Chapter Fifteen — Trinity
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
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TRINITY
My mouth dropped open a second before the heat, arousal, and longing hit. Because I imagined what Logan said. Right?
“What does that mean?” I saw the hesitation on their faces, and I quickly moved to clarify. “I mean, I know what it means, but what does it mean for you? Because I’ve never done it before and I’m not sure. Not that I’m opposed, I would just need to know—”
Bastian turned my face toward his and kissed me. One hand slid behind my neck and held me still while he kissed the words off my lips, blanking out my mind and bringing my entire being to stillness.
His thumb stroked along my jaw as he pulled back. “Listen. We’ll tell you.”
The roughness of his voice didn’t have a right to feel so gentle. Steady. “Okay.”
“Was this all right?” He stroked my jaw again.
“Yeah.”
A tiny smile. “Good.”
Brooks dragged his hands up my legs. I felt the heat of his hands through my jeans. “You’ve already seen this up close, but the four of us are kinky as fuck.”
“Could have fooled me.”
He flicked my knee gently. “Brat. Like I was saying, we’re kinky as fuck, and that’s important to us. We want you, and we all want to be on the same page before anything more happens.”
“This is what I went to get,” Theo said, holding out a stack of papers. “If it’s something you’re willing to consider, we’ll have you go through this list and mark everything you’re interested in and everything you’re not.”
He set the papers in my lap, and I smiled up again. “I’ve seen one of these before. My friend Isolde had to do one… That’s a longer story, but I’ve seen one. Not as comprehensive, though.”
The list was several pages long and had different checkmarks for levels of interest from ‘absolutely yes’ down to ‘absolutely never.’ At first glance, most of the things I’d heard of, but there were some I hadn’t.
“I’m glad,” Logan said, leaning in to kiss my shoulder. “It will be less overwhelming.”
“But what does it mean on your end? What are your interests?”
Theo shook his head. “Right now, that doesn’t matter.”
“Why not?”
“Because we don’t want what we want to influence your choices,” Brooks said. “We have our own versions of this list. Fill yours out. Then we’ll compare and go from there.”
Something about that settled me. This wasn’t a list of demands—it was a curiosity. Something to explore. But…
The question I’d been about to ask froze on my tongue. I was going to ask if they would still let me move in if I didn’t want it. But even asking that felt like a lie.
I couldn’t say that I wasn’t interested. Not only because of Element, but because what I’d said that night was true. I’d always imagined a relationship outside of the ‘normal.’ Had always wondered what it would be like to have someone take the load off my shoulders and just let me breathe.
That was what they were offering, and though I was still nervous as hell, I’d already told them I wanted them. We all loved this. I owed it to myself to see what it could be like instead of stopping something before it had the chance to blossom.
Isolde and Ocean would give me a hard time before being over the moon.
Actually, the last time we’d gone through a form like this, Isolde had been on the other side of the country. Now we were here, and I felt like going through it with them. Possibly with the addition of Rowan’s chocolates.
Still, the anxiety of not wanting to get it wrong rose up. “What happens if there’s something you guys want that I don’t, or the reverse?”
“Then we'll talk about it,” Brooks said. “But I don’t see that happening.”
“You don’t know. I could be a total freak, and you have no idea.”
“Baby, I already know you’re a freak, and you’re exactly my type of freak.” His grin made my stomach flip.
“How long do I have?”
“There’s no time limit. Take whatever time you need to think about it.” Logan held out his hand. “Can we put our numbers in your phone?”
“Please.” I unlocked it and gave it to him, my eyes still on the list.
I looked through the first couple of pages while they passed my phone around and entered their numbers. When Bastian handed it back, it was open to a group chat with the four of them, texting them so they also had my number.
Sitting nestled between them felt so natural. Like we’d been doing it forever. “By the way, I know Liz suggested it, but I really don’t have to move in here. I’m sure my apartment is fine. I just need to get it cleaned up and make a report tomorrow.”
Brooks frowned. “Get it cleaned up?”
