4. Nelle A Display of Monstrosity
Nelle: A Display of Monstrosity
Nelle curled up on the thin mat in the corner of the Big House’s kitchen, trying to get comfortable enough to go to sleep.
Both Kai and Little John had offered to have someone build her a hut of her own; in fact, Kai kept promising to do so.
But she wouldn’t—no, couldn’t—take them up on it.
Accepting the offer felt like a statement that she was going to stay, and, in her heart, she knew the lieutenants wouldn’t let her stay much longer.
She’d already stretched her welcome thin.
Besides, the Big House, which was, in truth, a little church, complete with a kitchen and restroom, felt more like home than anywhere else in camp.
It sat empty most nights, unless the lieutenants had a meeting or there was a new family they hadn’t found a place for yet.
In both cases, she’d rather be close by.
If the lieutenants were meeting, they’d need refreshments, and she almost always had something on hand to provide.
And if there was a new family, it helped to have someone on hand to get them settled in.
That’s right, a snide little voice in her head whispered. Make yourself invaluable to them. Then they have to let you stay.
Nelle shook the voice away. That wasn’t why she helped. She loved the camp. Loved the people who made it complete. And if she could make life a little better for them, she would.
She rolled over again, trying to escape the critical voice in her head, reminding her of all that she’d done wrong that day.
Closing her eyes, she found herself back in the little hut, alone with Kai, and remembered the other voice, the one that didn’t sound like her own, whispering commands she didn’t quite understand.
At the memory, Nelle grimaced and jack-knifed up. She would not fall asleep anytime soon, she knew that. She might as well bake.
Baking was her safe space, she reflected as she selected the ingredients she’d need for cinnamon rolls.
Cinnamon rolls were a favorite with the children she cared for.
Well, that and snickerdoodles. The little ones loved anything with sugar and spice.
Fortunately, cinnamon and sugar were two ingredients that she always had on hand.
She couldn’t explain it; every time she thought she was out, they simply appeared in another place.
It would have been eerie if she’d stopped to think about it, but she didn’t want to break whatever magic spell had been placed over her larders, so, mostly, she chose not to.
As Nelle set the yeast to rise, she considered her next steps when Saphira or the other lieutenants finally sent her away.
She supposed she could go to one of the nearby villages and try to apprentice herself as a baker.
That would be her dream. But any time she considered that path, a coil of fear settled in the pit of her stomach.
She didn’t know who she was or where she came from.
And while she might find answers in the nearby villages, she feared she might also find the reason behind her memory loss.
She wasn’t sure she was strong enough to find those answers.
“Working late, Nellie?” She jumped at the unexpected voice, then immediately settled when she saw it was Will Scarlett, one of the newer lieutenants, along with Little John.
Her heart fluttered a little, as it always did when she saw Will.
He’d arrived around the same time she had, but he came and went more than the others did.
These days, however, he was in camp more often than not.
His dark eyes glittered as he studied her, and she realized he’d asked her a question.
“Er, yes,” she said, forcing a bright smile.
“Just getting a head start on breakfast for the kids. They always get up so early, and these take a bit to rise, so usually it’s better if I start them the night before.
Not that I’m complaining that they wake up so early.
They’re good kids. And they need a healthy amount of food to keep their energy up.
I know we’re short on the good stuff—fruits and vegetables and meat and such—but I can still make the baked goods.
And whatever the kids don’t eat, we could try to sell in the villages.
” She cringed a little as she realized she was babbling.
Little John smiled. “You take good care of the little ones, Nelle. I don’t know what we’d do without you.”
His words made a soft warmth spread through Nelle’s chest, though, for a second, she wished they’d come from Will. Why couldn’t he notice her? She looked at her feet as she blushed at the thought and mumbled her thanks.
Little John nodded. “You’re welcome.” He glanced around the kitchen. “Do you have anything you could spare for us tonight? The other lieutenants are going to be here in a bit for a quick meeting.”
“Not a problem,” Nelle said, her mind running through her supplies as she considered her options.
She’d put some snickerdoodles she’d made earlier aside, and there was a selection of hard cheeses she could cut up that would be a healthier alternative.
Maybe there were a couple of apples left in the larders that she could serve.
And, of course, there was wine and ale. She could serve wine.
Will seemed to be happier when there were some libations available.
Maybe if she served the right vintage, he’d finally recognize her.
Little John nodded, satisfied that she would take care of their refreshments.
“If you could bring it into the meeting room when you’ve got it ready, we’d be much obliged,” he rumbled before turning on his heel and striding away.
Will didn’t spare her a second glance before he followed the larger man.
Nelle sighed as she watched them walk away, before she gave herself a firm mental shake. She didn’t have time to moon over the men, especially if the other lieutenants were due to arrive shortly. She needed to get to work.
Leaving her dough to rise, she searched the cookware until she found a large enough platter. Once she’d set out the cookies, she found the apples and cheese and made quick work of slicing them up and arranging them on the platter.
