan sent me an email of a publisher who wants to discuss a book deal about my journey. I knew things would be brighter as I walked back into my life.
March 1st isn’t the beginning of Spring, but I feel like it’s the best day to rejoin my life. The weather is just perfect. Mid-sixties. Not too hot or too cold. It’s cold enough to order a latte at my favorite coffee house and warm enough not to need a thick jacket.
Dragging my carry-on all the way to the apartment complex, I wonder how I’m supposed to contact Alex to ask for my cat. After I yawn, I realize that it doesn’t matter as much as catching up on some sleep. I need my bed…and maybe a thirty-six-hour nap before I start my next project.
Do I really want to date?
I’ve never gone out on real dates. My only boyfriend took me out on pre-approved dates.
Unless I count all the premieres he dragged me to because he wanted to show off his beautiful girlfriend.
Davis played me so well. He doesn’t matter.
I’m over him and all the skeletons in my closet that infested my life.
But seriously, how am I supposed to find a date?
Stop, Hannah. You’re too tired to make the key work, finding a date will be catastrophic.
Wait, I look at the door. Since when do I have a keypad? I take a step back and check the apartment number. I’m in the right place.
Grabbing my phone, I text June.
Hannah: What’s your brother’s number?
June: Hello to you, too, stranger.
Hannah: Number, please.
June: What happened?
Hannah: I have zero sleep, and I can’t enter my own home. There’s an electronic lock on my door!
June: Try 5030.
I punch the number, and it opens right away.
“Bruno, Draco, stop!” I hear the commanding male voice before I see my cat and a black and white furball coming to heel in front of me. “Mind closing the door?”
When I look toward my kitchen, I see him. Alex stands by my stove, wearing only a pair of boxer briefs, and he’s cooking.
“What are you doing in my house?” I ask, squatting to pick up Draco, who’s purring around my leg.
“Hey, baby, I missed you.” I hug him tight while the black and white ball of fur next to him sits and pants. I pat him asking Draco, “Is this your new friend?”
“Breakfast is ready, darling. It would have been nice to know you’d be home today. Good thing I’m now part of the SS group chat,” Alex says as if it’s the most normal thing to do. I frown at him. “Have you eaten yet?”
“You’re in my house, naked, and cooking,” I state, dropping my stuff on the couch. “Look, thank you for keeping an eye on my cat, but…”
Looking around, I realize that my living room looks slightly different. The color of the walls is a lighter tone of lavender. The couches look...newer. Everything is out of place. “What happened?”
He sighs. “The downstairs apartment had a fire. Our apartments suffered some damage. I fixed it the best I could, but I had to replace most of the living and dining room furniture. Also, the door.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
Turning around, he gives me a good look at his abs, and suddenly, my need for sleep is replaced by desire. Lust. Whoa, this is my brain telling me I have to go to bed—and definitely not with him.
“It happened around the holidays. Since you were out of reach, I called your guys,” he explains. “Not because I needed them to fix the place, just to get approval.”
“Did they?”
“Yeah, they told me where you purchased your old furniture. As you can see, the interior decorator matched almost everything. We were at the shop when it happened, so the kids were safe, in case you’re wondering.”
Alarms sound inside my brain. My memories. I walk to my office and see my pictures are fine. Everything in my office is untouched: same with my bedroom. Except, one side of my bed is unmade.
“Did you sleep in my bed?”
“I do. I did,” he answers nonchalantly. “Draco doesn’t like to sleep alone. I try not to move him from this place unless it’s necessary. Like when we need to visit Aunt June.”
“Please tell me you didn’t put him with the luggage.”
“They always travel first class,” he informs me. “So, when were you going to tell me that you’re going to be dating other men, dear?”
“What?” I ask, but I continue walking around my house. It feels like my place but slightly different.
“Well, you left me with the kids, and now you’re back home telling me—through your magazine—that we’re dating other people.”
Finding his pants hanging on my reading chair, I grab them and go back to the kitchen. “Here, put these on,” I order.
“I’m comfortable, but thank you,” he says.
“Well, then, go back to your place,” I tell him.
