37. Special Delivery
Chapter 37
Special Delivery
M y hands shake as I walk up the steps to Noah’s apartment, clutching the parcel. It took Ash one week to craft the special minis I made of us. I can just see them on his shelf with his Warhammer minis.
But these would be different. Ours.
I also found a woman who makes custom paint at the market and bought some, to include in case he wants to paint them. I tried not to go overboard and buy him every color she offered, but the box is relatively heavy.
The scent of bergamot and old books tickles my nose as I approach his door. Noah.
Tears spring to my eyes, the heat of despair threatening to pull me under and I haven’t even seen him.
I don’t plan to.
Noah said he needed time, and I refuse to push him before he’s ready. He deserves his boundaries, and he deserves his space.
If I’ve learned anything in these past few months on my own, it’s that boundaries are important. I need them with Laura—I can’t be her surrogate mother anymore—and I need to respect when someone puts them up with me. Even if the weight of anxiety pulls on me so hard at night I cry myself to sleep.
Despite that, he also deserves to know that he’s loved and that I’m still here. It’s a gesture, a small thing to let him know that the door is open when he’s ready to walk through it.
I deposit the box—which includes the first drawing I ever made of his eyes before I knew him—on the welcome mat and turn.
I love you, Noah.
“He’ll come around.”
I jump at the distinctly male voice. I turn to see Benji standing there with a grocery bag and a sheepish smile.
I put a hand on my galloping heart. “Benji, I’m sorry I didn’t see you there.”
He shrugs, the paper bag rustling in his hand. “I have that effect. Noah calls me Spider-Man.”
“He never mentioned that.” A small chuckle escapes me. “It sounds like him, though.”
“He will come around, Hazel. I’m not sure exactly what happened between you—he’s being uncharacteristically vague about the whole thing—but I know he loves you. I’ve never seen him like this, and I don’t think he’s stupid enough to give it up.”
The tears that never really went away drip down my cheeks. “It was my fault.”
“Regardless.” His smile is genuine. “From how he talks about you, I’d be surprised if whatever you did was malicious. People make mistakes. Part of loving someone is knowing that they will inevitably hurt you by accident. No one is perfect, and he never expected perfection from you. That doesn’t mean we don’t need a moment alone to process our emotions, but it also means we don’t give up.”
Love has never been explained that way to me. A small flicker of hope ignites in my chest.
“Tell him I love him? And—” I turn and pick up the box “—make sure he gets this.”
Benji nods and takes the box in his other hand. “It’ll be fine. And we’ll spend more time together, too. We’re family now.”
The days meld together until a full week has passed. I spend my time working in the shop, painting, and trying to be more of a sister to Laura than the parent I was forced into being.
She refuses to discuss a funeral, just keeps saying that it’s not time. Grandma insists on not pushing her, but I worry that she’s sitting in her grief or hasn’t accepted what happened.
Mom is gone, and there’s nothing that can be done to change that.
It’s two against one though, and I won’t bulldoze everyone with how I think things should be. I won’t be Mom.
Two knocks rap on the door and Laura pokes her head in. “Drawing?”
I nod, looking up from my sketch. “Trying something new.”
“You should come downstairs. Something came for you.” She slips back out just as quickly as she appeared. Laura hasn’t lingered lately.
I put everything away and exit my room. I take a deep breath, and with it—electricity.
I practically fall down the stairs in my haste, my eyes searching. Standing in the foyer with his hands in the front pockets of his jeans is Noah.
Noah .
He’s beautiful. Handsome. Lovely. Comforting. And all I want is to run into his arms and forget everything that’s happened. But I can’t. The uncertainty of our situation keeps my feet rooted to the floor.
For a moment, we just stare at each other. My eyes rake his body, taking in all the small details that I remembered but know my memory didn’t do justice. All the pieces and parts of him that make him exactly who he is.
His lips turn up in a small smile, chin dimple deepening. “Hey, Hazel.”
A sob wrenches itself from deep in my chest at the sound of his voice. “Hey.”
“I have something I need to ask you.” His footfalls are solid, sure, as he walks toward me. Until we’re so close I can count his eyelashes if I wanted to.
“Yes?” I whisper into the inch of space between us.
He lifts the mini of him. “Do you think I’d look better with a red shirt or blue?”
I laugh. It’s a sobbing, relief-filled exhalation that takes so much weight off my shoulders I practically collapse into Noah’s sweater.
He’s here.
He wraps his long arms around my trembling body, pressing his nose into my hair.
I repress the urge to just word-vomit all over him. He’ll speak when he’s ready and for now, I’m just happy to be near him again. I ache with the way I missed him, with how I still miss him.
