Chapter 181 Aurélie #2
“Your sweet spot’s somewhere between third and fourth,” I said lightly, shifting smoothly, like I already knew every inch of her.
“Clutch is tight. Probably because no one’s handled her properly in a while.
” I didn’t need to look at him to feel the tension radiating off his body.
The corner of my mouth curved. “Relax, baby. I know exactly when to pull back… and when to push harder.”
He didn’t respond right away.
I flicked a glance to the passenger seat. Half a second. That’s all I needed.
His shoulders were bunched up. One hand on the door, the other braced against the center console like he was preparing to be launched into orbit.
Knuckles white, face pale in the fading daylight.
His lips were parted slightly, but no sound came out.
His eyes weren’t even on me; they were on the road, wide and unblinking.
And that’s when I realized… he was scared.
Not of me. Of this. Of being in a machine he couldn’t control.
Of the weather. Of the unfamiliar terrain.
Of the reality that I was no longer sitting pretty in his passenger seat, letting him lead.
He was just along for the ride now, and he didn’t know how to handle it.
Parfait.
Let him fucking feel it.
My grip on the wheel tightened. The speed climbed. We crested a blind bend just as a long slick of water snaked across the road. I felt the tires skim it, hydroplaning for a fraction of a second before I corrected with a quick, small twist of the wheel.
He flinched hard. His entire body jerked like we were about to slam into the tree line. He braced both hands now, breath catching.
“Fucking hell—”
I didn’t even blink. “Best driver in the world and you still don’t know how to properly brace for an impact,” I taunted sweetly, eyes locked on the road. “Who’s the real rookie here, Cal?”
He didn’t take the bait right away, but I could see the shift in his profile from my periphery.
The slight shake of his head, the bobbing of his throat, the way he bit down on his lip like he wanted to respond but didn’t trust himself to open his mouth.
Maybe he thought staying quiet would keep me from going off.
But I wasn’t looking for permission. I wasn’t asking for control.
I had it already, and he couldn’t stop it.
Just like he couldn’t stop the rain from coming down in heavy sheets, making these roads treacherous.
And now was my moment, right here in the throes of the countryside, where I drove without a destination and our lives were in my hands as I accelerated more.
“HOW COULD YOU NOT TELL ME YOU WERE THINKING ABOUT RETIRING?!” The scream cracked from my chest like a lightning bolt.
My voice didn’t shake. It burned. “After everything we’ve talked about, Callum?
After everything we’ve built? You asked me to stay.
You begged me to believe in this! And then you ambush me in front of everyone? ”
“Auri—”
“Don’t you dare ‘Auri’ me.” My hands practically choked the steering wheel. “You told me we were a team. That we’d fight together. And then you made it sound like you’ve had a whole life planned without me. Like I was just a speed bump on your way out.”
“It wasn’t like that—”
“Then what the fuck was it? Because from where I’m sitting, it sounds like this morning you whispered sweet nothings to me about having a family, and then you did this.”
His voice rose, hoarse and fraying. “I said I’d explain it. You didn’t give me a fucking chance—”
I slammed my palm against the wheel. “Oh, I’m sorry, were you saving the romantic part for after you nuked everything?”
“Would you stop for one goddamn minute?” he snarled, easing back into the seat and shifting to grip the safety handle on the door.
“No. You don’t get to pull the Dom card and shut me up just because you’re the one who fucked up.”
That hit. I saw it. The barely-there yet unmistakable flinch. His whole body seemed to draw inward, like he’d just taken a punch to the ribs and was bracing for the next one. But he didn’t interrupt or attempt to defend himself. Just sat there and took it.
And I wasn’t done. I merged onto the bypass, headlights streaking past like angry comets, the rain battering the windshield so hard it sounded like applause from hell.
The wipers screamed back and forth at full speed, barely keeping up.
Streetlights were halos in the dark, warping through the wet glass.
I took a hard curve with practiced ease, the kind that said this road belongs to me. Because right now it fucking did.
“It wasn’t calculated,” he said finally, quietly. “Not in that moment. It was a thought. One I wasn’t ready to say out loud. I was already pissed off and it just… came out when Reinhardt showed up and gave us a fucking war plan—”
“So you panicked? You dropped a bomb to distract from the fact you were about to abandon me?”