“We’re having breakfast, dear,” he says, ignoring me. “While we talk about this nonsense. I thought we had something special, and now you’re dating other men.”
His smirk relaxes me. He’s kidding.
“Good one,” I tell him. “Did you have women in my bed?”
“It’s just me. It’s been us since France.” He plates poached apples and serves me oatmeal. “Come on, sit with me.”
This guy cooked too much food for just one—or was he really waiting for me? I don’t think much of it and take a spoonful of oatmeal.
“Alex, I appreciate everything you have done for me for the past year,” I tell him, making sure I don’t sound ungrateful. But I have to put a stop to his flirting and nonsense that’ll take me nowhere.
After losing my job at the university, I have to concentrate on my other projects. He’s not part of it. How can I date if he’s around?
The guy’s going to offer me unlimited nights with him, and I need something solid. It’s time to let myself feel.
“It’s nothing,” he says humbly. “Actually, it was great. Draco is a fun guy once you get to know him.”
“Right now, I need my bed before I have to go back to work.”
“The semester began a few weeks back, is that why you came back?”
“Nope, I got fired,” I correct him. “They let me go since I wouldn’t come back in time for the spring semester.”
He doesn’t press for more information, only says, “Are you okay with that?”
I frown. “Why would you ask?”
“You love what you do, even when it means having a first day again and again. Like that freaky Groundhog Day movie,” he mentions. “When I stopped competing, I—”
“It’s not the same. Not because they’re not related, but because I can apply for other jobs when I’m ready.” I reach for his hand and squeeze it. “You had to quit forever.”
He looks at our hands in a funny way, and I take mine away slowly. Why did I overstep?
“Why do you want to date?” he suddenly asks. “It’s a good article. Finding your person, or was it, partner? I can’t remember.”
I smile because the guy seems to be reading everything I write. Even when it’s corny or has too much new-age-hemp-old-eastern wisdom. I think that’s exactly what he said in one of his letters.
“Well, I’m working on a millennial version of Eat, Pray, Love,” I remind him. “I ate, a lot. There was some praying. Well, I definitely learned how to do it in different places and religions. There’s not one exact way to do it. It’s all about faith, you know. Now, it’s time for love.”
He glances at me and nods, taking a spoonful of oatmeal.
“It’s time to fall in love...for real this time,” I repeat, and I’m not sure why I’m nervous. “The whole thing with dates and the works.”
“The works,” he repeats. “Those two words sound loaded.”
Alex grins. The cocky smirk reminds me of France and his letters. He’s a good friend. If only I could turn off the switch that makes me turn into goo every time he smiles at me like that.
“How’s your family?” I ask, tasting the apple.
Keep it safe, no crazy thoughts.
He pulls out his phone and swipes it. After a few taps, he says, “Here, I think you’re going to like this.”
It’s a picture of June’s babies. She and I have been texting and emailing often. I’ve seen pictures of them, but this one is a candid image of them covered in baby food and smiling.
“Oh my God, these three are growing up so fast,” I say as I stare at them, wanting to hold them. “Vaughn looks a lot like his dad.”
He nods. “The girls are sweet. Blake, Jason’s kid, is also getting big. He’s a Spearman.”
“Not sure what that means, but it sounds scary,” I say, swiping the next picture and then the next. There are many pictures of the babies, his parents, his family. “You have a happy family.”
He shrugs. “We’re okay. There are up and downs. Some days, we hate each other, but at the end of the day, we have each other.”
I nod, understanding exactly what he means. “Thank you for breakfast, but I need to take a nap.”
He chuckles. “That’s a subtle way to kick out the cat sitter.”
“That was...thank you for looking after him.”
When he rises from his seat and starts picking up, Bruno walks over with a leash in his mouth, wagging his tail.
“Hey,” I greet him, rubbing the top of his head. Draco meows, rubbing his head against my leg.
“It’s time for their daily walk,” Alex offers. “Go to bed, maybe we can talk about visiting your friend once you’re rested. She misses you.”
I study him closely. There’s something about Alex I don’t trust. He’s acting differently.
What am I missing?