“Would you like to take a walk with me?” he asks, pulling back just a hair to make eye contact.
I nod. I glance down at the hand I’ve wished I could hold so many times since I last saw him and slide my palm into his. Our electric pulse skitters against my skin in a reassuring hum.
Autumn leaves crunch underfoot as we walk through the residential area of Chagrin Falls. The air is nippy, and snow is coming, I can feel it. Maybe not today, not tomorrow, but in the next few weeks. Each old Victorian home has pumpkins outside, leftovers from Halloween. I was so wrapped up in everything going on that I completely forgot the holiday existed. I guess that happens when your mother sacrifices her life for the man you love.
“I need to apologize to you, Hazel,” he says, brown curls so tangled with his bushy eyebrows that I can’t tell where one begins and the other ends.
I do a double take, unsure if I heard him correctly. “You need to apologize to me ? Noah, I can’t think of anything you’d need to apologize to me for.”
“Hazel, baby, your mother died protecting me.” He shakes his head. “And I had no fucking idea. I was so wrapped up in my own feelings about the whole situation that I didn’t even let you tell me. Laura had to tell me.”
“Laura?”
“She told me she took my number from your phone while you were showering and called me this morning. Told me I’m an absolute moron and explained what happened that night in full. She read me the fucking riot act, if I’m honest, and I deserved every single second of it.”
I’m shaking my head before he even finishes talking. “No, I lied to you. I lied about everything, and you didn’t deserve that.”
“Laura kind of explained that, too. Told me how you had been taught to repress your magic for so long and went against your mom to finally discover that part of yourself. I can’t imagine how tough that must have been for you.” His fingers slide against mine at our sides. “I do wish you would’ve told me, but I believe that you would have.”
“Noah.” I stop walking, forcing him to turn and face me. “Why are you letting me off the hook? You were so upset, and I know what I did triggered something deep for you.”
His hand comes up to cradle my cheek. “Hazel, I love you. I’ve loved you since the first fucking second I saw you and I’ve loved you every day since. The lies hurt me, on top of the fucked up situation of being kidnapped, and I needed to retreat. Lick my wounds. But I never stopped loving you. If I had known your mother died, I would have been here sooner. I would have never left. I love you, and I’m here for you during the easy shit and the hard shit.”
“I thought...” I don’t want to tell him what I thought. That I so easily believed that when he walked out that door he was gone forever. That I believed I deserved it.
“I am so sorry. I know what you thought, and I never should have made you think that. I should have communicated better.”
My eyes burn, my vision swimming until all I can make out are the black-brown eyes that have haunted me for months. Years. “I shouldn’t have lied. I won’t lie to you anymore. I won’t hide any pieces of myself from you.”
“You didn’t know who you were, Hazel. I finally understand that you were still discovering. How could you be honest when you didn’t know what the truth was?” He pulls me into his chest, and I bury myself in the warmth of him. “I’m sorry. I promise to communicate. I won’t ever leave like that again.”
No more lies.
“Did Laura tell you what you are to me?”
“I don’t think so? What are you talking about?”
Now or never. I steel myself, pulling myself out of his chest to meet his gaze. “The Pruitt women are blessed by an ancestor from Salem. She gave us the power to recognize our soulmates. And you are mine.”
“Soulmates? Like in romance novels?”
He wasn’t kidding when he said he read romance. “I guess. It’s the buzz. The electric shock I used to give you when we first met? That’s the sign I’ve found my person.”
“I asked if you shuffled your feet on the ground and zapped me,” he chuckles. “Did you know then?”
“No, I had no idea until we had been dating for a little bit. I just thought it was a weird witchy thing, which it kind of was, but...” I trail off with a shrug of my shoulders.
“Hmm.” His mouth quirks in a little half smile. “I’m your soulmate, huh?”
“Yep. I’m never going to love anyone else for the rest of my life.” I smile to soften the seriousness behind those words. Because it’s true. Noah Rogers is it for me.
He’s quiet for a moment, thumb trailing along my cheek before it slips to trace my bottom lip. “I can think of no better fate.”
He presses the gentlest kiss to my lips, a sweet caress. My hand lifts to his stubbly cheek as we press against each other. His hands hold my hips just a little too tight, as if to reassure him that yes, I’m here. I’m real.
I nip his lower lip and the kiss deepens. I inhale his scent and feel his body underneath my fingertips and lose myself in the love we share.
With panting breaths, we part.
“I love you, Noah. I will love you until this world stops spinning and beyond. You are mine, and I am yours.”
“I love you, Hazel. You are mine, and I am yours.”
“Sexiest octopus I know.”
He blinks. “Wait. What?”
This is going to be fun.