After stepping back to ensure the tray met her expectations, Nelle ducked into the cold room for the drinks.
The wine was easy enough to find. They always kept it stacked close to the door, within easy reach for Friar Tuck and the other priest who ran services.
However, she didn’t see the ale. She frowned, going deeper into the larder.
She knew they kept it in stock; it wasn’t a celebration for the Sherwood Company without it. So where was it?
As she went deeper into the cold storage room, the whispering voice that had been at the back of her mind the entire day grew stronger.
It was always like this when it got cold; the lower the temperature dropped, the louder the voice grew.
She shivered as its volume increased to a dull roar. “Loli. Loli, come to me.”
Instinctively, she looked around, searching for the speaker. But there was no one there. There never was. She shuddered and kept searching the room, though the voice was becoming more and more insistent.
Finally, she saw a small keg of ale at the very back of the cold room. She smiled in relief as she reached for it. As her fingers touched the ice cold wood, the whisper became a shout. “Lolienna!”
At the name, a veil passed over Nelle’s vision. Everything became shuttered in shadows. Her body stiffened, and icicles formed at her fingertips.
No. Not now. Please, she begged herself, but her mouth wouldn’t move.
She felt her body move mechanically to the door of the larder, slamming it behind her.
As the door clicked into place, Nelle’s heart dropped and she fought for control.
Sometimes, if it was warm enough, she could get it back. She had to get it back…she had to?—
“Nelle?” Little John’s voice sent another shudder run through her body.
Horror washed over her as she saw he was no longer alone.
Saphira was there, as well as Friar Tuck, Guy Gisbourne, Alan A’Dale, and half a dozen of the other leaders of the camp.
She couldn’t see Will, but she knew that he was there as well.
Nausea welled up in her stomach as she realized that every person who could kick her out of the camp was witnessing her lose control.
She watched her hand lift of its own accord as a spell poured from her mouth.
Little John gave a shout of pain as the ice encased his body, starting with his heart.
A tear trickled down Nelle’s cheek as she watched his face freeze into an expression of fear and pain.
“Nellie?” Will’s voice surprised her. She wanted to turn, to look at him, to explain, but her body still wouldn’t obey her own mind. She felt herself take a step away from him, fortunately, but closer to Saphira.
“Get away from her!” Alan shouted, yanking her backward.
At his touch, the fog in her brain dissipated just enough for her to gain control of her mouth. “Go!” she cried. “Get out of here! Now!”
Saphira didn’t argue with her. She turned and fled the church, shouting something that Nelle couldn’t quite interpret as she went.
The men, however, didn’t move. “Stop this now, witch,” Guy snarled. “If you don’t, we won’t be responsible for our actions.”
“I can’t,” Nelle whispered as the voice in her head started to regain control. “Please, get out of here. I can’t control it. I can’t?—”
“Nelle!” Kai’s voice tore her heart in two. He appeared in the doorway and slowly approached her, his hands raised in a posture of surrender. “Nelle, honey, you’ve got to stop this.”
Nelle’s head jerked. “I can’t?—”
“Yes, you can.” Kai’s tone was resolute. “You’re stronger than you think you are. Come on Nelle. Take control back. You can do it.”
Nelle’s stomach flip-flopped as she tried to take a deep, shuddering breath. “I?—”
Kai’s eyes met hers. “Remember who you are, Little Sister. Take back control. You can do it. Trust me.” Suddenly, he reached out and grabbed both hands.
His touch pushed the voice back into the background of her head, clearing her mind.
The cold seeped out of her bones as she dropped to the ground, her body wracked in helpless sobs.
The lieutenants watched her, whether in horror or disgust, she couldn’t tell. Guy muttered, “She’s a monster.”
Kai glared at him. “No, she’s not. Watch your tongue.”
“You can’t argue with the facts, woodsman,” the brawny lieutenant said. “She’s a Magic who can’t control her power. Any Magic without control is automatically a monster. Any judge and jury in Afeyra would agree.”
“She’s not a monster,” Kai retorted. “Trust me, I’ve met monsters. I lived with one for most of my childhood. If there’s anyone in this camp who isn’t a monster, it’s Nelle.”
“Kai, stop.” Nelle closed her eyes, swallowing hard. “Just…just stop.”
“No,” Kai said, glaring at her, then at the rest of the leaders. “Not until they listen.”
“If she’s not a monster, then how do you explain that?” Guy asked, pointed to the statue that was once Little John.
Kai barely spared it a glance. “It was an accident.”
“An accident?” Alan scoffed. “Don’t be ridiculous. It was cold-blooded murder, that’s what it was.”
Friar Tuck put his hand on the man’s shoulder. “Alan. Perhaps we should discuss this later.” He shot Nelle an uncomfortable look. Whispers she couldn’t make out spread among the other lieutenants.
Nelle ducked her head. “I’m leaving. You can discuss whatever you’d like,” she whispered, before ducking out of the church and fleeing into the woods, trying to leave her actions behind her.