His chest heaved. “It wasn’t about abandoning you. It was about saving you.”
I went cold. “Don’t you dare put this on me.
Don’t you dare tell me you did it for me when you couldn’t even look me in the eye while you said it.
And don’t you dare act like I need saving, Callum.
I let you take care of me because I choose it.
You asked me to let you love me while I learned to deal with my issues.
That is all I have been doing. But do not mistake that decision for needing to be saved. ”
I wasn’t a girl waiting for rescue. I was a woman who chose when to surrender. And he of all people should’ve known the difference.
And now all I was met with was silence.
Not the good kind. Not the comforting kind.
I pressed the gas harder.
“You’ve never needed saving, Aurélie. I’ve never once thought that.”
“Just like you never thought about what that would do to me,” I retorted, my eyes burning as the truth bubbled to the surface. “You didn’t think about what it meant for me to believe we were in this together, and then realize you’d made your decision alone.”
“It wasn’t relevant until now.”
“Excuse me. Until now?”
“Until my crash,” he said at last, barely more than a whisper.
“That’s when I started really thinking about it.
When I didn’t recover as quickly. When I woke up on that stretcher thinking I wouldn’t be able to walk again…
and realized how close I’d come to losing everything.
I started wondering how much longer I could keep pushing.
Risking it all, every damn day. Not when I had you now.
Not when I finally had something to live for. ”
My stomach twisted. I gripped the wheel tighter, but I didn’t speak. I just swallowed hard.
“And when I thought about stepping away—really stepping away—I knew there was only one thing I’d want to do after.
Because I believe in you, Auri. In your cause.
In making this sport a better place. Because it’s the only thing that’s ever saved me.
And if I’m not racing…” he exhaled, voice splintering, “It’s the only thing I want to do with my life. ”
My vision blurred. Guilt sliced its way up my spine like broken glass. Fuck, I hadn’t seen it. I hadn’t seen him.
“So, yes, Aurélie,” he said, his voice tighter now. “I did think about it. Because my head is all fucked up. And I didn’t know how to say any of it. It wasn’t a decision. It wasn’t a plan. It was just this storm in my brain. Like pieces of a puzzle that didn’t fit together yet.”
He raked his hands down his face, then through his hair, hard, fists gripping the strands like he needed pain to stay grounded. His whole body was wound so tight I could feel the unraveling just inches away. His breath came faster, ragged, almost as if he was trying not to cry.
“And that’s why I didn’t say anything yet,” he finished, voice nearly gone.
I looked at him—really looked at him—and I saw it. All of it. The hurt. The shame. The need to still be someone worth loving. It gutted me.
“Then why the fuck did you say it at all?”
His hand hit the dash with a violent crack. “Because Reinhardt gave us the leverage to finally take Morel out. And I realized it might cost me everything. And I thought…” His voice trailed off, and he inhaled a shaky breath. “I thought if it bought you freedom, I’d pay it. No matter what it took.”
The tears came then, hot and humiliating in the near darkness filling the space between us now.
I didn’t wipe them away. I just kept driving.
“Your career is just beginning, Aurélie. You deserve a legacy that doesn’t begin in someone else’s shadow.
Mine is changing directions, whether I’m ready for it or not.
And I wanted to have something—anything—lined up.
Some version of a future where I wasn’t washed up and useless.
Because how the hell can I take care of you if I’m nothing? If I’m no one?”
My heart split open like a fault line. I couldn’t stop picturing him as a little boy, left behind, overlooked, told he was too much and never enough in the same breath. No wonder control became his currency. No wonder he clutched it like a lifeline.
Without thinking, my foot accelerated more. It was fast, maybe too fast, too reckless.
“I was the scrawny kid in the back of the class with a stutter,” Callum admitted, barely audible over the sound of the engine purring.
His accent thickened, a telltale sign that he was slipping mentally.
“The one they picked last. The one they tripped in the halls. Racing was the first place I didn’t feel small.
Where I could make people shut the fuck up.
But even then… that fear stuck with me. That I’d lose everything the second I let go. ”