“Yeah,” I sighed. “I didn’t go all the way inside, but I think I’ll probably need a new couch. I’m a shit seamstress and there’s no way I’m sewing up that many cushions.” All four of them were silent, staring at me. “What?”
“When you said your apartment was broken into, I thought you meant the lock on your door or window was broken and some things were missing. Are you saying your apartment was ransacked?” Theo asked.
Nerves danced along my spine. “Yeah. Lots of things were broken, and it was quiet, but I didn’t want to risk them still being inside. I knew I had bad luck, but this tops the list.”
Bastian growled, low and dark. “You said they took your spare keys?”
“Yeah.”
“Then you’re moving in,” he said.
“Maybe.”
He turned his face like he might kiss me again. “No maybe. You are moving in.”
I bristled, lifting the papers. “I might be okay with this, but I’m not okay with orders I have no say in.”
“You were attacked. And now that person has access to everything you do. Locks need to be changed at both your and Cecil’s houses. You won’t be safe.”
“I didn’t know you could talk that much.”
He inclined his head. “I can. I try not to.”
“Why?”
Brooks answered. “His vocal cords have permanent damage. It hurts to talk too much, so he saves it for when he needs it.”
And he thought right now was that moment.
You won’t be safe.
Like changing lenses on a camera, it became clear. His order to move in didn’t come from a place of control. It came from a place of worry and concern. He wanted me to be safe.
Turning back to Bastian, “I still want to think about it. Besides,” I smirked, “I didn’t see a bed in that room.”
He shrugged. “Take mine. I’ll sleep on the couch.”
“I appreciate that. But I’m going to stay with Ocean tonight. Her Alphas have some of the best security in existence, so I’ll be safe.
“Not because I don’t trust you and not because of the bed, but because if I stay tonight, there’s no way anyone is staying on the couch, and I need to fill out the list before I let you have your way with me.
Which is a huge temptation, by the way. And if I’m going to do this list, I’ll need bestie support. ”
We all laughed together, breaking the tension. Bastian relaxed, though his hands were still on me, holding me close. He pulled me to him all the way and kissed my cheek. “Okay.”
“You don’t have to fill out the list tonight,” Theo said.
“I know, but all I’m going to do is think about it until it’s done, so I might as well lean in. That’s the way my brain works, by the way. I’ll get hooked on a thing and not be able to stop until I’m through everything.”
Brooks smirked. “Good to know.”
I texted my group chat with the girls.
Trinity
Are you guys finished with dinner?
Ocean
Almost. What’s up?
Trinity
Any chance I can stay at your house tonight? I’ll tell you more later, but I can’t stay at home tonight.
Ocean
Yeah, of course. We’ll be home soon, but security will let you in if you get there first.
Isolde
Is everything okay?
Trinity
Some things yes, some things no.
Isolde
Does this call for a sleepover?
Trinity
Yes. With Rowan’s special candy.
Isolde
On it. I’ll be there in an hour. Maybe less.
Ocean
Me too. See you soon!
Trinity
Thank you. You have no idea.
Isolde
We got you, girl.
“Ocean confirmed.”
“Do you need anything from your apartment? We can take you and make sure the coast is clear.”
I shook my head. “No. I probably shouldn’t touch or move anything in case the police want to see it.”
“Then we can take you,” Theo said. “Though I’m tempted to throw you over my shoulder and carry you to one of the bedrooms.”
“I’m tempted to let you.”
We stared at each other, the need building between us like a physical thing before Brooks stood and reached for me, lifting me to my feet. “Let’s go before none of us have any senses left intact.”
“You say that like it’s a bad thing.”
“Oh, I’m looking forward to it,” he said. “Counting down the minutes, actually.”
I didn’t say it out loud because it felt too real. Hope was a dangerous thing. I’d learned a long time ago that things you hoped for rarely happened, so I stopped hoping. I would do the list, and whatever came after that? We would see.
But deep in the darkest corners of my soul, I was counting down the minutes too.